Need Help? Just Ask.

As leaders, we often buy into the perception (more likely than not, self-imposed perception) that we must know the answers, be strong, and just like the Energizer bunny, keep going, going, and going. 

Enough already!

As leaders, the most important lesson we can model and teach others is that we are human.

As humans and leaders, we don’t always have the answers. This requires us to fess up and be honest. Big deal, we don’t have the answer. The difference between leaders and non-leaders is that we will find the answer…whatever it takes, we will find out.

This may require us to do some research or ask someone else, who may have the answer. We may also need to tap into our intuition for inner wisdom to solve the surface question. And, my favorite resource of all, ask Source, Spirit, or God, who is always available 24/7, always honest, and always right on target.

The perception that leaders are always strong is like saying it is always sunny. Just as nature has beautifully shown us, there are seasons to life. As living, breathing human beings, we too, have seasons. Our strength does not come by us always standing, our strength is our ability to get up again after we fall.

Sometimes, this requires us to ask for help.

Even the Beatles asked for help! Here are 5 strategies to remember when asking for help:

- Try out your ideas first, and then if you still cannot figure it out reach out and ask.

- When you ask, present your thinking so far, including some possible solutions or outcomes.

- Don’t be a martyr or bad mouth yourself when you do ask for help– it’s not very attractive.

- Ask a clarifying question. If someone asks you something and you don’t know the answer right away, simply ask them, “Well what do you think?”

- Remember that asking for help could be a great developmental opportunity for someone else to also grow.

The beautiful benefit of our asking is that the helper receives a gift too, by serving. This is a win-win exchange. It can’t get much better than that!

We cannot keep going, going, going. This is unrealistic and quite frankly, dangerous to our physical body, emotional health, and spiritual growth. We are not super-human, so we must stop pretending to be…it is killing us! We need to learn to ask for re-charge time and then take it! Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you.

I would love to hear from you. What is the most challenging thing for you to ask for help?

With love,Dr Maria

Delegate is Not a Four-Letter Word!

For many of the leaders I work with, delegation is a real struggle.Leaders resist delegating because we are so accustomed to doing the work ourselves. Many times, fear will rear its ugly head, thinking that if we want the work done correctly, we must do it ourselves. And then there is the time issue of communicating and training others to complete the task for us.Ahhh, but the benefits of delegation far outweigh the negativity that surrounds this illusive skill. When we delegate, we have more time for our high-priority tasks and we actually get to experience the joy of completing our tasks! Delegation increases our productivity and is a muchbetter use of our resources.Delegation gives us freedom from chaos and confusion. True, there are some tasks best kept to ourselves such as personal matters, confidentialactivities, crises, and activities that are specifically delegated to us. However, we can delegate paperwork, routine tasks, technical matters, tasks with developmental potential, and employee problems that we do not need to be involved in. Since we are not born with the delegation gene, we must learn this skill. It’s not as hard as you think! Just follow these four simple steps and you will be delegating before you know it:1. Explain the need for delegating, including the reasons why you selected that personto complete the task.2. Clearly set the objectives defining responsibility, level of authority, and deadlines.3. Develop a plan to achieve objectives, resources, and give the authority necessary toobtain those resources.4. Establish an accountability plan with checkpoints.Somehow we’ve managed to complicate the idea of holding people accountable, and it is quite simple, really,  I mean simple, the acronym, SIMPLE: S = Set clear expectations – this is the number one complaint and stressor from employees – that the expectations are vague.I = Invite commitment – some say gain “buy in” but I much prefer to invite commitment. With an invitation, there is a shared sense of ownership.M= Measure progress – Super important to keep up on this. How you will measure is part of the description of setting clear expectations.P = Provide feedback – again, super important. Far too often managers will wait until the project is finished to say that it wasn’t done correctly.L = Link to consequences – consequences are also identified in the setting clear expectations step.E = Evaluate effectiveness – Do this together and it becomes a powerful activity for you and the person who is accountable.I would love to hear from you. What are some techniques you use to hold people accountable and why do you think the strategies are effective?With Love,Maria 

What's Love Got to Do With It?

Everything!Why is integrating love so important into our leadership? The answer is simple: because fear is not working and love is a much more powerful force.Here’s a list of reasons to lead with love:• We have organizations full of over-worked, over-stressed employees who find little or no meaning in the work they do for eight to ten hours each day.• We have become paralyzed and/or complacent in the workplace, stifled by fear running rampant in today’s organizations.• Without meaning, we lack purpose and engagement. Love is the conduit to  meaning.• Fear can be motivating for a while, but it is not sustaining. Love nurtures, expands, and grows.• Love honors, cares for, values, respects, and trusts others.• Love creates an organizational culture that is conducive to knowledge creation. If we don’t create, we go away.• We reap what we sow, and if we plant seeds of fear, we will reap more fear. If we  plant seed of love, we will harvest a love-filled culture. Successful organizations such as Southwest Airlines, SEMCO, Tom’s Shoes, Starbucks, Life is Good, and Zappos are built on love and are reaping the benefits because of it.That’s what love has to do with it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!I would love to hear from you. What benefits do you see by infusing love into the workplace?

5 Ways to Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

We have so much we want to do and accomplish as leaders. We dream, create, plan, review, plan some more, and tweak, tweak, tweak. Is this perfectionism or is this fear; and really, aren’t they both the same? Sometimes, we stand behind all of these activities to stay legitimately busy. However, these activities keep us behind the computer.There comes a time (probably now) that we need to step out from behind the computer and into the world of personal interaction. When we step out, then, we can really leave impressions teaching, helping, and leading with those we met. Breaking out of our comfort zones may be different strategies for different people. For some of us we may need to just jump in the water, or we may dive into the deep end, and for some of us, we may just put one toe at a time into the water.The key is to have some movement toward your goal. Success, transformation, and the magic is just outside of our comfort zone. Our movement outside of our comfort zone can start small. One of my clients began this move out of her comfort zone just by taking a different route to work and sitting in a different chair each time she met in the conference room. Here are some strategies to break through your comfort zone barrier:

• Try something new (food, book topic, or music)

• Attend a lecture or presentation on a topic you know nothing about (I did this recently and was fascinated with the learning)

• Identify your habits and look at those habitual behaviors with fresh eyes to uncover the expiration date

• Find a buddy or accountability partner – maybe even take on this project together for support

• Be honest, loving, and patient with yourself as you embark on this journey

OK, here is the challenge:Challenge yourself to commit to one activity outside your comfort zone each day for 21 days and watch your world change, and open before you. I would love to hear from you.Please share your wins of moving outside your comfort zone so we can celebrate!

Connect with Laughter and Love

Early on in my corporate career, colleagues advised me to learn golf, which they claimed as a great way to network, bond with clients, and create deals. I learned the sport, but I did not enjoy the game as much as other people did.At one of our corporate retreats, my boss and colleagues could not wait to get out on the course with some of the top executive staff. I was a bit confused by this because I knew my boss didn’t really like or get along with this group of people. I asked him about it and he said that on the golf course, unless you are a pro, there is no pretense; all are on equal footing and all are hitting poorly. The golf experience allowed them to bring down their guards and share the misery of their poor shots. Like golf, laughter allows us to connect with one another, letting our guards down…without the misery of poor golf shots.Laughter enhances communication by letting our shields down and showing that we are human. The model of professionalism for too long has instructed us to be super-human. We have also learned to check our emotions at the door. We are still human; we still have emotions. To deny that fact is insanity. This is certainly a healthy approach to emotions, which is very different from the professional corporate model we learned.Here are seven strategies for infusing laughter and lightness in your leadership and life:

1. Start developing your practice of laughter with consciously smiling today. See how many people you can touch and shift their energy with your smile.
2. Begin your meetings on a light note. I have the E*Trade babies’ videos on my favorites list and would start meetings with one or two of those commercials. The more I watch them, the funnier they are to me.
3. Watch a funny movie, making note of the elements that tickle your funny bone.
4. Listen to a comedy recording on the way to work, setting the tone for the day.
5. Laugh for 3–5 minutes every day. Faith it ‘til you make it!
6. Commit to do one silly thing a day to cultivate your playfulness.
7. Start collecting stories from work that are funny; invite everyone to participate and present these stories at the annual holiday party.

 I would love to hear from you. What do you do to infuse laughter into your life?With Love,Maria

It's All About Attitude

I love the phrase, “An Attitude of Gratitude”. What exactly is an attitude of gratitude? In basic terms, gratitude is thankfulness.We usually remember to give thanks when we feel great. However, living in a state of gratitude is a way of being. Gratitude may be an activity, but you will live a much fuller life, and lead others more effectively, if it becomes your natural state and not just an occasional activity.In addition to the health benefits of gratitude, it is also an abundance magnet. The power of attraction applies; abundance creates more abundance. Many of us have found ourselves to be in the scarcity cycle. Scarcity thinking is focusing on lacking such things as finances, health, relationships, opportunities, etc.It is important to remember that whatever we focus our thoughts and attention on becomes our intention; you become what you think about.Sometimes scarcity thinking shows up in the form of accumulation and greed. People who hoard are deeply immersed in this mental model. If we hold on to anything too tightly, our hands cannot be open to what may be coming.#1. Keep a gratitude journal. Several years ago and I committed to keeping a gratitude journal. Each day I listed at least five things for which I was grateful, big, or small. Some days the list was a dozen, other days I struggled to come up with five! Then something happened…I soon realized that I was receiving more of whatever it was that I was grateful! Blessings surrounded me in my life, and continue to today.#2. Decide to live in a state of gratitude. Be conscious of your thoughts, always shifting from fear to love, scarcity to abundance. Soon enough, gratitude will become your standard operating procedure!#3. Move your thoughts into action. Tell those employees, family members, and friends that you are grateful for their presence in your life, and why.I would love to hear from you. What are some of the ways you cultivate gratitude in your life? How do you demonstrate gratitude?With Love,Maria 

Gratitude Challenge

Writing about gratitude is one of my favorite topics, as I have written blogs, articles, and chapters about the virtues of thankfulness. As we approach Thanksgiving, I cannot help but revisit this topic again. It warms my heart to see the 30-day challenge many people have taken in this month. I see tweets and Facebook posts with gratitude expressed each day for someone or something in their lives. Woohoo!

I would love to see the challenge extend another month, quarter or year commitment to keeping a gratitude journal or gratitude board in your home or office. Challenge yourself to find elements of gratitude in the mundane or laborious tasks we do on a daily basis. How about a super-challenge of finding what you may be grateful for with a challenging individual. In that difficult situation, try to see the spirit in them; or how you might be grateful for the lessons you are learning from that difficult person or situation. Forgiveness is a powerful door to open the flow of gratitude.You know how much I love the use of acronyms, so here goes one for gratitude:GivingReceivingAbundanceThankfulnessIntentionTogetherUnconditionallyDirectedEveryoneWhen we are in a state of gratitude, we give and receive love and abundance. We are thankful for the intentional way we choose to live our lives. This awareness brings us together to unconditionally direct our love and gratitude to everyone.

Happy Thanksgiving.

With love and gratitude,Maria Dr. Maria Church, CPC, is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance and her upcoming book, A Course in Leadership: 21 Spiritual Lessons on Leadership, Love, and Life. Maria holds a doctorate of management in organizational leadership, teaches at several universities, and is CEO of Dr. Maria Church International LLC, a leadership coaching, development, and training firm. For more information, visit www.DrMariaChurch.com.