What Were You Thinking?

Thoughts are powerful; they are the seeds of ideas, beliefs, creativity, attitudes, knowledge, wisdom, and reality. Thoughts can be our best friends or our worst enemies. Not by happenstance do thoughts come to us; these powerful seeds come to us through choice. Choice and thoughts are action movements, directed by us, whether we are conscious of these activities or not. The key lies in awareness of these two incredible gifts—thoughts, and choices.

Unconscious thoughts are just as powerful as thoughts steeped in awareness. Earl Nightingale, in The Strangest Secret, likened the mind to a fertile field with two planted seeds—one with corn and one with poisonous nightshade. Both seeds, watered and nurtured, grew—because to the field, the type of seeds planted did not matter.

Our minds are the same way, growing whatever our attention plants and nurtures. I saw a sign the other day that stated Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want. With the continued nurturing and care (attention) given to the seeds of worry, the source of worry will grow and become reality. That is how our minds work; we create our realities.

In Thoughts & Feelings, Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning identify fifteen key groups of disempowering perspectives: 

• Filtering – Focusing on the negative details of a situation and filtering out all positive aspects.
• Polarized Thinking – Seeing a situation as either good or bad, right, or wrong, perfect or a failure.
• Over-generalization – Making a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence.
• Mind Reading – Making assumptions about what people are feeling, why they are acting as they are, and how they feel about you.
• Catastrophizing – Assuming the worst possible outcome will happen.
• Personalization – Thinking that everything people do or say is a reaction to you.
• Control Fallacy – Thinking that you are responsible for everyone or everything around you.
• Fallacy of Fairness – Being resentful because you believe that everything in life should be fair.
• Emotional Reasoning – Believing that what you feel is the truth. For example, if you feel unwise, it means that you are unwise.
• Fallacy of Change – Believing that you can’t be happy unless you can change those around you to behave, believe, or think the way you want them to.
• Global Labeling – Generalizing one or two qualities into the negative global judgment.
• Blaming – Thinking that someone else causes everything negative in your life.
• Shoulds – You keep a list of rules about the way the world should operate and become angry or disappointed if others don’t follow your rules.
• Being Right – Going to any length to demonstrate your rightness because being wrong is terrible.
• Heaven’s Reward Fallacy – Feeling bitter when the rewards do not come that you think you deserve after working hard.

Awareness is the first step to disassembling disempowering thoughts. For today, be in awareness of your thoughts and please share your Aha moments!

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Leadership with Maslow in Mind – Part 1 of 2

Based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory, we can see how our basic and safety needs are met, just by having a job and a paycheck. The pay affords us the ability to meet our basic and safety-level needs.

The third tier, belongingness and/or social needs, are the connections with others we crave. Often, after a certain period of time on the new job, we seek relationships with those with whom we work. Going to lunch, taking coffee breaks with each other, or perhaps a cocktail after work are all ways in which we fill these belongingness needs. It is not unusual for someone to say they "hate the job, but love the people they work with".  This is an important sign for leaders to notice.  As soon as those employees get their social needs met outside of work...they are gone!

Our esteem needs are when we seek outside approval from others. We want to know we are valued and appreciated. Employees always remember leaders who are good at this. We often remember how we felt when someone said something to or about us, rather than the specific words uttered by the person. How we felt about those statements or actions has a much longer duration and more deeply affects us than the actual words. I remember while growing up I often heard my mother repeating one of her favorite mantras, “Actions speak louder than words.” How true mother, how very true! This is often the place that we lose “good people” at work, because they don’t feel valued and honored.

The highest level of needs Maslow presented was the need for self-actualization. This is where we seek, with a ferocious hunger to find meaning and purpose in what we do. OK, we may start a new job and begin the quest of the hierarchical pyramid all over again, but we will eventually be right back to this higher order of need. Meeting this need is the fulfillment of meaning. People leave organizations when they reach this need level because their work is not a conduit to their meaning-seeking behavior and need.

How can you leverage this knowledge in your leadership? As always, I love hearing from you.

Love and motivation,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Leadership with Maslow in Mind – Part 1 of 2

Abraham Maslow’s well-known and highly respected Hierarchy of Needs theory describes five level of needs. What does Maslow’s theory have to do with leadership?

If we do not understand peoples’ needs, we do not understand people. We will explore Maslow’s hierarchy and how it may helpful to us in this two-part series. Let’s look at the needs are in order of importance, beginning with the basic needs: 

1. Physiological needs – basic needs of air, food, water, shelter, sex, and relief and/or avoidance of pain.
2. Safety needs – after the basic needs are met, safety and security must be met.
3. Belongingness or Social needs – after safety needs are met, we want to feel connections with people.
4. Esteem needs – after social needs are met, we desire self-respect, status, and recognition for our accomplishments.
5. Self-Actualization needs – the highest level of needs is the development of our full potential. To achieve this sense of fulfillment, we seek to understand and grow, to find meaning in our work and our lives.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is based on three assumptions (a) only unmet needs motivate, (b) needs are hierarchical in nature, basic to complex, and (c) lower level needs must be met before moving to a higher-order need.

On Thursday, we will go into detail on specifically how these needs impact our ability to inspire, influence, and connect with those whom we lead.

Love and Success,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Leadership and the Nature of Balance

I know there is quite of bit of talk going around about balance. Unfortunately, the discussion only seems to pile on guilt because many of us are already aware that we are out of balance. The purpose of this post is not to engender guilt, but to help a miracle come into your life with awareness and practical strategies to regain order and balance.

Let’s look to nature for our lesson in balance. Nature teaches us about seasons. Our life also has seasons. Sometimes our seasons are busy, other times our seasons may offer renewal, and sometimes, our seasons may call for hibernation. Seasons do not go on forever—there is always a change of season. Listen and learn this lesson from nature: you cannot indefinitely go on at a frenetic pace by sheer adrenaline; it is unnatural and could be extremely dangerous to you.

Nature also teaches us that unless we shed the old way, we cannot begin anew. This is nature’s miracle—shifting. A caterpillar shifts to a butterfly, and the snake sheds its skin. We cannot move forward and look for something new if we don’t let go of the old; and we cannot experience the miracle of a different perspective or idea if we hold on to old and limiting beliefs.

We spend a lot of time in leadership and management seminars discussing how to prioritize. Many of us have handled this lesson fairly well at work; but we forget the idea of adding balance to this equation. Like the balance of seasons, we can work at a fast pace for a while, meeting deadlines and seizing opportunities. Without looking at the bigger picture, however, we could end-up spinning our wheels on the perceived priority and everything else goes to pot. That is where order comes into play. Without order, we will continue to drop things, even with our priority list.

Let’s use this time to “Spring Clean” and create order for this season of Spring.  Spring clean your mind of  limiting beliefs and your physical space of clutter. 

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Leadership Renewal

As we move into the season of Spring, a sense of wonder and renewal comes upon me. This is such a beautiful time of year, fresh with new beginnings and renewal. It is important for us, as leaders, to also take the time for renewal and reflection. Years ago, when I was in my doctoral program I wrote a poem of renewal and published it in my first book, Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance.

Here it is:

As a leader of renewal 
            I first dig. 
            Dig deep, 
            And deeper yet.
I first discover who I am 
            Who I truly am 
                        Authenticity.
Then I forgive.
Then I love.
Then I give.
I give to others for their renewal 
               Forgiveness 
                Love 
                Acceptance 
                And the permission to be authentic.
And then… I do it again.

As leaders, we have to give it, share it, mentor it, and grow it. It is love, knowledge, care, trust, love. As leaders, we have a responsibility to be students of those that went before us, stewards of our gifts and talents, and mentors to those that come after us. Our challenge is to go through our own inward journey, describe the lessons we’ve learned, and then return to teach those lessons to the next generation of leaders. We see this in nature and in the circle of life. Let us be renewed in our commitment to love of self, love of Source, and love of others.

Happy Spring!

With the renewal powers of love,
Maria

The Art of Leadership Storytelling

One of the most effective ways to teach is through storytelling. Nietzsche stated, “The more abstract the truth you wish to teach, the more you must allure the senses to it.” That is exactly what storytelling does; it allures the senses. Throughout history, the art of storytelling demonstrates this powerful technique used to teach. Aristotle, Plato, Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Rumi, Gibran, Hemmingway, Emerson, and even Bob Dylan and Smokey Robinson have allured us with their gifted storytelling. This form of teaching captures us through our feelings, connecting with us through our hearts. The emotional heart-tug we get with good stories heightens our attention and holds us captive. We are fully present in those captive moments of a great story, giving our undivided attention to the details. This technique presents an incredible opportunity for the learner to not only be present with full attention, but also to retain the information ready to call upon it when needed.

An ironic yet valuable benefit of storytelling is that the audience (the learner) is present in the moment of learning and the story helps us prepare for future use of the content. When we learn from stories, we learn how they may relate to us. This is a critical element to successful storytelling: the ability to relate. When we teach through stories, we are essentially saying, “When Ann experienced this event, she felt ___________, and when she did ___________, she was successful. So when you feel ___________, try as Ann did and ____________, because you too may be successful!” This mental process the learner experiences helps them to remember the story concept because they are relating it to themselves.

Follow these simple steps to practice the art of leadership storytelling:

1. Identify a story you believe to be a good one and see if you can find the six elements of effective storytelling.
2. Describe the main characters. Include yourself because when leaders are humble, open, and willing to share stories portraying themselves as human, it helps to connect with their team.
3. Portray the situation, challenge, or problem in detail. Explain what is at stake with the issue.
4. Reveal the characters’ intentions, thoughts, and feelings with the situation. Also, express what their thoughts are with potential outcomes and how they feel about what is at stake.
5. Explain the actions taken by the character, including the good, the bad, and the ugly. The more in-depth you are with the description of the actions, the more you may heighten the learner’s interest in the outcome.
6. Discuss the tools that the characters used to take action. Include which tools worked and which ones did not. Keep in mind that the tools may be thoughts, perspectives, strategies, and so forth.
7. Finally, share the outcome.

Feel free to share your stories with me!

Love,
Maria

The Teaching Leader

I love the Buddhist saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” In my many years of teaching formal courses at the university level, I am a student right along with the class I am teaching. When I teach, I learn. I have yet to teach a class where I have not learned something from my many teachers, also known as my students. We are ever changing in this world and the cycle of learning and teaching never changes, unless of course we find ourselves closed off from learning. In order to be a good teacher, we must first be a good student.

As we teach, we must remember that we are not transmitting information—we are transforming lives. That may sound a bit dramatic, but that is exactly what good teaching does; it transforms. Transformation comes about through many different forms: motivation, persuasion, mobilization, influence, and of course miracles. When we teach, we are in essence saying, I care about you, you are important, and I want to help. Wow, who wouldn’t be motivated forward with that type of message? Motivation also comes from demonstrating belief in others. Teaching affords us an opportunity to build esteem and self-efficacy. Think of Maslow’s needs hierarchy; esteem and self-actualization are the top highest levels. Teaching and learning meet both of the high order needs for yourself and for those you teach.

Through the process of teaching, we build trust when we facilitate teaching with a learner-centered approach. Remembering that we are not just transferring information, but transforming others, we teach according to the needs of others. I use the same approach when I do training, coaching, or motivational speaking. First, I discover the needs of the audience and tailor my work to meet those needs. Of course, I provide resources and information to support their transformation, but first I must find out where they are stuck and where they want to grow.

Effective teachers in a classroom setting know this and adjust their lesson plans to accommodate emerging needs that come up during instruction. We call these moments, teachable moments, when we can seize the opportunity and use it as a springboard for learning. A Native American proverb illustrates this concept, Tell me and I'll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I'll understand. Once we identify the needs of the people and address those needs, then learning occurs and the outcome is performance.

Remember this acronym:

Time - Take the time to invest in the development of others.
Empathy – Have empathy for those you teach, respecting the place they are in at that moment.
Awareness – Come into the teaching exchange with full awareness and presence.
Care – Create a safe space for learning to occur that is filled with care and compassion.
Help –Remember that when we serve others, we are truly love-based leaders.

How do you teach in your leadership roles? I love hearing from you.

With love,
Maria

Uncertain Leadership

We expect leaders, including ourselves, to have the answers. If we don’t have the answer to a leadership challenge, we may feel inadequate. These feelings, like inadequacy, may also include feelings of uncertainty and vulnerability. None of these feelings feel good to us, nor are allowed in the workplace, or so we’ve been taught.

Really? Are we really supposed to never experience uncertainty as a leader? We are human beings, “hard-wired for struggle” as researcher, Brene‘ Brown states. We are not the Hollywood version of leaders —we are human. And with our humanness, we are sometimes—make that many times, uncertain.

What do we do with this uncertainty? Well, we bury it of course. This strategy may work for us for a while, that is until it shows up again as illness, ulcers, or worse. Why do you think we are so stressed, obese, and addicted? It is because we bury and numb our feelings.

The interesting thing about numbing is that when we numb our “bad” feelings such as uncertainty, vulnerability, doubt, and fear, we are also numbing our “good” feelings of joy, peace, and gratitude.

Another important aspect to know about uncertainty and vulnerability is that this state is where creativity, joy, and beauty are found. Walking through the door of uncertainty and vulnerability is full of endless possibilities because this is the location of our true, authentic self.

How do we work with uncertainty and vulnerability without going crazy? Follow these five steps to support you during these times: 

1. Embrace uncertainty and vulnerability. Reach into it and pull up and out all of the fear, anxiety, and doubt. Burying and numbing will only allow it to surface again, so lean in, feel those feelings, and then release.
2. Stay present. Don’t worry about the future or live in the past. The only moment you have is the present one, so why waste it?
3. Stay in your own lane. When we start to compare ourselves to others, we set ourselves up for failure, not because we cannot be as successful as someone else can, but because we cannot be anyone else. What I can be is the best version of me, and what you can be is the best, highest self you can be.
4. Practice gratitude. Nothing else will bring you into the present faster than gratitude.
5. Be loving and truthful with yourself and with others.

Remember that uncertainty and vulnerability is the birthplace of truth, authenticity, creativity, and beauty. As always, I love to hear your thoughts.

With love and vulnerability,
Maria

The Hollywood Leader

Many models of leadership exist. A favorite of many, with massive buy-in is the Hollywood version of leadership. Our society has embraced and idolized a stereotype leader we see depicted in film, like the Lone Ranger. This type of leader is nearly omnipotent, strong, and able to handle almost everything that comes his (yes, his) way almost single-handedly. He has all of the answers and endless energy. In many organizations, we have come to expect this type of leader to lead and guide us through the hard times and reign in the good times. These leaders are expected to have strength, courage, valor, and vision.

This perception and expectation of leadership is harmful to both the leaders and the followers. It is unrealistic. Inevitably, the Hollywood leader in organizations, communities, and countries fail, leaving the followers disillusioned and fearful. The leaders in organizations that succumb to this model pay a hefty price of, isolation, stress, fear of failure, stress-related illness, or worse.

Why do we create these types of leaders literally and figuratively? Perhaps the answers lay in our fears and wanting to be rescued. So many of us grew up with the fantasy of fairy tales where we (females) were rescued by the handsome prince who led us out of adversity. We never got to know the rest of the story about the “leader’s” uncertainty or vulnerability. We never saw anything about the rescuer/leader below the surface.

Perhaps another answer to this question could be our instant-fix culture. We want it (whatever it may be) to be fixed NOW! We want instant food, photos, pain relief, escape, and reality. We want instant gratification, and we don’t necessarily want to work for it. By having the leader ride in on the white horse and save the day works much better for us…or so we think.

Please join me on Thursday where I will talk about leadership uncertainty and vulnerability—an answer to the Hollywood leader.

With love and no drama,
Maria

Learning and Leadership

“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.” ~ Albert Einstein

One of the most intelligent people of our time, Albert Einstein, knew that learning never stops. As a college professor and leadership coach, I have the distinct pleasure of witnessing learning at its best. I love working with people who recognize the importance of continued growth and development. Learning is a continuous journey—not a destination or arrival.

In a previous blog, I shared with you my freedom filing system. In this system, each day of the week is devoted to a specific theme. My favorite day is Wednesday, Education Day. I spend the entire day learning. Sometimes this learning is formal by participating in a class, and sometimes it is informal such as reading or watching an instructional video. The learning modality doesn’t really matter, as long as I am learning.

Luxuriating in my education day not only feeds my mind, it fuels my soul. This act of continuous learning is an action of loving myself and humbling myself with the knowledge that there is always room to learn and grow.

Growth continues with the next step that follows, which is action. We can have all the knowledge in the world, but without action, it is useless. The action is what moves me out of my comfort zone where true growth occurs.

No matter how uncomfortable I may be in my action and implementation, I know I will always come to another Wednesday for more treats – learning!

With love,
Maria

Wisdom Simplicity

I was recently asked, “What is wisdom?” That is one of those questions that stops me in my tracks. What a simple, yet complex answer. Because of my preference to err on the side of simplicity, I thought the answer to the question might certainly reside in simplicity. After all, as my friend Dorothy always says, “Simple is profound.”

Before we define wisdom, let’s first look at what it is not. Wisdom is not knowledge. Wisdom is not education. Wisdom is not experience.

Wisdom is circular. We receive it, put it out there, live it, and receive it again. Wisdom is not an achievement where we check the box and move on; it is not an arrival. We taste it and we know of it as we travel on the journey. Wisdom is definitely a process, and not one that is ever truly finished. In actuality, the more we learn, the more we learn that which we do not know. Socrates knew this when he said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” Enter—wisdom.

The simplicity in understanding wisdom, is that it is a combination of all three activities: knowledge, experience, and learning from those experiences. Wisdom, simply stated, is the combination of knowledge and experience.

We also know that our experiences go through the perceptual process. Wisdom brings those two aspects together and makes sense of the stimuli that we experience. While wisdom brings together two forms of external learning—knowledge and experience—it is a deeply internal process. Because it is so internal, reflective time is absolutely necessary in understanding and growing in wisdom.

Today, reflect on a recent experience in stillness. Begin with the process in your heard and slowly move the thought energy to your heart. Then listen with the profoundness and simplicity of wisdom.

With love,
Maria

Freedom Filing System

I love my new freedom filing system and just had to share it with you! As leaders of our lives and organizations, we often times feel overwhelmed and trapped. I experienced this when I worked for someone else and with my own company. As I listed in a previous blog, I recognize the “symptoms” of overwhelm and do not like the way it makes me feel!

My freedom filing system takes care of overwhelm and gives me back my freedom to think, focus, concentrate, and plan with clarity. I call it my “freedom filing system” because it provides me the right amount of structure to be free to create.

As CEO of my own company, I wear many hats. When I am creating new products or writing my books, I have a dark cloud of business correspondence or updating the books hanging over me, which impedes my ability to focus. Recognizing this, I took the following steps and you can too:

• List every category of activities I do throughout the week (product development, writing, education, marketing, meeting with clients, administrative, etc.)
• Group together activities, identifying a theme that makes sense (updating the website and following up with media contacts)
• Determine five categories and which day of the week it makes sense to complete those tasks. This activity creates theme days. For example, Monday is Product Development Day, and Tuesday is my writing day. If I am on a roll with writing product, I can easily carry over into Tuesday.
• Create files for each day of the week, with the theme for the day. Inside each folder, list the typical activities for that day (Marketing day: lead follow-up, web updates, media follow-up, etc.)
• Put all those loose papers into the appropriate folder. If there is an email that has an action item, I print the email and put it into the folder. This simple activity completely cleared my desk and mind. I no longer have to think about the to-do items as I know it is in my folder for that day to complete.
• At the end of each day, I pull my folder for the next day, review the activities associated with that theme and create my action list for the next day.
• Begin and end each day with 30 minutes to answer immediate correspondence.

I now have the freedom I craved because of this structure. How do you get out of overwhelm and what system are you using? I love to hear from you.

With love,
Maria

Get a Grip on Organization

I’ve always considered myself as an organized person, but I must admit that sometimes I get overwhelmed and lose control of my time and organization. In those times of overwhelm, I need to get a grip!

Very recently, I found myself in this space of needing to regain control of my time and organization. I realized that nearly every time I got to this place I experienced the same symptoms in my thoughts and behaviors. I feel: 

• Overwhelmed and find it difficult to concentrate.
• Unorganized and cannot find key files, papers, or other information.
• Paralyzed by uncertainty and just where to begin.
• Forgetful and miss deadlines or appointments.
• Unable to plan due to many, many dark clouds hanging over my head

These are telling signs that I need to get a grip on my organization. When I recognize these symptoms, I do the following simple steps to re-gain control over my life:  

• Write everything down that is in my head and hanging out in those dark clouds. When I do this, I create white space literally and figuratively.
• Determine and/or revamp my file system to capture notes, to-do action items, projects, and other information.
• Create a plan with timelines and stick to it.
• Celebrate the mini-successes!

The simple steps outlined above give me structure, which in turn gives me freedom! When I am free of clutter and dark clouds, I am able to concentrate, create, and plan. On Thursday, I will share with you my most recent file system, my Freedom Filing System.

With love and no overwhelm,
Maria

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Why is integrating love so important into our leadership? The answer is simple: because fear is not working and love is a much more powerful source.

Here are some other reasons to lead with love:

• We have organizations full of over-worked, over-stressed employees who find little or no meaning in the work they do for eight to ten hours each day.
• We have become paralyzed and/or complacent in the workplace, stifled by fear running rampant in today’s organizations.
• Without meaning, we lack purpose and engagement. Love is the conduit to meaning.
• Fear can be motivating for a while, but it is not sustaining. Love nurtures, expands, and grows.
• Love honors, cares for, values, respects, and trusts others.
• Love creates an organizational culture that is conducive to knowledge creation. If we don’t create, we will perish.
• We reap what we sow, and if we plant seeds of fear, we will reap more fear. If we plant seed of love, we will harvest a love-filled culture.
• Successful organizations such as Southwest Airlines, SEMCO, Tom’s Shoes, and Zappos are built on love and are reaping the benefits because of it.

That’s what love has to do with it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

With love,
Maria

Love-Based Leadership

As we close out this month of Love, let’s look at how we can translate that into a love-based leadership model. In my book, Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance, I present a very simple, yet profound way to lead based on three pillars: Love of Self, Love of Source, and Love of Others.

Leading with the Love-Based Leadership (LBL) model, we find meaning, authenticity, value, abundance, and purpose in and through our leadership. Those we lead find motivation, creativity, loyalty, commitment to the task, and value in their jobs through meaning.

Many of us share the common desire to find meaning in our daily work. A leadership model based on love recognizes the importance of living holistically by integrating love, health, wellness, and spirituality into all aspects of our life.

When we lead with the three pillars, we first focus on Love of Self. This is not an egoic love, but rather one where we honor, care for, and respect our self. While developing this pillar, we look to develop: 

• Intuition
• Truth-telling
• Truth-receiving
• Leverage the power of choice
• Perception-shifting
• Presence
• Health & wellness

When we incorporate the second pillar into our leadership, Love of Source, we seek to connect with our Source. This connection fuels:

• Inspiration
• Creativity
• Happiness
• Faith
• Perseverance
• Peace
• Love

In the third pillar, Love of Others, our leadership expands outward to include family, community, and our organization. This practice creates:

• Forgiveness
• Knowledge creation
• Learning cultures
• Shared ownership
• Shared power
• Collaboration
• Meaning

Shifting from fear to love is transformative. This shift will not only transform your organization; it will transform your life.

With love,
Maria

Culture Creation – Part 4 of 4: The Deepest Element

As we conclude this exploration of organizational cultures, we go to the deepest part. Values, like beliefs, are elements extremely important to us, but we are not aware of them until we face a situation that forces them into our consciousness. Integrity, honesty, and ethical beliefs are a few values that often drive organizational and ethical behaviors.

As a coach, I usually begin a coaching relationship with a values clarification exercise. Values are foundational elements to the ways we think, act, and behave. Organizations are coming into awareness about the importance of value identification and are creating value statements to guide the organization. These value statements are as important as the mission and vision statements.

The deepest elements we find below the surface of the tree are the assumptions that feed the entire person and organization, passing through each element all the way through the roots, trunk, and branches to the tips of the leaves. Our assumptions are the most deeply ingrained of all the elements, created by our mental models.

Mental models are the lenses or filters by which we view the world, and no two are alike. Comprised of our familial, educational, community, religious, personal, and professional experiences, our mental models help us make sense, assumptions, and judgments about our life experiences. For example if I said, “pop” what would you think? Some may think of their father, a loud noise, a gun, gum, or soda. Whatever you thought of is reflective of your mental model.

So how do we create a culture based on love and love-based leadership? We start with the roots and work our way up. We begin with awareness and make conscious, strategic choices to create an environment based on love and not on fear. We recognize our own mental models and broaden our beliefs. We wrap awareness around our values and deepen our understanding of how they affect our beliefs and behaviors. We strategically infuse our organizational culture with continued learning and development. We intentionally instill a sense of shared ownership and power in the work we do, providing channels for meaningful work experiences, and we wrap all of these strategies in love.

As always, I love it when you share your insights.

With love,
Maria

Culture Creation – Part 3 of 4: The Beliefs Bridge

Last week, we looked at the elements of the culture above the surface, behavior. The trunk, bridging the branches and leaves above the ground to the roots below, are the beliefs we have individually and the beliefs we share collectively. Beliefs are the support to the behaviors demonstrated on the surface through the physical, language, ceremony, and story elements. The organizational beliefs are sometimes spelled out through the mission and vision statements, as well as policies and procedures. Many times, the beliefs are not in our consciousness until we are faced with a situation where we must examine them.

Because beliefs are the trunk or the stabilizing factor that directly fuels behavior, it is important for us to recognize the power beliefs have over our behavior. For instance, the Pygmalion effect is a phenomenon whereby you believe your team will fail, and in the end, they subsume that negative energy are not successful. Conversely, if you believe the person you just promoted into that position will succeed, the odds are that they will be successful. Our underlying beliefs affect our behavior. In the first example, you may not be available to the team for support, direction, and/or guidance. In the second scenario, you may be fully present to help that person succeed, providing mentorship and encouragement. Just as Henry Ford stated, “If you believe you can or believe you cannot, you are correct.”

Below the surface, beneath the leaves, branches, and trunk, we understand how the tree is nourished. The root structure is more elaborate and complex than the tree itself. This is true in our organizational cultures. The deeper we go below the surface, the deeper ingrained are the elements that feed into beliefs and behaviors. In those depths, lie the values, mental models, and perceptions that are so deeply ingrained that we are not even aware of them.

On Thursday, we will go to the deepest recesses of our cultures. Let me know your thoughts, comments, and questions. I love hearing from you!

With love,
Maria

Culture Creation – Part 2 of 4: The Stories We Tell

As the branches thicken, closer to the trunk, we think of the strength that stories carry within organizations. These stories can be stories of love, care, and pride in the organization’s accomplishments or they can be stories steeped in fear and told in ways that leverage fear and manipulation.

Stories told in organizations often become organizational legends. I remember working for a land developer when the CEO was flying in to visit us on his private jet with entourage in tow. A story that circulated among the staff was that he hated blue. Needless to say, none of us wore blue that day. I must admit that I found it odd that he “hated blue” since the company logo was a deep blue appearing on all of our signage, stationary, collateral material, and business cards. The legend was so strong and fear-based that not one of us tested the validity of the story.

Positive stories often depict the humble beginnings and dedicated work of early employees, shared year after year with the newer employees. To our prospective buyers, I would offer the story of how our company grew and showed them our wall of photos of communities that we had developed to “tell the story” of our company’s history. This form of storytelling instilled confidence in buyers that we had experience, integrity, and credibility. In fact, we called this space our credibility wall.

We also shared funny stories each year at the holiday party about humorous experiences we had with customers and with each other. Stories bond people together, connecting one another through shared experiences while meeting needs for belongingness and esteem.

On Tuesday, we will look at the bridge in our culture of the behaviors to our most deeply rooted values mental models and perceptions, the bridge of our beliefs. Don’t be shy, let me know your thoughts or questions!

With love,
Maria

Culture Creation – Part 1 of 4

One of the most popular questions I am asked is, “How do we create an organization like love-based leadership?” That is a big question! Love-based leadership begins with self-discovery, self-awareness, and self-growth; however, the organizational culture is a big part of this dynamic.

Because the organizational culture is so important, I am devoting the next four blog posts to taking a deep dive in understanding culture. This is a first for our Leadership Revolution A Call to Hearts blog—a four-part series! Let’s get right to it.

Like a tree, the culture of an organization has many interconnected components—each one linked to and vital to the growth of another. Three primary parts comprise the culture including behavior, beliefs, and values/assumptions/mental models which equate to the tree’s leaves/branches, trunk, and roots respectively.

When we look at the most visible feature of the tree, the leaves, we see the physical elements. These physical elements are the most superficial part of a culture. In organizations, the physical elements represent the actual physical spaces within the organizations. What do we see as we approach the outward vestiges of the organization? Is signage prominently and attractively displayed? Do you receive a warm greeting by the receptionist when you walk in? Is the building well kept or is it in disrepair? Other physical elements we notice are photos and signs on the walls, mission or vision statements proudly displayed, employee of the month plaques, the walls, windows, cubicles, volunteer thank-you plaques and trophies, gathering spaces and other physical clues.

The next element we notice is the language spoken. In any culture, a shared language brings people together and allows for efficient, quick communication. Often we notice a unique slang, acronyms, and industry-specific terms in organizations. I remember when I first entered the sales field and the staff referred to the next lead (person) who came in the door as an “up” which meant to get your butt up out of the chair and go sell to them!

Ceremonies, rituals, and routines are the next layer of culture. These elements are more substantive than the leaves as they are thicker and closer to the trunk. Organizations sometimes strategically plan ceremonies and rituals such as annual award dinners and employee or customer appreciation luncheons. However, routines and rituals of a less formal nature are just as solid and telling of a culture. In one organization where I worked, we always celebrated an employee birthday with a song and a cake. It was our tradition (ritual) that the guest of honor cut and serve the cake to all in attendance.

On Thursday, we will explore the power of stories in our organizations. Let me know your thoughts, comments, or questions.

With love,
Maria

Meaningful Leadership and "The Why"

Did you know the majority of heart attacks occur around nine on Monday mornings? “One study showed that the most common factor in these heart attacks was that the victims were people whose work had become joyless striving. In other words, they could not find meaning in their work, and their lives had become so out of balance that, one Monday morning, their bodies said, You are not going to work today. Zap.”

While we look for more meaning in our lives at work, home, and play, and until we begin to find that meaning, we are unsettled. Did you ever notice how challenges in our lives cause us to ask, Why? We ask, because we want to make sense of the situation. We want to understand the meaning behind the event, so we can move on. When we don’t find meaning, we become disillusioned, lack motivation, and find substitutes for meaningful experiences. Some of us choose substitutes that may be unhealthy or destructive. Some of us just go through the motions and become human doings instead of human beings. Some of us succumb to overwhelming stress when we believe we are living a meaningless life. Even worse, some of us just give up on life when we perceive our lives to lack meaning.

A few simple steps to start you on the path of self-discovery and meaning:  

1. The journey to leadership must start within. We need to go inward and allow reflection and introspection to develop our own leadership skills and qualities. Be still, turn off, unplug, and mute. Listen. Clear you mind of “to do” thoughts and just be still. Start with 5 minutes and work your way up.
2. Grab your journal or notebook and a pen. Don’t worry about what to write, and don’t bother with grammar, punctuation, or spelling. Just write whatever comes to you. You will see some patterns emerge and creative forces that have been dormant will come into your consciousness. I love journaling and value the clarity gained from this activity.
3. Do not to rush through this process. Allow yourself the opulence of transformation that occurs in your awakening. This is like reading a great book where you just want to soak up the story and don’t worry about the sentence structure.
4. Pause and linger on your words, feeling the emotions that arise as you write.
5. As you experience your inner signals of emotions and feelings, sit with them and reflect on what you have written and felt. As you experience these signals, ask yourself why, then why again, and still yet again. Dig as deep as you can and are willing to go. The grand prize awaits you in the profundity of awareness. I am always amazed at the clarity I experience with this exercise.

As always, I love hearing from you. What do you do to go inward?

With love,
Maria