Are You Afraid?

As a leadership coach, I am always excited when a powerful question or statement crosses my path or better yet, slams me in the face! Yesterday, I had such an encounter. Seth Godin got my attention when he stated, “If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader”. He was talking about the discomfort we sometimes feel as a leader and furthermore, when we identify the discomfort, we’ve found a place where leadership is needed. His list includes:

• Standing up in front of strangers
• Proposing an idea that may fail
• Challenging the status quo
• Resisting the urge to settle

I DO love those moments that move me out of my comfort zone and into what I call a “seat squirming” state. I know when I start squirming, I am onto to something, and that something is usually growth!

Of course, I also like to state things in a positive frame, so my list may look something like:

• Motivating people in the direction of a shared goal
• Creating and innovating with others, living in a synergy zone
• Thinking outside the box and trying something that “hasn’t been done before”
• Pushing myself and others to live in creativity and authenticity, even when it may be more work

My list not only feels good when I put it on, but it moves me beyond comfort to electric energy. What are your thoughts? Comfortable? Discomfort? What would you add to the list? As always, I truly appreciate your insight.

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Can You Relate?

A few years ago, I wrote a reflective piece entitled, “I Have Arrived.” The following is an excerpt from my book, Love-Based Leadership:

I’ve done it! I accomplished whatever Mom and Dad told me I could do! I have arrived.

As the first-born of a pre-baby-boomer couple, my parents always told me to do what makes me happy, and remember that I could accomplish anything. They supported my desire to pursue acting. They supported my desire to study sign language interpretation (I liked the dramatic flair), then they encouraged my business drive. My mother always had a career. She broke through many glass ceilings and earned great respect in her profession. She was my inspiration to break on through to the other side. I had arrived.

When I moved up in my organization, and took on more responsibility, I tripled my income over a nine-month period. In addition to the money, I earned respect and a place at the table with the men. Four men, and little ol’ me. I had a place at the table in a predominately all male industry. I had arrived.

I changed my wardrobe, hair, and personal style. After all, I was in senior management. I had arrived.

I worked 80 hours a week. I was dealing in hundreds of thousands of dollars daily. I was getting little sleep with the worry. Yet, I felt important and needed; the men in my organization had come to depend on me and my opinion. I had arrived.

I started to show symptoms of extreme stress. On my fortieth birthday, the doctor put me on blood pressure medicine and told me I needed to exercise more. I’d been working long hours and my eating habits were atrocious. Fast food eaten even faster became the norm. I took up smoking as a stress reliever (yes, I am an educated woman, and yes, I know the hazards of smoking). I had arrived.

One day, on my back patio after a long day at work, with a martini in one hand and a cigarette in the other, I had a thought, I have a place at the table. I have earned respect for my hard work and knowledge. I have an awesome six-figure income. I have everything the successful men have had for decades. I have 30 pounds of extra weight. I have a high-level position. I have a stressful job. I have a beautiful home. I have high blood pressure. I have a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Oh my god…I do have it all! I have arrived…

But just exactly, where am I going?

Have you arrived and do you know where you are going? Let’s design our path with intention!

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Energizer Bunny Leader

Health is underrated. We take the sensation of feeling good for granted, and that good enough feeling propels us to keep going beyond reason like the Energizer bunny. A. J. Reb Materi wisely observed, “So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.” Looking at health holistically, we must understand the importance of maintaining or reclaiming health in mind, body, and spirit.

Living a healthy lifestyle is one of self-care. I am not talking about bubble baths and pedicures—although both are great fun—I am talking about loving yourself first before you take care of others. This is especially challenging for many of my female clients, because we are nurturers and helpers by nature. However, helping and nurturing requires you have a source from which to extend. If you are empty, how can you give or help?

Remember, this is not a dress rehearsal. This is it! Live well.

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Social Responsibility Movement

Have you noticed the recent emphasis on social responsibility in our business culture? Consumers, employees, and leaders are demanding socially responsible behavior of themselves and others. If companies choose not to comply with our wishes, we go elsewhere—because we can.

We see social responsibility manifested in the philanthropic activities organizations are doing; and they are not just writing checks to non-profits. Companies are building schools, putting shoes on children, and teaching third-world countries how to harvest water. We have business models emerging with the primary purpose of serving others. Guess what? These businesses are making money! They have learned how to connect the heart with the bank account. A Course in Miracles tells us, “If you feel the love of God within you, you will look out on a world of mercy and of love.” That is exactly what some organizations are doing.

We also see the socially responsible movement in organizations manifested as the green movement. Entire global organizations are working their strategic plans to reduce their carbon footprint. Organizations are working with suppliers and manufacturers who share the same service and stewardship values. This is not just a fad or a trend, it is an awakening, a collective consciousness showing up and stepping forward. This collective voice is saying ENOUGH!

If not now, when?

It is time. Are you ready?

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Not all Power is Created Equal

Power is a hot topic. Not all power is equal. Bertram Raven and John French identified five different power bases: legitimate, coercive, expert, reward, and referent.

Legitimate power is the type of power that comes with a title or position. Coercive power is one that imposes force on others, like the king who threatens to behead those who disobey. Expert power is the type of power that comes with knowledge or information that someone else does not have. Reward power comes from bestowing upon someone something of value, and referent power is the power of respect. Like anything else in this world, all forms of power can be for the greater good or for selfish and egoic purpose.

While empowerment may make some leaders nervous, it also makes some followers uncomfortable. In Scenes from Corporate Life, Earl Shorris wrote, “Men who cannot conceive a happiness of their own accept a definition imposed upon them by others.” We have been taught for too long to let others define our thoughts, feelings, jobs, lives, and meaning for us. What to think, what to wear, how to feel—is it any wonder we get nervous when we receive permission or power to design aspects for ourselves?

As leaders, we must teach. We teach and show others how to stand in this power. We invite them in to learn, to grow, to create, and to commit to a purpose greater than our own. When we create and commit to the larger purpose, we seek the greater good. We become a community of we and our instead of me and mine.

What is your best empowerment experience? I love to hear from you.

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Love, Love, Love

Love of Self, Love of Source, and Love of Others (the love-based leadership model) all require love, trust, and commitment to growth and development in the workplace. If trust and love are not ever-present, then fear-based decisions will result. “For centuries the human species has been discovering that it is the creator of its own reality, making the discovery, and retreating from it in disappointment (because the wizard [referring to the Wizard of Oz story] is not what we expected) and in fear (because the freedom the discovery brings is unknown and terrifying).”1. Fear is powerful; so powerful that it alone creates a false reality of that which is feared in the first place. Victor Frankl illustrates, “It is characteristic of this fear that it produces precisely that of which the patient is afraid…the wish is father to the thought…the fear is mother to the event.”2. Once again, choice is everywhere, calling for a decision between choosing love to guide us or fear to guide us. “Man is not born slave or free, but creates himself as one or the other through free or voluntary action.”3.

Fear, again, holds us back from achieving so much. We are afraid to show that we care, afraid to open our hearts, and afraid that we may appear vulnerable. The irony in this is that when we really care about the individuals we lead, love multiplies. When people know, see, and feel that you care—they do the same. “Love really does keep on giving.”4.

With love,
Maria

1. Walter Truett Anderson, Reality Isn't What it Used to Be (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1990), p. 29.
2. Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning, p. 125
3. Madan Sarup, An Introduction Guide to Post-structuralism and Postmodernism (Athens, GA: University of Georgia Press, 1993), p. 18.
4. Lee G. Bolman and Terrence E. Deal, Leading with Soul, p. 88.

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

The Stories We Tell

Perceptions are the stories we tell ourselves regarding what we see and how we interpret the world around us. Les Brown, one of the great 21st century storytellers said, “How people live their lives is as a result of the stories that they believe about themselves,” What are your stories? Do they serve you as your aspire to reach your highest potential? Do your stories lift you up or do they bring you down? Do your stories represent who you really are, your true essence?

Let’s look at a possible story: If you greeted someone in the morning at work and he or she did not return your greeting, what would you think? Are they mad at you? Do you wonder all morning what you may have said to tick them off? Do you toss and turn that night because you fear that it was when you laughed too loudly at something they said two weeks ago that you thought was a joke, but it turned out it wasn’t? Or what if the answer is simply that they didn’t return your greeting because they didn’t hear you. Alternatively, perhaps they were distracted replaying a discussion they had with their teenager last night. What are the stories that you tell yourself? These skewed perceptions sabotage our relationships with others and our relationship with our self. If your stories no longer resonate with who you are, it is time to create a new story. Change your perception and you change your world.

The uncomplicated beauty in this lesson is that by standing in awareness and looking at our beliefs and thoughts, we can simply make a choice to keep them or release them. When we release those beliefs and thoughts that no longer serve us, we take back our power from fear to love, from negativity to positivity, from ego to Spirit. We see and understand perceptions and stand in our power to change those beliefs to experience miraculous shifts in our reality, lives, and work.

What story do you tell? Does is serve you or drain you?  Please share your insights!

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

What Were You Thinking?

Thoughts are powerful; they are the seeds of ideas, beliefs, creativity, attitudes, knowledge, wisdom, and reality. Thoughts can be our best friends or our worst enemies. Not by happenstance do thoughts come to us; these powerful seeds come to us through choice. Choice and thoughts are action movements, directed by us, whether we are conscious of these activities or not. The key lies in awareness of these two incredible gifts—thoughts, and choices.

Unconscious thoughts are just as powerful as thoughts steeped in awareness. Earl Nightingale, in The Strangest Secret, likened the mind to a fertile field with two planted seeds—one with corn and one with poisonous nightshade. Both seeds, watered and nurtured, grew—because to the field, the type of seeds planted did not matter.

Our minds are the same way, growing whatever our attention plants and nurtures. I saw a sign the other day that stated Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want. With the continued nurturing and care (attention) given to the seeds of worry, the source of worry will grow and become reality. That is how our minds work; we create our realities.

In Thoughts & Feelings, Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning identify fifteen key groups of disempowering perspectives: 

• Filtering – Focusing on the negative details of a situation and filtering out all positive aspects.
• Polarized Thinking – Seeing a situation as either good or bad, right, or wrong, perfect or a failure.
• Over-generalization – Making a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence.
• Mind Reading – Making assumptions about what people are feeling, why they are acting as they are, and how they feel about you.
• Catastrophizing – Assuming the worst possible outcome will happen.
• Personalization – Thinking that everything people do or say is a reaction to you.
• Control Fallacy – Thinking that you are responsible for everyone or everything around you.
• Fallacy of Fairness – Being resentful because you believe that everything in life should be fair.
• Emotional Reasoning – Believing that what you feel is the truth. For example, if you feel unwise, it means that you are unwise.
• Fallacy of Change – Believing that you can’t be happy unless you can change those around you to behave, believe, or think the way you want them to.
• Global Labeling – Generalizing one or two qualities into the negative global judgment.
• Blaming – Thinking that someone else causes everything negative in your life.
• Shoulds – You keep a list of rules about the way the world should operate and become angry or disappointed if others don’t follow your rules.
• Being Right – Going to any length to demonstrate your rightness because being wrong is terrible.
• Heaven’s Reward Fallacy – Feeling bitter when the rewards do not come that you think you deserve after working hard.

Awareness is the first step to disassembling disempowering thoughts. For today, be in awareness of your thoughts and please share your Aha moments!

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Leadership with Maslow in Mind – Part 1 of 2

Based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory, we can see how our basic and safety needs are met, just by having a job and a paycheck. The pay affords us the ability to meet our basic and safety-level needs.

The third tier, belongingness and/or social needs, are the connections with others we crave. Often, after a certain period of time on the new job, we seek relationships with those with whom we work. Going to lunch, taking coffee breaks with each other, or perhaps a cocktail after work are all ways in which we fill these belongingness needs. It is not unusual for someone to say they "hate the job, but love the people they work with".  This is an important sign for leaders to notice.  As soon as those employees get their social needs met outside of work...they are gone!

Our esteem needs are when we seek outside approval from others. We want to know we are valued and appreciated. Employees always remember leaders who are good at this. We often remember how we felt when someone said something to or about us, rather than the specific words uttered by the person. How we felt about those statements or actions has a much longer duration and more deeply affects us than the actual words. I remember while growing up I often heard my mother repeating one of her favorite mantras, “Actions speak louder than words.” How true mother, how very true! This is often the place that we lose “good people” at work, because they don’t feel valued and honored.

The highest level of needs Maslow presented was the need for self-actualization. This is where we seek, with a ferocious hunger to find meaning and purpose in what we do. OK, we may start a new job and begin the quest of the hierarchical pyramid all over again, but we will eventually be right back to this higher order of need. Meeting this need is the fulfillment of meaning. People leave organizations when they reach this need level because their work is not a conduit to their meaning-seeking behavior and need.

How can you leverage this knowledge in your leadership? As always, I love hearing from you.

Love and motivation,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Leadership with Maslow in Mind – Part 1 of 2

Abraham Maslow’s well-known and highly respected Hierarchy of Needs theory describes five level of needs. What does Maslow’s theory have to do with leadership?

If we do not understand peoples’ needs, we do not understand people. We will explore Maslow’s hierarchy and how it may helpful to us in this two-part series. Let’s look at the needs are in order of importance, beginning with the basic needs: 

1. Physiological needs – basic needs of air, food, water, shelter, sex, and relief and/or avoidance of pain.
2. Safety needs – after the basic needs are met, safety and security must be met.
3. Belongingness or Social needs – after safety needs are met, we want to feel connections with people.
4. Esteem needs – after social needs are met, we desire self-respect, status, and recognition for our accomplishments.
5. Self-Actualization needs – the highest level of needs is the development of our full potential. To achieve this sense of fulfillment, we seek to understand and grow, to find meaning in our work and our lives.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is based on three assumptions (a) only unmet needs motivate, (b) needs are hierarchical in nature, basic to complex, and (c) lower level needs must be met before moving to a higher-order need.

On Thursday, we will go into detail on specifically how these needs impact our ability to inspire, influence, and connect with those whom we lead.

Love and Success,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Leadership and the Nature of Balance

I know there is quite of bit of talk going around about balance. Unfortunately, the discussion only seems to pile on guilt because many of us are already aware that we are out of balance. The purpose of this post is not to engender guilt, but to help a miracle come into your life with awareness and practical strategies to regain order and balance.

Let’s look to nature for our lesson in balance. Nature teaches us about seasons. Our life also has seasons. Sometimes our seasons are busy, other times our seasons may offer renewal, and sometimes, our seasons may call for hibernation. Seasons do not go on forever—there is always a change of season. Listen and learn this lesson from nature: you cannot indefinitely go on at a frenetic pace by sheer adrenaline; it is unnatural and could be extremely dangerous to you.

Nature also teaches us that unless we shed the old way, we cannot begin anew. This is nature’s miracle—shifting. A caterpillar shifts to a butterfly, and the snake sheds its skin. We cannot move forward and look for something new if we don’t let go of the old; and we cannot experience the miracle of a different perspective or idea if we hold on to old and limiting beliefs.

We spend a lot of time in leadership and management seminars discussing how to prioritize. Many of us have handled this lesson fairly well at work; but we forget the idea of adding balance to this equation. Like the balance of seasons, we can work at a fast pace for a while, meeting deadlines and seizing opportunities. Without looking at the bigger picture, however, we could end-up spinning our wheels on the perceived priority and everything else goes to pot. That is where order comes into play. Without order, we will continue to drop things, even with our priority list.

Let’s use this time to “Spring Clean” and create order for this season of Spring.  Spring clean your mind of  limiting beliefs and your physical space of clutter. 

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Leadership Renewal

As we move into the season of Spring, a sense of wonder and renewal comes upon me. This is such a beautiful time of year, fresh with new beginnings and renewal. It is important for us, as leaders, to also take the time for renewal and reflection. Years ago, when I was in my doctoral program I wrote a poem of renewal and published it in my first book, Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance.

Here it is:

As a leader of renewal 
            I first dig. 
            Dig deep, 
            And deeper yet.
I first discover who I am 
            Who I truly am 
                        Authenticity.
Then I forgive.
Then I love.
Then I give.
I give to others for their renewal 
               Forgiveness 
                Love 
                Acceptance 
                And the permission to be authentic.
And then… I do it again.

As leaders, we have to give it, share it, mentor it, and grow it. It is love, knowledge, care, trust, love. As leaders, we have a responsibility to be students of those that went before us, stewards of our gifts and talents, and mentors to those that come after us. Our challenge is to go through our own inward journey, describe the lessons we’ve learned, and then return to teach those lessons to the next generation of leaders. We see this in nature and in the circle of life. Let us be renewed in our commitment to love of self, love of Source, and love of others.

Happy Spring!

With the renewal powers of love,
Maria

The Art of Leadership Storytelling

One of the most effective ways to teach is through storytelling. Nietzsche stated, “The more abstract the truth you wish to teach, the more you must allure the senses to it.” That is exactly what storytelling does; it allures the senses. Throughout history, the art of storytelling demonstrates this powerful technique used to teach. Aristotle, Plato, Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Rumi, Gibran, Hemmingway, Emerson, and even Bob Dylan and Smokey Robinson have allured us with their gifted storytelling. This form of teaching captures us through our feelings, connecting with us through our hearts. The emotional heart-tug we get with good stories heightens our attention and holds us captive. We are fully present in those captive moments of a great story, giving our undivided attention to the details. This technique presents an incredible opportunity for the learner to not only be present with full attention, but also to retain the information ready to call upon it when needed.

An ironic yet valuable benefit of storytelling is that the audience (the learner) is present in the moment of learning and the story helps us prepare for future use of the content. When we learn from stories, we learn how they may relate to us. This is a critical element to successful storytelling: the ability to relate. When we teach through stories, we are essentially saying, “When Ann experienced this event, she felt ___________, and when she did ___________, she was successful. So when you feel ___________, try as Ann did and ____________, because you too may be successful!” This mental process the learner experiences helps them to remember the story concept because they are relating it to themselves.

Follow these simple steps to practice the art of leadership storytelling:

1. Identify a story you believe to be a good one and see if you can find the six elements of effective storytelling.
2. Describe the main characters. Include yourself because when leaders are humble, open, and willing to share stories portraying themselves as human, it helps to connect with their team.
3. Portray the situation, challenge, or problem in detail. Explain what is at stake with the issue.
4. Reveal the characters’ intentions, thoughts, and feelings with the situation. Also, express what their thoughts are with potential outcomes and how they feel about what is at stake.
5. Explain the actions taken by the character, including the good, the bad, and the ugly. The more in-depth you are with the description of the actions, the more you may heighten the learner’s interest in the outcome.
6. Discuss the tools that the characters used to take action. Include which tools worked and which ones did not. Keep in mind that the tools may be thoughts, perspectives, strategies, and so forth.
7. Finally, share the outcome.

Feel free to share your stories with me!

Love,
Maria

The Teaching Leader

I love the Buddhist saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” In my many years of teaching formal courses at the university level, I am a student right along with the class I am teaching. When I teach, I learn. I have yet to teach a class where I have not learned something from my many teachers, also known as my students. We are ever changing in this world and the cycle of learning and teaching never changes, unless of course we find ourselves closed off from learning. In order to be a good teacher, we must first be a good student.

As we teach, we must remember that we are not transmitting information—we are transforming lives. That may sound a bit dramatic, but that is exactly what good teaching does; it transforms. Transformation comes about through many different forms: motivation, persuasion, mobilization, influence, and of course miracles. When we teach, we are in essence saying, I care about you, you are important, and I want to help. Wow, who wouldn’t be motivated forward with that type of message? Motivation also comes from demonstrating belief in others. Teaching affords us an opportunity to build esteem and self-efficacy. Think of Maslow’s needs hierarchy; esteem and self-actualization are the top highest levels. Teaching and learning meet both of the high order needs for yourself and for those you teach.

Through the process of teaching, we build trust when we facilitate teaching with a learner-centered approach. Remembering that we are not just transferring information, but transforming others, we teach according to the needs of others. I use the same approach when I do training, coaching, or motivational speaking. First, I discover the needs of the audience and tailor my work to meet those needs. Of course, I provide resources and information to support their transformation, but first I must find out where they are stuck and where they want to grow.

Effective teachers in a classroom setting know this and adjust their lesson plans to accommodate emerging needs that come up during instruction. We call these moments, teachable moments, when we can seize the opportunity and use it as a springboard for learning. A Native American proverb illustrates this concept, Tell me and I'll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I'll understand. Once we identify the needs of the people and address those needs, then learning occurs and the outcome is performance.

Remember this acronym:

Time - Take the time to invest in the development of others.
Empathy – Have empathy for those you teach, respecting the place they are in at that moment.
Awareness – Come into the teaching exchange with full awareness and presence.
Care – Create a safe space for learning to occur that is filled with care and compassion.
Help –Remember that when we serve others, we are truly love-based leaders.

How do you teach in your leadership roles? I love hearing from you.

With love,
Maria

Uncertain Leadership

We expect leaders, including ourselves, to have the answers. If we don’t have the answer to a leadership challenge, we may feel inadequate. These feelings, like inadequacy, may also include feelings of uncertainty and vulnerability. None of these feelings feel good to us, nor are allowed in the workplace, or so we’ve been taught.

Really? Are we really supposed to never experience uncertainty as a leader? We are human beings, “hard-wired for struggle” as researcher, Brene‘ Brown states. We are not the Hollywood version of leaders —we are human. And with our humanness, we are sometimes—make that many times, uncertain.

What do we do with this uncertainty? Well, we bury it of course. This strategy may work for us for a while, that is until it shows up again as illness, ulcers, or worse. Why do you think we are so stressed, obese, and addicted? It is because we bury and numb our feelings.

The interesting thing about numbing is that when we numb our “bad” feelings such as uncertainty, vulnerability, doubt, and fear, we are also numbing our “good” feelings of joy, peace, and gratitude.

Another important aspect to know about uncertainty and vulnerability is that this state is where creativity, joy, and beauty are found. Walking through the door of uncertainty and vulnerability is full of endless possibilities because this is the location of our true, authentic self.

How do we work with uncertainty and vulnerability without going crazy? Follow these five steps to support you during these times: 

1. Embrace uncertainty and vulnerability. Reach into it and pull up and out all of the fear, anxiety, and doubt. Burying and numbing will only allow it to surface again, so lean in, feel those feelings, and then release.
2. Stay present. Don’t worry about the future or live in the past. The only moment you have is the present one, so why waste it?
3. Stay in your own lane. When we start to compare ourselves to others, we set ourselves up for failure, not because we cannot be as successful as someone else can, but because we cannot be anyone else. What I can be is the best version of me, and what you can be is the best, highest self you can be.
4. Practice gratitude. Nothing else will bring you into the present faster than gratitude.
5. Be loving and truthful with yourself and with others.

Remember that uncertainty and vulnerability is the birthplace of truth, authenticity, creativity, and beauty. As always, I love to hear your thoughts.

With love and vulnerability,
Maria

The Hollywood Leader

Many models of leadership exist. A favorite of many, with massive buy-in is the Hollywood version of leadership. Our society has embraced and idolized a stereotype leader we see depicted in film, like the Lone Ranger. This type of leader is nearly omnipotent, strong, and able to handle almost everything that comes his (yes, his) way almost single-handedly. He has all of the answers and endless energy. In many organizations, we have come to expect this type of leader to lead and guide us through the hard times and reign in the good times. These leaders are expected to have strength, courage, valor, and vision.

This perception and expectation of leadership is harmful to both the leaders and the followers. It is unrealistic. Inevitably, the Hollywood leader in organizations, communities, and countries fail, leaving the followers disillusioned and fearful. The leaders in organizations that succumb to this model pay a hefty price of, isolation, stress, fear of failure, stress-related illness, or worse.

Why do we create these types of leaders literally and figuratively? Perhaps the answers lay in our fears and wanting to be rescued. So many of us grew up with the fantasy of fairy tales where we (females) were rescued by the handsome prince who led us out of adversity. We never got to know the rest of the story about the “leader’s” uncertainty or vulnerability. We never saw anything about the rescuer/leader below the surface.

Perhaps another answer to this question could be our instant-fix culture. We want it (whatever it may be) to be fixed NOW! We want instant food, photos, pain relief, escape, and reality. We want instant gratification, and we don’t necessarily want to work for it. By having the leader ride in on the white horse and save the day works much better for us…or so we think.

Please join me on Thursday where I will talk about leadership uncertainty and vulnerability—an answer to the Hollywood leader.

With love and no drama,
Maria

Learning and Leadership

“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.” ~ Albert Einstein

One of the most intelligent people of our time, Albert Einstein, knew that learning never stops. As a college professor and leadership coach, I have the distinct pleasure of witnessing learning at its best. I love working with people who recognize the importance of continued growth and development. Learning is a continuous journey—not a destination or arrival.

In a previous blog, I shared with you my freedom filing system. In this system, each day of the week is devoted to a specific theme. My favorite day is Wednesday, Education Day. I spend the entire day learning. Sometimes this learning is formal by participating in a class, and sometimes it is informal such as reading or watching an instructional video. The learning modality doesn’t really matter, as long as I am learning.

Luxuriating in my education day not only feeds my mind, it fuels my soul. This act of continuous learning is an action of loving myself and humbling myself with the knowledge that there is always room to learn and grow.

Growth continues with the next step that follows, which is action. We can have all the knowledge in the world, but without action, it is useless. The action is what moves me out of my comfort zone where true growth occurs.

No matter how uncomfortable I may be in my action and implementation, I know I will always come to another Wednesday for more treats – learning!

With love,
Maria

Wisdom Simplicity

I was recently asked, “What is wisdom?” That is one of those questions that stops me in my tracks. What a simple, yet complex answer. Because of my preference to err on the side of simplicity, I thought the answer to the question might certainly reside in simplicity. After all, as my friend Dorothy always says, “Simple is profound.”

Before we define wisdom, let’s first look at what it is not. Wisdom is not knowledge. Wisdom is not education. Wisdom is not experience.

Wisdom is circular. We receive it, put it out there, live it, and receive it again. Wisdom is not an achievement where we check the box and move on; it is not an arrival. We taste it and we know of it as we travel on the journey. Wisdom is definitely a process, and not one that is ever truly finished. In actuality, the more we learn, the more we learn that which we do not know. Socrates knew this when he said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” Enter—wisdom.

The simplicity in understanding wisdom, is that it is a combination of all three activities: knowledge, experience, and learning from those experiences. Wisdom, simply stated, is the combination of knowledge and experience.

We also know that our experiences go through the perceptual process. Wisdom brings those two aspects together and makes sense of the stimuli that we experience. While wisdom brings together two forms of external learning—knowledge and experience—it is a deeply internal process. Because it is so internal, reflective time is absolutely necessary in understanding and growing in wisdom.

Today, reflect on a recent experience in stillness. Begin with the process in your heard and slowly move the thought energy to your heart. Then listen with the profoundness and simplicity of wisdom.

With love,
Maria

Freedom Filing System

I love my new freedom filing system and just had to share it with you! As leaders of our lives and organizations, we often times feel overwhelmed and trapped. I experienced this when I worked for someone else and with my own company. As I listed in a previous blog, I recognize the “symptoms” of overwhelm and do not like the way it makes me feel!

My freedom filing system takes care of overwhelm and gives me back my freedom to think, focus, concentrate, and plan with clarity. I call it my “freedom filing system” because it provides me the right amount of structure to be free to create.

As CEO of my own company, I wear many hats. When I am creating new products or writing my books, I have a dark cloud of business correspondence or updating the books hanging over me, which impedes my ability to focus. Recognizing this, I took the following steps and you can too:

• List every category of activities I do throughout the week (product development, writing, education, marketing, meeting with clients, administrative, etc.)
• Group together activities, identifying a theme that makes sense (updating the website and following up with media contacts)
• Determine five categories and which day of the week it makes sense to complete those tasks. This activity creates theme days. For example, Monday is Product Development Day, and Tuesday is my writing day. If I am on a roll with writing product, I can easily carry over into Tuesday.
• Create files for each day of the week, with the theme for the day. Inside each folder, list the typical activities for that day (Marketing day: lead follow-up, web updates, media follow-up, etc.)
• Put all those loose papers into the appropriate folder. If there is an email that has an action item, I print the email and put it into the folder. This simple activity completely cleared my desk and mind. I no longer have to think about the to-do items as I know it is in my folder for that day to complete.
• At the end of each day, I pull my folder for the next day, review the activities associated with that theme and create my action list for the next day.
• Begin and end each day with 30 minutes to answer immediate correspondence.

I now have the freedom I craved because of this structure. How do you get out of overwhelm and what system are you using? I love to hear from you.

With love,
Maria

Get a Grip on Organization

I’ve always considered myself as an organized person, but I must admit that sometimes I get overwhelmed and lose control of my time and organization. In those times of overwhelm, I need to get a grip!

Very recently, I found myself in this space of needing to regain control of my time and organization. I realized that nearly every time I got to this place I experienced the same symptoms in my thoughts and behaviors. I feel: 

• Overwhelmed and find it difficult to concentrate.
• Unorganized and cannot find key files, papers, or other information.
• Paralyzed by uncertainty and just where to begin.
• Forgetful and miss deadlines or appointments.
• Unable to plan due to many, many dark clouds hanging over my head

These are telling signs that I need to get a grip on my organization. When I recognize these symptoms, I do the following simple steps to re-gain control over my life:  

• Write everything down that is in my head and hanging out in those dark clouds. When I do this, I create white space literally and figuratively.
• Determine and/or revamp my file system to capture notes, to-do action items, projects, and other information.
• Create a plan with timelines and stick to it.
• Celebrate the mini-successes!

The simple steps outlined above give me structure, which in turn gives me freedom! When I am free of clutter and dark clouds, I am able to concentrate, create, and plan. On Thursday, I will share with you my most recent file system, my Freedom Filing System.

With love and no overwhelm,
Maria