Shiny Object Syndrome

September 3, 2013 DrMaria

I sometimes find it easy to lose focus and become distracted — the shiny object syndrome.

Working with a client yesterday, she posed the question, “How do I move past the I won’t and/or I can’t thoughts to the I will intentions?

What a great question! I love the level of awareness required to recognize that our thoughts become our intentions – whether those thoughts serve and support us or derail and limit us. Our thoughts become our intentions and those intentions really do become our reality.

Bravo, for recognizing that simple, yet profound truth!

Here is a very simple three-step quickening exercise you can do to move your thoughts and actions from “I won’t/I can’t” to “I will”:

Set your intention or goal as simply and distinctly as possible.
When something comes up (a shiny object), just simply ask yourself, “Does this support my intention or goal?”
If the answer is yes, move forward. If the answer is no, dismiss it and get back to I will so you can realize your intention and goal.

Really, it is that simple; however, I must warn you—the results you will experience will be profound!

With love,
Maria

Your Way Out of Conflict

August 29, 2013 DrMaria

Like presence, when we fully connect with those with whom we are communicating, when we find common ground, we come together. Our ability to find common ground is easy when you combine presence, power listening, and perception shifting, with intuition.

Discover shared values, shared objectives, shared goals, and/or a shared vision. You are now on your way to discovering the true issue of the conflict. This clarity creates a shifted environment to now empathize with this person, which will move you into a collaborative vibe.

Once you’ve determined the true issue, now together, you can create a shared vision of collaboration…a plan to move forward. Remember as you create your plan of collaboration, apply the four actions of presence, power listening, perception shifting, and intuition, while always staying focused on common ground.

When you create your plan of collaboratively moving forward, remember to include follow-up, keeping the lines of communication open, demonstrating your commitment to improvement, and always be gracious—thanking the person for bringing this issue to your attention. Shoot for always ending the conversation on a positive note.

With love,
Maria

Great Leaders are Full

August 27, 2013 DrMaria

Great leaders, who communicate and connect, fill their minds with the person in front of them. We feel this connection when others are fully engaged in what we are saying. We see it in their eyes, we feel it energetically, we know we are connected and drawn to that person and the moment. Presence is mindfulness. Mindfulness is found in the present, and when you are present, you show up.

When we find this connection with others through mindfulness, we gain a deeper understanding of each other and of ourselves. Of course when we do, we are mind-full of their presence in the moment. We also understand ourselves better when we connect with others. It is not unusual with this deep union of souls, to see ourselves in those people with whom we feel connected. In a mindful state, empathy, connection, compassion, and equality surface to our consciousness. We see and feel each other as the same, without division and without judgment—we feel love.

Not only is a mindful practice one that provides clarity, vision, connection, and beauty, but being present in the moment also confers peace of mind. Living in mindfulness is living in peace. This is especially relevant in our current culture plagued with chaos, competition, rage, and fear.

How do you know when you've really been heard?

With love and attention,
Maria

The Beauty of Complaints

August 22, 2013 DrMaria

So often, when we hear the word, complain, those of us who have worked in customer service bristle! However, complaints are not always a bad thing – sometimes complaints can be quite valuable. When we shift our perceptions from negativity to a positive frame, we may actually welcome complaints…well, sometimes!

Complaints can be beneficial because:

Complaints can give you information you may not otherwise have. Sometimes we can’t see the forest through the trees, in other words, we may be too close to the situation to see problems or issues.
When we receive complaints, we receive information. Let’s face it; often times some information is better than no information. When people take the time out to complain, that means at some level they care! If they were complacent or indifferent about you or your organization, they would say nothing.
If the complaint doesn’t come to you, it doesn’t mean the complaint is not being shared with someone else…perhaps shared with someone else with whom they are now doing business!
The complaint gives you an opportunity to correct the situation. Contrary to popular belief, ignorance is not bliss.

Think about this: When people do share a complaint with you, they are actually saying:


I value this relationship.
I hope to continue this relationship.
I am presenting this problem to you because I care.
I know you can fix this.

What are you thoughts about complaints?

With love,
Maria

Laughter is Underrated

August 20, 2013 DrMaria

Laughter is completely underrated. Laughter is our heart’s outpouring of love. We know laughter is contagious, yet it is powerful medicine. Leadership use of laughter is like a power-charged tool with many uses.

One of the most compelling benefits of laughter is shared, joyous connection. Comedian Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” He is right; laughter connects us at deep level, which is why it is so contagious. Laughter moves beyond the superficiality of words right to our souls, moving all pretense and guard aside.

I’m always amazed at the extreme power of laughter; people laughing just in response to someone else’s laughter. I remember a time when my husband, daughter, and I were watching a silly movie. The premise was a bit far-fetched, but we liked the actor, Bill Murray, in the film. He inherited a circus elephant and wanted to take it across country to sell it to a zoo. In one scene, he was driving an 18-wheeler, which he did not know how to drive, with the elephant in the trailer. In the cab, he had several boxes of candy that he was feeding to the elephant, since he didn’t know what else to feed the animal and of course he experienced one series of hysterical mishaps after another!

I laughed so hard—it was one of the funniest scenes I ever saw! What was even funnier was how hard my husband and daughter were laughing at my reaction. They did not find the scene as hysterical as I did, but my deep belly, soulful laughter was so contagious that all three of us were rolling on the floor, in tears. Laughter goes to the core, infecting those within its path.

When was the last time you had a good, deep belly laugh? As always, I love hearing your stories!

With love and laughter,
Maria

De-Compartmentalized Leading and Living

August 15, 2013 DrMaria

When we neglect to look at the whole person, especially the spiritual dimension, we overlook a strong and powerful resource. Our spirituality grows in wisdom, and it is in wisdom that the world’s most powerful resource is used. “Life and livelihood ought not be separated, but to flow from the same source, which is Spirit, for both life and livelihood are about Spirit. Spirit means life, and both life and livelihood are about living in depth, living with meaning, purpose, joy, and a sense of contribution to the greater community. A spirituality of work is about bringing life and livelihood back together again. And spirit with them.”1

We cannot compartmentalize our spirit; it is like compartmentalizing our breathing from our brain: impossible. In a study of spirituality in the workplace, Mitroff and Denton found that, “People do not want to compartmentalize or fragment their lives. The search for meaning, purpose, wholeness, and integration is a constant never-ending task. To confine this search to one day a week or after hours violates people’s basic sense of integrity, of being whole persons. In short, soul is not something one leaves at home.”2

How have you managed to de-compartmentalize your life?
Love,
Maria

1. Matthew Fox, The Reinvention of Work, pp. 1-2.
2. Ian I. Mitroff and Elizabeth A. Denton, A Spiritual Audit of Corporate America (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1999), pp. xv-xvi.

Leadership Choices Today are Tomorrow’s Results

August 13, 2013 DrMaria

“Yesterday was the birth of today. Today is the birthplace of tomorrow.” ~ Marvin Gaye

Marvin Gaye spoke those words at the Motown 25th Reunion show that aired on television in 1983. Simple words with a profound message.

Today, many of our organizations are spiritually bankrupt, halls walked by zombies, the living dead. The grim reaper has become the human resources director handing out yet another layoff notice, or the boss giving you yet another task because someone else has left the company. Too many organizations discourage deeper forms of communication, emotions, and intimacy, opting instead for superficiality.

If we continue down this path, the same path that got us here, we are doomed to fail. Boleman and Deal stated in Leading with Soul, “Spiritual bankruptcy ultimately leads to economic failure. The deeper cost is creating a world in which everything has a function yet nothing has any meaning.”

Life gives us many opportunities to learn lessons and if we fail to learn them the first time, we get the opportunity to experience the lessons again and again until we learn them. George Bernard Shaw wrote, “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” If we want progress, abundance, and new way of life then, we must as Gandhi stated, “Be the change we wish to see in the world.” Instead of following a path full of limitations, let’s construct a path illuminated with choice and abundance.

Are you in?

With love,
Maria

Processes, People, and Grace

August 8, 2013 DrMaria

There are many leadership books that talk about processes and policies. “The tragedy of our time is that we’ve got it backwards. We’ve learned to love techniques and use people. This is one of the reasons more and more people feel alienated, empty, and dehumanized at work. Many organizations today would be surprised at how much more people would be willing to give of themselves if only they felt loved.”1 Organizational leaders have been serving the processes and the policies, not the people.

As the Rev. Dr. King, Jr. said, we need a heart full of grace. Grace is found in love. Grace is the knowledge that you’ve been blessed, and so you respond by giving freely to others. Grace personifies elegance, politeness, and generosity of spirit. Our generosity of spirit is shared in an Love-Based Leadership organization. An organization steeped in love, is an organization steeped in grace.

How do you see grace manifested in the workplace? As always, I love hearing from you.

With love,
Maria

Freiberg, Kevin, and Jackie Freiberg. Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success. New York: Broadway Books, 1998.

LUV and Manufacturing

August 6, 2013 DrMaria

Two of my favorite examples of Love-Based Leadership (LBL) in action include Southwest Airlines and Semco.

Southwest Airlines has demonstrated repeatedly that a holistic, loving focus (they are the “LUV” airline!) has brought abundance and meaning to their leaders and employees. They learned that when employees are trusted to make decisions, and when they have ownership of their work, they often come up with better solutions than those the company could have found. They responded much quicker to customers’ demands and the employees directed their energy toward innovation, seizing unique and creative market opportunities at critical times. “The Southwest story demonstrates over and over that people will act responsibly and do more than expected when they are given the freedom to think on their own.”1

The manufacturing company, Semco, demonstrated great love for their employees with the change from the traditional models of doing business to an organizational culture that honored and respected their people. As Ricardo Semler, CEO put it, “To survive in modern times, a company must have an organizational structure that accepts change as it basic premise, lets tribal customs thrive, and fosters a power that is derived from respect, not rules. In other words, the successful companies will be the ones that put quality of life first. Do this and the rest—quality of product, productivity of workers, profits for all—will follow.”2

What LBL organizations do you know of and how do they demonstrate LBL?

With love,
Maria

1. Freiberg, Kevin, and Jackie Freiberg. Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success. New York: Broadway Books, 1998.
2.0Semler, Ricardo. Maverick: The Success Story Behind the World’s Most Unusual Workplace. New York: Warner Books, 1993.

Fear-Based Leadership Vision Statement

August 1, 2013 DrMaria

Fear-based leadership exists, but can easily be erased.

Remember that both fear and love cannot be present at the same time.

Love-Based Leadership (LBL) doesn’t look like fear, doesn’t smell like fear, and doesn’t walk like fear. Perfect love drives out all fear. LBL doesn’t just proclaim that people are important because it says so on the mission statement posted on the wall. LBL leaders do not say one thing and do another.

An organization where LBL is not practiced is secretive: a fertile ground for non-truth. An organization without LBL is steeped in office politics and scarcity thinking—the fear that resources are limited and everyone is out to get yours. Information is not shared, rather, it is hoarded. There is no sign of spirit or energy.

The focus and vision of organizations where LBL is not practiced (a fear-based organization) could read:

We recognize there is only a limited amount of (money, people, projects, resources) and we will do anything to make sure we’ve got most, if not all of it (money, people, etc.). We tell our people they are important and they believe us because they are incapable of making any decisions on their own. We are the best because we said so.

What do you think a Love-Based Leadership vision statement would say?

As always, I love hearing your perspective.

With love,
Maria

Wakeup Call!

July 30, 2013 DrMaria

When sleeping women wake, mountains move. ~ Chinese proverb

I love the power of this statement. I would like to expand it to read, “When sleeping people wake, mountains move.”

The most obvious interpretation of this is when we get into our day with focused attention; we get a lot of work done.

But ahhh, as we know, Chinese proverbs go much deeper, and so do I, so let’s get right to it!

When we “wake up” from unconsciousness, we move obstacles and barriers to love – also known as fear and ego. Our fear and ego sometimes feels like mountains. The only way to “move” the mountains is to eliminate the fear and ego with the supreme power of love.

We can only know the truth of love with consciousness.

It is time to set the alarm – this is a wakeup call! Good morning mountain movers.

What practices do you do to stay “awake” and conscious? I always love to hear from you and sharing your insight.

With love from your fellow mountain mover,
Maria

Better Late Than Never

July 25, 2013 DrMaria

Several years ago, I had a tremendous learning experience regarding forgiveness.

My mentor, a consultant hired by our corporate office specifically to mentor me for one year, leveraged the difficulty in the relationship I had with our division general manager to his advantage. By indicating that he was still needed beyond his contract (due to the strained relationship between the division general manager and me), he prolonged his lucrative consultant income for another two years.

I was eventually relieved of my managerial role and the consultant continued his monthly visits to manage and lead my department. I was hurt and resentful. I became exhausted carrying this load of pain and then I finally realized that holding this anger was not honoring or serving anyone, least of all, me.

After reconnecting with my spirit, I knew that I had to forgive him. The next time he was in town, I apologized for my behavior and told him that I forgave him for his part in reinforcing the wedge between the divisional general manager and me.

The immediate sensation I had was lightness. I could hardly believe how physically light I felt, and I remember holding on to the edge of the desk as it felt like I was going to float away. I was nearly giddy with delight and wondered what had taken me so long to get there.

What is keeping you from forgiving someone or yourself? The weight and burden are only hurting you. Free yourself with the amazing gift of forgiveness.

Better late, than never…

With love,
Maria

Do You Have Ba?

July 23, 2013 DrMaria

Innovation and knowledge creation are extremely important in today’s global marketplace. Many organizations thrive on innovative ideas and others struggle with creating new knowledge and innovative goods and services. What is the key to knowledge creation?

According to two Japanese researchers, Ikujiro Nonaka and Toshihiro Nishiguchi, organizations must have ba present in the organizational space for knowledge creation to occur. Ba, loosely defined, is an energy by which knowledge and innovation are created.

In order for ba to exist, the organizational culture must have love, care, trust, and compassion. These four elements are absolutely necessary for knowledge creation.

Does love, care, trust, and compassion exist in your organization? If not, why not? What can you do to shift the energy, to invite ba in? Remember, as Gandhi stated, “We must be the change we wish to see”. Let’s bring love, care, trust, and compassion back into our work, and back into our lives.

With love and ba,
Maria

Soul Stirring

July 18, 2013 DrMaria

I love today’s dialogue of finding meaning and purpose. Listening to and honoring your heart’s call honors your soul, your core, and your very essence. When we are aligned with our soul, with our spirit, we are authentic, abundant, and at peace. Meaning is not a destination, but a way of life, like the air we breathe. There is no better way to achieve well being and love for ourselves than aligning with our spirit.

When we do not care for our souls, we end up with what Albert Schweitzer referred to as, “A sleeping sickness of the soul. Its symptoms are loss of seriousness, enthusiasm, and zest. When we live superficially, pursue no goals deeper than material success, and never stop to listen to our inner voices, we stunt our spiritual development.” How do you develop your spirit? Spiritual growth and development manifest through inspiration. Do what you love and you’ll find that you love what you do. Music, art, nature, and literature are a few of the paths for inspiration.

What stirs your soul?

With love and a whole lot of stirring going on,
Maria

Prayer, Meditation and Leadership?

July 16, 2013 DrMaria

What in the world, do these three things have in common?

Everything.

As leaders, we have a responsibility to lead and inspire with clarity. In our busy world, we often don’t take the time to just think and get really clear about the vision and more importantly, the path, systems, and steps necessary to realize the vision.

And even worse, we think we have to get there on our own.

Well, the good news is that we are not on our own.

Prayer and meditation are ways we connect with our Source. Stillness and silence are also paths to feeling that connection with the Universe. French philosopher and scientist Blaise Pascal stated, “All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.”

Through stillness, we obtain clarity. When we have clarity, we have time gained. Time gained comes to us because we have a clearer picture of the problem or dilemma and see an unobstructed path to follow.

I cannot think of a more cost efficient use of time. The return on investment with time spent in silence with our Source is abundance beyond our wildest dreams.

As always, I love hearing your thoughts.

With love,
Maria

Tell the Truth

July 11, 2013 DrMaria

We must learn to honor ourselves with truth. By being honest with ourselves and not allowing others’ non-truths into our psyche, we acknowledge that we love and respect ourselves.

By respecting ourselves, we don’t accept other’s false realities. Iyanla Vanzant recognized that, for most of us, it isn’t difficult to tell when someone isn’t being truthful with us; the challenge is how to call them on their non-truth. She suggested we reply, “While that may sound truthful to you, it doesn’t feel truthful to me.”

What a great line! When we are truthful with ourselves, we remember our divine nature and we do not let anyone treat us with a lack of respect or dignity.

What are your thoughts about truth telling and truth receiving?

With love,
Maria

Micromanagement is a Four-Letter Word

July 9, 2013 DrMaria

Micromanagement is really just FEAR-Management.

In the workplace, fear-based leadership is manifested in a number of ways. We see fear in leadership when employers do not trust the employees to do the jobs for which they were hired. Many managers are fearful of losing control, resulting in micromanagement. Micromanagement is a classic display of fear.

I once had a student challenge me when we were discussing micromanagement in class. He thought the concept was exaggerated. I then shared with him an experience I had while working with a homebuilder. We were opening up a new community in a different state than our corporate headquarters. After we selected a mailbox and a holiday green color (the same color as the community logo), management asked that we paint the mailbox we selected using the exact same green paint and then ship it back to corporate headquarters for the company president to approve the mailbox and paint color!

What are your worst micromanagement stories?

With love,
Maria

Let Freedom Ring

July 4, 2013 DrMaria

Happy Independence Day to all of my fellow Americans!

Today is a day that we celebrate life’s freedom with gratitude. I have a very long list of life’s freedoms for which I am grateful. Topping that list is my ability to make choices.

And we always can make a choice…always!

Dr. Viktor Frankl, one of my greatest mentors, was a brilliant psychiatrist captured by the Nazis and imprisoned in a series of concentration camps. His notes of his work and all of his possessions were seized. Stripped of everything, literally and figuratively, he was given a number to replace his name. “The experience of camp life shows that man does have a choice of action,” Frankl stated in Man’s Search for Meaning, “Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.” Dr. Frankl realized this truth when he wrote, “What alone remains is ‘the last of human freedoms’—the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.”

Those are very wise and applicable words then, and today. When we place ourselves in a victim role, we are victims. We do create our own realities. However, we have a choice in how that reality looks, as co-creators. We can choose to create a different perception, a different reality.

Let freedom ring!

With love,
Maria

The Bull S#%T About Power

July 2, 2013 DrMaria

Let’s break open the lid on the belief that power must be kept tightly in order to be effective – BULL S#%T!

Power, like abundance and love, multiplies when you give it away.

That is why I cannot understand why leaders are so afraid to share power and empower others.

Power multiples when you give it away – really!

Boleman and Deal wrote in Leading with Soul, “When people have a sense of efficacy and an ability to influence their world, they usually seek to be more productive. They direct their energy and intelligence toward making a contribution rather than obstructing progress or destroying their enemies.” At Saturn automobile factories, employees are empowered to stop the assembly line any time they see something wrong. The employees have pride and ownership in their product and they are the quality control.

Another benefit of shared power is the reduction in conflict. We often suppress our feelings when we feel powerless. When this happens, our anger can only be contained for so long, then the conflict and anger comes spewing out, often times in a rage. Empowered people empower others. In a Love-Based Leadership organization, shared power equals shared ownership. You cannot have one without the other.

Have you empowered someone today? If not, what is holding you back?

With love,
Maria

You are Branded!

June 27, 2013 DrMaria

Branding and image consulting are terms we’ve no doubt heard, typically in the context of marketing. Have you thought about your brand? No, I am not talking about the company for which you work—I am talking about YOU!

What is your brand, your leadership image? Are you respected because you’ve earned it or are you feared because of your title? What is the first thing your people think about when your name comes up?

Some of us may say that we don’t care about what others think about me. Really, is that really true?

As leaders, our primary task is to motivate and influence others toward a vision and/or goal. If others are not buying our brand, then we don’t really have followers.

How can we consciously create our leadership brand? Follow these 5 simple steps:

Intentionally determine what you want your brand to represent.
Reverse engineer the steps necessary to develop and create that brand image.
Be accountable to doing the work – find an accountability partner or coach who will be honest about your progress and a resource when you are stuck.
Be vulnerable and do spot checks with others to see if you are on the right track (in other words—ask!).
Celebrate your successes along the way.

For more information on image, check out this previous blog post, Leadership Impression.

Please share your progress and aha’s! I love hearing from you.

Love,
Maria