As the branches thicken, closer to the trunk, we think of the strength that stories carry within organizations. These stories can be stories of love, care, and pride in the organization’s accomplishments or they can be stories steeped in fear and told in ways that leverage fear and manipulation.
Stories told in organizations often become organizational legends. I remember working for a land developer when the CEO was flying in to visit us on his private jet with entourage in tow. A story that circulated among the staff was that he hated blue. Needless to say, none of us wore blue that day. I must admit that I found it odd that he “hated blue” since the company logo was a deep blue appearing on all of our signage, stationary, collateral material, and business cards. The legend was so strong and fear-based that not one of us tested the validity of the story.
Positive stories often depict the humble beginnings and dedicated work of early employees, shared year after year with the newer employees. To our prospective buyers, I would offer the story of how our company grew and showed them our wall of photos of communities that we had developed to “tell the story” of our company’s history. This form of storytelling instilled confidence in buyers that we had experience, integrity, and credibility. In fact, we called this space our credibility wall.
We also shared funny stories each year at the holiday party about humorous experiences we had with customers and with each other. Stories bond people together, connecting one another through shared experiences while meeting needs for belongingness and esteem.
On Tuesday, we will look at the bridge in our culture of the behaviors to our most deeply rooted values mental models and perceptions, the bridge of our beliefs. Don’t be shy, let me know your thoughts or questions!
With love,
Maria
Culture Creation – Part 1 of 4
One of the most popular questions I am asked is, “How do we create an organization like love-based leadership?” That is a big question! Love-based leadership begins with self-discovery, self-awareness, and self-growth; however, the organizational culture is a big part of this dynamic.
Because the organizational culture is so important, I am devoting the next four blog posts to taking a deep dive in understanding culture. This is a first for our Leadership Revolution A Call to Hearts blog—a four-part series! Let’s get right to it. 
Like a tree, the culture of an organization has many interconnected components—each one linked to and vital to the growth of another. Three primary parts comprise the culture including behavior, beliefs, and values/assumptions/mental models which equate to the tree’s leaves/branches, trunk, and roots respectively.
When we look at the most visible feature of the tree, the leaves, we see the physical elements. These physical elements are the most superficial part of a culture. In organizations, the physical elements represent the actual physical spaces within the organizations. What do we see as we approach the outward vestiges of the organization? Is signage prominently and attractively displayed? Do you receive a warm greeting by the receptionist when you walk in? Is the building well kept or is it in disrepair? Other physical elements we notice are photos and signs on the walls, mission or vision statements proudly displayed, employee of the month plaques, the walls, windows, cubicles, volunteer thank-you plaques and trophies, gathering spaces and other physical clues.
The next element we notice is the language spoken. In any culture, a shared language brings people together and allows for efficient, quick communication. Often we notice a unique slang, acronyms, and industry-specific terms in organizations. I remember when I first entered the sales field and the staff referred to the next lead (person) who came in the door as an “up” which meant to get your butt up out of the chair and go sell to them!
Ceremonies, rituals, and routines are the next layer of culture. These elements are more substantive than the leaves as they are thicker and closer to the trunk. Organizations sometimes strategically plan ceremonies and rituals such as annual award dinners and employee or customer appreciation luncheons. However, routines and rituals of a less formal nature are just as solid and telling of a culture. In one organization where I worked, we always celebrated an employee birthday with a song and a cake. It was our tradition (ritual) that the guest of honor cut and serve the cake to all in attendance.
On Thursday, we will explore the power of stories in our organizations. Let me know your thoughts, comments, or questions.
With love,
Maria
Professionalism, Leadership & Love
Ahhh, the month of love.
In this month, many of us have love on the mind. Being an advocate of love myself, I too, find myself daydreaming of how grand the gift of love is in my life. Imagine for a moment, if we could harness the love we feel and translate that into our leadership. Now of course, I am not talking about romantic love. I am talking about universal love; the love we feel as one human to another. This love is honoring, valuing, and respecting each other. This is a love of Namaste, honoring the spirit of another. 
As leaders, we are taught to de-compartmentalize a love such as this. We are taught to remove ourselves from any emotion (including love) and be “professional” as if being professional makes us non-human or even worse, super-human. This practice, and many of us have gotten this concept down good, has propelled us in our careers, but also has left us empty.
Emotional intelligence teaches us to recognize our emotions and manage them in healthy ways. Managing our emotions does not mean shoving them down and ignoring them. We know from experience this only gives our emotions time to grow and mutate into emotions that are exaggerated, misdirected, and sometimes manifest in disease and illness.
Being professional does not need to mean being distant, aloof, uncaring, and impersonal. We are in a world of transition and change. We are in a world where many of us are creating new models for living. In this spirit and in the spirit of love, let’s create a new professionalism. Let's create a professionalism that stands for something powerful, serving, supportive, and love-filled.
I am thinking a new professionalism looks like this:
Present
Reflective
Open-minded
Free
Empathetic
Service-minded
Source-connected
Inclusive
Openhearted
Non-judgmental
Aligned with values
Loving
How would you create a new professionalism?
With love,
Maria
Keepin It Real
I recently conducted some market research to learn from leaders how I can best support their leadership growth and development. I asked a series of questions and received great responses, food for thought, and feedback. A quick thank you to all who participated!
When I spoke with a man in the military, he said one of the most important aspects he looks for in leadership is “keepin it real”. OK, he is quite a bit younger than I am! However, this message is ageless and timeless.
Most of us have a pretty good B.S. meter and can smell fake a mile away. This is especially important to us, as
leaders, to tap into truth and stand in our authenticity. When we stand in authenticity, we stand in power. THAT is what makes us powerful leaders – authenticity.
And let’s face it; there is nothing more authentic or real than love.
When we lead with love and authenticity, we practice: 
What “reads” authentic to you? How would you describe an authentic leader, one who is keepin it real?
As always, I love hearing from you.
Keepin in real,
Maria
Just Ask
As leaders, we often buy into the perception (more likely than not, self-imposed perception) that we must know the answers, be strong, and just like the Energizer bunny, keep going, going, and going.
Enough already!
As leaders, the most important lesson we can model and teach others is that we are human. 
As humans and leaders, we do not always have the answers. This requires us to fess up and be honest. Big deal, we don’t have the answer. The difference between leaders and non-leaders is that we will find the answer…whatever it takes, we will find out. This may require us to do some research or ask someone else, who may have the answer. We may also need to tap into our intuition for inner wisdom to solve the surface question. And, my favorite resource of all, ask your Source, who is always available 24/7, always honest, and always right on target.
The perception that leaders are always strong is like saying it is always sunny. Just as nature has beautifully shown us, there are seasons to life. As living, breathing human beings, we too, have seasons. Our strength does not come by us always standing, our strength is our ability to get up again after we fall. Sometimes, this requires us to ask for help. The beautiful benefit of our asking is that the helper receives a gift too, by serving. This is a win-win exchange. It can’t get much better than that!
We cannot keep going, going, going. This is unrealistic and quite frankly, dangerous to our physical body, emotional health, and spiritual growth. We are not super-human, so we must stop pretending to be…it is killing us! We need to learn to ask for re-charge time and then take it! Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you.
What is the most challenging thing for you to ask? As always, I love to hear from you.
Abundant blessings,
Maria
Our Collective Dream
Yesterday, in the United States, we celebrated the great Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.—his life, his work, and his love. He was a master orator, motivator, teacher, and a true love-based leader.
His most famous speech, “I Have a Dream” inspired us toward action for equality, justice, and love.
I have a dream, too. In fact, I am sure you too, have a dream... and I venture to guess that it is similar to my dream…a collective dream. That dream is the radical, necessary, ubiquitous dream of shifting from a world steeped in fear, to a love-based world.
Following are some inspiring words from Dr. King and a great lesson in leadership:
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Remember, it ALWAYS comes back to love, so why not just start with love?
“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” As leaders, we must step out and up on faith, because what else do we REALLY have?
“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.” The time is NOW to return to our spiritual compass, guidance, and Source.
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” Again, simply, LOVE.
“A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.” Stand firm, erect in your power, and do not succumb to the fear of victimhood.
“All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.” The call of a love-based leader…to serve others.
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Love-based leaders continue to grow, learn, and live in wisdom.
“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” Forgiveness, to give it and receive it is the POWER of LOVE.
“History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.” Speak up and out; show up and lead.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” DO NOT die with the song of passion still in you.
“The time is always right to do what is right.” … and the time is always right to love.
Blessings and love to you my friends...viva the leadership revolution,
Maria
Making Circle Changes
When we think about our circle, the people around us with whom we spend our time, we may find that we need to make some changes.
If you find yourself surrounded by people who do not treat you well, it may be a reflection of how you treat yourself. Ouch! I know this is difficult for some of us to hear, but the truth is that our outward reality is a reflection of what is happening internally. 
When we stand in that power, bathed by authenticity and love, we begin to radiate that energy outward. Initially, those who have treated us poorly may rear-up and lay it on thick to get the same old response from you. However, when you stand firm in truth, authenticity, and love, those people will back down or leave your circle.
This is what setting boundaries is all about – loving, honoring, respecting, and valuing yourself in truth and authenticity. By your behaviors, actions, and attitudes, you tell the world how loved and blessed you are.
Then…an amazing phenomenon happens…you start attracting people to you that also love, honor, respect, and value you!
As always, the choice is yours.
Be blessed.
With love, honor, and respect,
Maria
Your Circle
Jim Rohn, the great businessman and motivational leader stated, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” What does this say about us? 
When we think about this statement, we may immediately go to the literal, physical people in our circle. This concept is realized when we start taking on new patterns in our speech, behaviors, and mannerisms. Have you ever noticed someone in your circle saying a new expression or demonstrating a different laugh? You realize very quickly exactly where they picked that up when you meet their friend or colleague and you hear the same inflection, term, or laugh. We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
What makes up our time with these five people in our circle? Do we spend the day criticizing and gossiping? Are we sharing ideas; are we planting seeds of fear and destruction? Are we raising others up, nurturing minds, bodies, and spirits? Do we spend time with our five learning, growing, expanding? The choice, as always, is yours.
I love being alive at this time in history. I can spend time with many of the great thought leaders—dead or alive by connecting with these people through technology. I can pop in a CD, DVD, or plug into my iPad and watch or listen to a lecture, presentation, or audio book and hear these mentors and teachers anytime I want! I can CHOOSE my circle of five and never leave my home or office…so can you. We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
Let’s be mindful with whom we choose to spend our time with, and our minds and time will be filled with wonder.
With love,
Maria
Stepping Up and Out
We have so much we want to do and accomplish as leaders. We dream, create, plan, review, plan some more, and tweak, tweak, tweak. Is this perfectionism or is this fear; and really, aren’t they both the same?
Sometimes, we stand behind all of these activities to legitimately stay busy. However, these activities keep us behind the computer. There comes a time (probably now) that we need to step out from behind the computer and into the world of personal interaction. When we step out, then, we can really leave impressions, teaching, help, and love with those we met. 
Challenge yourself to commit to one activity outside your comfort zone each day (take the weekends off), watch your world change, and open before you.
I love to hear your stories! Please share your wins of moving outside your comfort zone.
With love and joy,
Maria
Leadership Imprint
I recently went to the police station to be fingerprinted as a requirement for a volunteer project I am working on. On the way home, I saw a man driving a small electric car. When I saw the car, I assumed one of his objectives for buying the car was to leave less of a carbon imprint. This got me thinking about imprints...
What if we were to consciously craft and design the imprint, the “finger print” we desire on the world? How would this change our leadership?
Our print, imprints, or impressions are the lasting effects of our attitudes and behaviors. We leave these impressions whether we are aware of this fact or not—the prints are still there.
Are we leaving those we “touch” with feelings of encouragement, empowerment, or love? Or, are we impressing people with negativity, helplessness, or fear?
At what point in time do we consciously design our leadership impression? Is it when we have 200 people to lead? Is it when we are preparing for retirement? Or, is it now, with our own life, leading ourself? I love the old proverb, “The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”
Begin now to leave the impression you desire with consciousness, purpose, and love.
With a love-filled imprint,
Maria
Are you creative?
Practicing creativity not only helps leaders make quick, confident decisions, innovate, and problem solve; creativity also helps us interact with others at a higher level. Because creativity is a gift from God, planted in all of us, connecting energetically through creativity goes immediately to our souls. When we experience someone else’s creativity such as music, film, books, or art, we feel something deep down inside. That feeling is our energy of oneness, of our connection.
While earning my undergraduate degree, I took an art appreciation course. During our study of abstract art, the professor had us describe how we felt while looking at each art piece. During the exercise, if any of us would say, “That looks like a ship,” she would mark points off our grade. This was an extremely valuable lesson to learn; she challenged us to use our other senses beyond our eyes, and stay in the creative side of our brain. Our logical side wanted to analyze the picture instead of conceptualizing the possibilities. I now do this practice anytime I experience art. I stay present and open to the beauty of an opera sung in another language through many senses beyond auditory. The creative energy moves from the actors to my soul, with complete understanding and clarity when I remember the lesson learned in that art appreciation course.
Living in this creative zone is as beneficial for leaders as it is for artists. Observe artists at work, whether it is performing artists, painters, sculptors, writers, or designers. Artists are present in the moment of creating with razor sharp focus as the divine download fills the spaces of their mind, heart, and body.
Pablo Picasso reminds us, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” The best way to start is do what we did as children—play. I had so much fun picking out crayons and a coloring book as an adult, although I purchased under the pretense of buying it for my niece! Let’s get the creative juices flowing with the abandonment of child-like play. Your play may include painting, drawing, Play Doh, dancing, dress-up, or whatever makes you smile.
How do you get your creative juices flowing? Let's start today and create the world in which we live love.
Love,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book. 
Happy New Year!
On New Year’s Eve, we had a beautiful snowfall in the desert—a real treat! I love the start of a new year. In our home, we have a tradition of stating all that we were grateful for in the past year and proclaiming our hopes and intentions for the new.
This activity of reflection grounds us in the here and now. While this may sound like a contradiction, the activity of reflecting on the past and setting an intention for the future brings us fully present in the moment with awareness of our thoughts and feelings. It is not until we fully experience those full realizations combing thoughts and feelings can we release them to the past (which is where they belong) and focus our energy on creating the today and tomorrow we desire.
To realize your full intentions for 2013, follow these 10 powerful steps:
- Be still. In your stillness, connect with your source and the universal knowledge that exists inside of you and be present in the moment.
- Surrender your ego so you may fully hear your why and your purpose.
- Imagine yourself fulfilling this purpose, your intention. Do not rush through this process, as the more detail you see, the more energy and focus will attach to your intention.
- Don’t worry about the details in this stage; be open and go big. (We were never meant to be small).
- Now feel the feelings and emotions that accompany this picture in your mind’s eye. Again, do not rush through this. Feel the excitement, fulfillment, and joy that accompany realizing your intention.
- Visit this intention with the attitude of already fulfilling the intention. Fake it until you make it with this step!
- Write this intention down and read it first thing in the morning and again before you go to sleep. Remember to write your intention in the present tense.
- Determine steps necessary to fulfill your intention. Now is the time to exercise your backbone and not just your wishbone.
- Do the work! Put action behind your intention.
- Celebrate your milestones and always remember to envelope your actions and intentions in love and gratitude—you WILL succeed!
Dr. Dorothy Bonvillain and I are offering a telecourse to support you on your intentions, goals, and personal growth. For more information, please follow this link. http://shop.drmariachurch.com/Mastermind-TeleCourse-on-The-15-Invaluable-Laws-of-Growth-01012013.htm We do hope you will join us!
New Year blessings to you my dear friends.
With love and gratitude,
Maria
Let There Be Leadership Light!
“There are two ways of spreading light…To be a candle or the mirror that reflects it.” – Edith Wharton 
In this season of light, I ponder what light represents in our lives and how that relates to our leadership. I love Edith Wharton’s perspective of spreading light, but what exactly does that mean?
Spreading light comes in the form of lighting up a room. As leaders, we can light up a room with our presence; being fully present to others. We do this by listening without distraction, giving our full attention to those around us.
We can also spread light through our attitudes and behaviors. We spread light through love, care, and compassion. Light takes away the darkness. We know that smiles are contagious and a great conduit to spreading light and love.
As leaders, we can also be the mirror that reflects light. Through encouragement and support of those we lead, we see the light in their eyes, their behaviors, and their attitudes. Mentoring those we lead, reflecting back their greatness is one of the most profound activities we can do as leaders.
We also reflect light by “lightening” the load of others. We can help lighten the heaviness of others by supporting our teams literally and figuratively. Serving those we lead is an example of love-based leadership.
Light in the darkness and lightening the load are profound ways we demonstrate love-based leadership. In this season of light, I wish you a blessed holiday season and a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year.
With light and love,
Maria
Preparation
Many of us are busy preparing for Christmas. In this preparation, we are mind-filled of the details of the holiday season. In our preparation, we decorate the tree, rooms in our home and the outside of our house and yard. We prepare our Christmas card list and our gift list. We spend time planning our holiday meals, taking into consideration the likes and dislikes of our guests. The shopping list is completed and our strategic plans for grocery and gift shopping are formulated. We spend considerable time preparing our home for guests, relatives, and friends, leaving no detail unturned. The candles and soaps are strategically placed. Music and fragrances decided upon and implemented give joy to both our guests and us. We watch with baited breath as our loved ones open their gifts, aware of their every move.
Our holiday preparations involved strategic thoughts, plans, revision of plans, action lists, action, and evaluation. Can you imagine how our leadership development and skills may be improved if we took a similar strategic approach to preparing ourselves as better leaders?
Dr. Dorothy Bonvillain and I are offering a 4-week mastermind teleclass in January on John C. Maxwell’s 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. Please email me for details at Maria@DrMariaChurch.com. I sure hope you will join us in preparing for the next level of your leadership!
In love and preparation,
Maria
Choose Love
This is my first blog in the wake of last week’s insanity. Our children were stabbed on the other side of the world, our children on the other side of the country were killed, and our neighbor’s house was broken into and robbed. And there were many, many other infractions to our brothers and sisters. 
We must stop.
We must stop the violence.
We must stop the doomsday mentality.
We must stop revenge.
We must stop ignoring mental illness.
We must stop pretending there is no darkness.
We must stop destroying each other.
We must stop destroying our planet.
We must stop our apathy.
We must stop our ignorance.
We must stop our arrogance.
We must stop creating an insane world. 
We must stop living in ego.
We must stop choosing fear.
We must stop sleepwalking.
We must stop mindlessness.
We must stop separation.
We must stop pretending we are not connected to one another.
We must stop pretending that we not connected to the Divine.
We must shift to a force stronger than hatred, violence, revenge, and fear.
And that other force…simply…love.
Choose love.
I'm in! Are you?
With the intensity of divine love,
Maria
Ownership with Love-Based Leadership
As leaders, we hope to motivate and influence people to reach a goal. One of the most powerful ways to accomplish team motivation is through ownership. I do not mean this in the literal sense, such as stock options or formal partnerships. I am referring to the figurative sense of ownership – which could be equally powerful.
One of my favorite leadership quotes is by ancient Chinese philosopher and prophet, Lao Tzu, believed to be the creator of the Tao Te Ching, 500 years before the birth of Jesus. This quote by Lao Tzu simply and beautifully states the power of ownership:
With the greatest leader above them,
People barely know one exists.
Next comes one whom they fear.
Next comes one whom they despise and defy.
When a leader trusts no one,
No one trusts him.
The great leader speaks little.
He never speaks carelessly.
He works without self-interest
And leaves no trace.
When all is finished, the people will say,
“We did it ourselves."
In a love-based leadership organization, we trust our employees to problem-solve and innovate. We do not micromanage. We support our people with increased influence and motivation. Our organizations are more productive and our employees find meaning and satisfaction in their work, creativity, and ownership.
Do you participate in a love-based leadership organization with a shared sense of ownership? Please share your experiences.
With love,
Maria
Leadership Forgiveness In Motion: Part 3
“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit,” Peter Ustinov stated. How do we develop this habit? Below are some strategies to help us live in the state of forgiveness. 
Recognizing that we are stuck in an area or finding difficulty letting go of something (that nagging in your head and heart), let’s begin with naming the event and the people involved. Don’t rush through this exercise; sit with your thoughts and emotions. Now list all of the people in that scenario for whom you feel anger or resentment. Next to each name, identify the emotions you feel for that person. Again, do not rush through, but identify as many emotions you feel with each individual. As you begin to peel away the emotional layers with each person, honor each emotion without shoving it back in. As you experience each feeling, visualize the emotion as a dandelion, white with wispy seeds. After you have fully experienced your emotions, look at the dandelion. Gently blow and watch the soft white seeds break away, leaving only the stem, and releasing your emotions on each piece of the white seeds. Feel the freedom as the pieces blow away.
Another strategy is identifying those you blame or believe have contributed to a hurtful situation. List all of those people toward whom you blame or feel anger or resentment. Do not rush through this exercise. I must admit how surprised I was the first time I did the exercise that I had to use more than one sheet of paper!
Sometimes when we think about forgiving someone, we may resist because we don’t want to subject ourselves to possible abuse or hurt from that person. Again, forgiveness does not call for abuse or for us to be doormats. We can forgive someone without ever seeing him or her again. Forgiving someone does not require us to leave the safety of our own hearts and minds. Ours is a sacred space, safe and filled with love. Setting boundaries for others and ourselves is an important step in self-love.
How do you practice the beautiful freeing practice of forgiveness? I would love to learn your wisdom.
With love,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book.
Leadership Forgiveness of Self: Part 2
Because forgiveness is a state of being, action is required to move into that place or that state. Like so many other lessons, avoiding forgiveness is not static. Anger leads to judgment. (He is so mean, disrespectful, or vindictive when did that to me. She is so arrogant that she didn’t even realize she hurt me.) Judgment leads to blame, and blame leads to resentment. Resentment is unresolved anger and resentment hurts us, manifesting in stress-related illness, anxiety, or depression. Resentment hardens our hearts paving a path of vengeance. We can lose ourselves in judgment, condemnation, and conflict, all the while wondering why we are not happy and content.
Forgiveness is a choice. We take responsibility for our peace of mind and happiness when we choose to forgive. Many leaders think if we forgive, it is for the benefit of others. The primary advantage is that forgiveness benefits ourselves, and the primary function is removing ego separation bringing us back into our right mind with God. To make this choice, we experience a miracle.
The process of experiencing the miracle of forgiveness is perception shifting. The change in attitude comes to us through grace. Cultivating a practice of forgiveness first begins with self-forgiveness. Dr. Robin Casarjian describes six steps to practice self-forgiveness in her book, Forgiveness:
By practicing self-forgiveness, always remember to be gentle with yourself, suspending judgment, allowing and receiving miracles in this holy space. The miracle and shift in perception and attitude gives us insight about others and ourselves.
Practice self-forgiveness…why? The reason is just as the old Loreal commercial said, “Because I’m worth it!”
With love,
Maria
This is an excerpt from my new book.
Leadership Forgiveness - Part 1
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” ~ Robert Muller
Forgiveness is a challenging concept for many leaders. While we understand the idea and we know forgiveness when it happens, the vagueness surrounding forgiveness is illusive. The ambiguity enfolding forgiveness stems from our questions of how to bring about forgiveness and understanding, and from where it actually originated. To begin, let’s take a dive into the word itself. 
For implies intention to someone, for the benefit of or on behalf of someone or something. Give is to pass on, to gift, or convey something to someone. Ness, is a suffix that implies a state of being. For-give-ness therefore, is a state of benefiting someone by giving something to him or her.
How did we even get here—the need or desire to forgive?
We look to practice forgiveness when we are angry, wronged, or hurt. Tormentors come in the form of resentment, guilt, or even shame. Oftentimes we hold on to anger as a form of power. We feel in control and ultimately powerful when we hold onto our anger, justified in our feelings and hoping that the person we believe hurt us may feel guilty or remorseful for what we perceive they have done to us. Avoiding forgiveness allows us to fuel our anger, feeling justified and entitled in our anger or pain as victims. This practice of avoidance may manifest through not communicating with the person who harmed us, furthering the growth of our anger. Avoiding forgiveness is avoiding responsibility. We are victims because we believe we have no power. Playing the victim role deepens the feelings of pain and anger justification. Each time we replay the event that caused us pain is another attempt to regain respect, acknowledgment, hope, and love.
This time of year stirs up many emotions for us. In this season of love, we take a dive into forgiveness with a 3-parter! On Tuesday, we’ll continue the discussion on forgiveness (Part 2) with a look at self-forgiveness.
With a loving heart,
Maria
BTW - This is an excert from my new book!
Leadership Service
Organizational and leadership models throughout history, and still today, are like authoritative kingdoms. The ruling king or queen sits on their throne (corner office in the executive suite) and the serfs and subjects (subordinates and “team”) support them in any way necessary. Oh, we have the right words today—team, collaboration, and empowerment—unfortunately, in many organizations actions do not match the words. We know consciously and unconsciously these models do not work; however, we do not know how to replace them. As always, we just simply have to turn away from fear and stare right into the face of love. In those beautiful eyes, we find our answers. 
Service paves the path of leadership. Through love and a love-based leadership model, we serve others, our source, and ourselves. To make this miraculous shift in our perception about service, we must consciously be aware of leading with a service-mindset versus a sales-mindset. Many leaders I know lead with a sales-mentality, seeking “buy-in” from those they lead. They obtain buy-in through persuasion, manipulation, and control. These techniques can be effective, but the leader will not get long-term commitment. A service-mentality shifts from what can you do for me? to what can I do for you? This is similar to the phenomenon in marketing and product development happening today. Find out what they want and we’ll build it replaces the old mental model of build it and they will come. Leadership focus is on service, instead of self-interest. Uh-oh, the ego is not going to like this! Exactly.
When leaders shift from sales to service-mindsets, organizations shift from a kingdom culture and hierarchical structure to community. I am not describing Utopia or something found only through rose-colored glasses; I am describing what can be, and what is in some organizations and communities. By serving and giving, we are more successful. The more we give, the more we receive; the more we serve, the more we are served. This again demonstrates that to wherever you put your attention, you will manifest that.
How do you demonstrate service instead of sales?
In loving service,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!