The Bull S#%T About Power

Let’s break open the lid on the belief that power must be kept tightly in order to be effective – BULL S#%T!

Power, like abundance and love, multiplies when you give it away.

That is why I cannot understand why leaders are so afraid to share power and empower others.

Power multiples when you give it away – really!

Boleman and Deal wrote in Leading with Soul, “When people have a sense of efficacy and an ability to influence their world, they usually seek to be more productive. They direct their energy and intelligence toward making a contribution rather than obstructing progress or destroying their enemies.” At Saturn automobile factories, employees are empowered to stop the assembly line any time they see something wrong. The employees have pride and ownership in their product and they are the quality control.

Another benefit of shared power is the reduction in conflict. We often suppress our feelings when we feel powerless. When this happens, our anger can only be contained for so long, then the conflict and anger comes spewing out, often times in a rage. Empowered people empower others. In a Love-Based Leadership organization, shared power equals shared ownership. You cannot have one without the other.

Have you empowered someone today? If not, what is holding you back?

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

The B.S. of Poverty

Do not confuse the idea of service with poverty. Ego would have us believe that God demands that everyone must divest himself or herself of every material thing, and that we can only experience heaven if we are poor. This message has been greatly misunderstood… it is B.S.!

When we love money more than we love God, we experience hell. That’s why many wealthy people say they still don’t have happiness. This has nothing to do with money, as money is just an object. It has everything to do with where we place our focus, attention, and love.

Money allows us to serve others in profound ways. Our challenge is that sometimes we put money first instead of love.

We can NEVER fail when we put love and service first. What we need will follow.

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

Not all Power is Created Equal

Power is a hot topic. Not all power is equal. Bertram Raven and John French identified five different power bases: legitimate, coercive, expert, reward, and referent.

Legitimate power is the type of power that comes with a title or position. Coercive power is one that imposes force on others, like the king who threatens to behead those who disobey. Expert power is the type of power that comes with knowledge or information that someone else does not have. Reward power comes from bestowing upon someone something of value, and referent power is the power of respect. Like anything else in this world, all forms of power can be for the greater good or for selfish and egoic purpose.

While empowerment may make some leaders nervous, it also makes some followers uncomfortable. In Scenes from Corporate Life, Earl Shorris wrote, “Men who cannot conceive a happiness of their own accept a definition imposed upon them by others.” We have been taught for too long to let others define our thoughts, feelings, jobs, lives, and meaning for us. What to think, what to wear, how to feel—is it any wonder we get nervous when we receive permission or power to design aspects for ourselves?

As leaders, we must teach. We teach and show others how to stand in this power. We invite them in to learn, to grow, to create, and to commit to a purpose greater than our own. When we create and commit to the larger purpose, we seek the greater good. We become a community of we and our instead of me and mine.

What is your best empowerment experience? I love to hear from you.

With love,
Maria

Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Why is integrating love so important into our leadership? The answer is simple: because fear is not working and love is a much more powerful source.

Here are some other reasons to lead with love:

  • We have organizations full of over-worked, over-stressed employees who find little or no meaning in the work they do for eight to ten hours each day.
  • We have become paralyzed and/or complacent in the workplace, stifled by fear running rampant in today’s organizations.
  • Without meaning, we lack purpose and engagement. Love is the conduit to meaning.
  • Fear can be motivating for a while, but it is not sustaining. Love nurtures, expands, and grows.
  • Love honors, cares for, values, respects, and trusts others.
  • Love creates an organizational culture that is conducive to knowledge creation. If we don’t create, we will perish.
  • We reap what we sow, and if we plant seeds of fear, we will reap more fear. If we plant seed of love, we will harvest a love-filled culture.
  • Successful organizations such as Southwest Airlines, SEMCO, Tom’s Shoes, and Zappos are built on love and are reaping the benefits because of it.
That’s what love has to do with it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

With love,
Maria

Love-Based Leadership

As we close out this month of Love, let’s look at how we can translate that into a love-based leadership model. In my book, Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance, I present a very simple, yet profound way to lead based on three pillars: Love of Self, Love of Source, and Love of Others.

Leading with the Love-Based Leadership (LBL) model, we find meaning, authenticity, value, abundance, and purpose in and through our leadership. Those we lead find motivation, creativity, loyalty, commitment to the task, and value in their jobs through meaning.

Many of us share the common desire to find meaning in our daily work. A leadership model based on love recognizes the importance of living holistically by integrating love, health, wellness, and spirituality into all aspects of our life.

When we lead with the three pillars, we first focus on Love of Self. This is not an egoic love, but rather one where we honor, care for, and respect our self. While developing this pillar, we look to develop: 

  • Intuition
  • Truth-telling
  • Truth-receiving
  • Leverage the power of choice
  • Perception-shifting
  • Presence
  • Health & wellness

When we incorporate the second pillar into our leadership, Love of Source, we seek to connect with our Source. This connection fuels:
  • Inspiration
  • Creativity
  • Happiness
  • Faith
  • Perseverance
  • Peace
  • Love
In the third pillar, Love of Others, our leadership expands outward to include family, community, and our organization. This practice creates:
  • Forgiveness
  • Knowledge creation
  • Learning cultures
  • Shared ownership
  • Shared power
  • Collaboration
  • Meaning
Shifting from fear to love is transformative. This shift will not only transform your organization; it will transform your life.

With love,
Maria

Culture Creation – Part 4 of 4: The Deepest Element

As we conclude this exploration of organizational cultures, we go to the deepest part. Values, like beliefs, are elements extremely important to us, but we are not aware of them until we face a situation that forces them into our consciousness. Integrity, honesty, and ethical beliefs are a few values that often drive organizational and ethical behaviors.

As a coach, I usually begin a coaching relationship with a values clarification exercise. Values are foundational elements to the ways we think, act, and behave. Organizations are coming into awareness about the importance of value identification and are creating value statements to guide the organization. These value statements are as important as the mission and vision statements.

The deepest elements we find below the surface of the tree are the assumptions that feed the entire person and organization, passing through each element all the way through the roots, trunk, and branches to the tips of the leaves. Our assumptions are the most deeply ingrained of all the elements, created by our mental models.

Mental models are the lenses or filters by which we view the world, and no two are alike. Comprised of our familial, educational, community, religious, personal, and professional experiences, our mental models help us make sense, assumptions, and judgments about our life experiences. For example if I said, “pop” what would you think? Some may think of their father, a loud noise, a gun, gum, or soda. Whatever you thought of is reflective of your mental model.

So how do we create a culture based on love and love-based leadership? We start with the roots and work our way up. We begin with awareness and make conscious, strategic choices to create an environment based on love and not on fear. We recognize our own mental models and broaden our beliefs. We wrap awareness around our values and deepen our understanding of how they affect our beliefs and behaviors. We strategically infuse our organizational culture with continued learning and development. We intentionally instill a sense of shared ownership and power in the work we do, providing channels for meaningful work experiences, and we wrap all of these strategies in love.

As always, I love it when you share your insights.

With love,
Maria

Culture Creation – Part 3 of 4: The Beliefs Bridge

Last week, we looked at the elements of the culture above the surface, behavior. The trunk, bridging the branches and leaves above the ground to the roots below, are the beliefs we have individually and the beliefs we share collectively. Beliefs are the support to the behaviors demonstrated on the surface through the physical, language, ceremony, and story elements. The organizational beliefs are sometimes spelled out through the mission and vision statements, as well as policies and procedures. Many times, the beliefs are not in our consciousness until we are faced with a situation where we must examine them.


Because beliefs are the trunk or the stabilizing factor that directly fuels behavior, it is important for us to recognize the power beliefs have over our behavior. For instance, the Pygmalion effect is a phenomenon whereby you believe your team will fail, and in the end, they subsume that negative energy are not successful. Conversely, if you believe the person you just promoted into that position will succeed, the odds are that they will be successful. Our underlying beliefs affect our behavior. In the first example, you may not be available to the team for support, direction, and/or guidance. In the second scenario, you may be fully present to help that person succeed, providing mentorship and encouragement. Just as Henry Ford stated, “If you believe you can or believe you cannot, you are correct.”

Below the surface, beneath the leaves, branches, and trunk, we understand how the tree is nourished. The root structure is more elaborate and complex than the tree itself. This is true in our organizational cultures. The deeper we go below the surface, the deeper ingrained are the elements that feed into beliefs and behaviors. In those depths, lie the values, mental models, and perceptions that are so deeply ingrained that we are not even aware of them.

On Thursday, we will go to the deepest recesses of our cultures. Let me know your thoughts, comments, and questions. I love hearing from you!

With love,
Maria

Culture Creation – Part 2 of 4: The Stories We Tell

As the branches thicken, closer to the trunk, we think of the strength that stories carry within organizations. These stories can be stories of love, care, and pride in the organization’s accomplishments or they can be stories steeped in fear and told in ways that leverage fear and manipulation.

Stories told in organizations often become organizational legends. I remember working for a land developer when the CEO was flying in to visit us on his private jet with entourage in tow. A story that circulated among the staff was that he hated blue. Needless to say, none of us wore blue that day. I must admit that I found it odd that he “hated blue” since the company logo was a deep blue appearing on all of our signage, stationary, collateral material, and business cards. The legend was so strong and fear-based that not one of us tested the validity of the story.

Positive stories often depict the humble beginnings and dedicated work of early employees, shared year after year with the newer employees. To our prospective buyers, I would offer the story of how our company grew and showed them our wall of photos of communities that we had developed to “tell the story” of our company’s history. This form of storytelling instilled confidence in buyers that we had experience, integrity, and credibility. In fact, we called this space our credibility wall.

We also shared funny stories each year at the holiday party about humorous experiences we had with customers and with each other. Stories bond people together, connecting one another through shared experiences while meeting needs for belongingness and esteem.

On Tuesday, we will look at the bridge in our culture of the behaviors to our most deeply rooted values mental models and perceptions, the bridge of our beliefs. Don’t be shy, let me know your thoughts or questions!

With love,
Maria

Keepin It Real

I recently conducted some market research to learn from leaders how I can best support their leadership growth and development. I asked a series of questions and received great responses, food for thought, and feedback. A quick thank you to all who participated!

When I spoke with a man in the military, he said one of the most important aspects he looks for in leadership is “keepin it real”. OK, he is quite a bit younger than I am! However, this message is ageless and timeless.

Most of us have a pretty good B.S. meter and can smell fake a mile away. This is especially important to us, as
leaders, to tap into truth and stand in our authenticity. When we stand in authenticity, we stand in power. THAT is what makes us powerful leaders – authenticity.

And let’s face it; there is nothing more authentic or real than love.

When we lead with love and authenticity, we practice:

  • Truth
  • Mindfulness
  • Awareness
  • Non-judgment
  • Honesty
  • Integrity
  • Compassion
  • Service
  • Presence
  • Humanitarianism
What “reads” authentic to you? How would you describe an authentic leader, one who is keepin it real?

As always, I love hearing from you.

Keepin in real,
Maria

Our Collective Dream

Yesterday, in the United States, we celebrated the great Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.—his life, his work, and his love. He was a master orator, motivator, teacher, and a true love-based leader.

His most famous speech, “I Have a Dream” inspired us toward action for equality, justice, and love.

I have a dream, too. In fact, I am sure you too, have a dream... and I venture to guess that it is similar to my dream…a collective dream. That dream is the radical, necessary, ubiquitous dream of shifting from a world steeped in fear, to a love-based world.

Following are some inspiring words from Dr. King and a great lesson in leadership:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Remember, it ALWAYS comes back to love, so why not just start with love?

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” As leaders, we must step out and up on faith, because what else do we REALLY have?

“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.” The time is NOW to return to our spiritual compass, guidance, and Source.

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” Again, simply, LOVE.
 
“A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.” Stand firm, erect in your power, and do not succumb to the fear of victimhood.

“All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.” The call of a love-based leader…to serve others.
 
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Love-based leaders continue to grow, learn, and live in wisdom.

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” Forgiveness, to give it and receive it is the POWER of LOVE.

“History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.” Speak up and out; show up and lead.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” DO NOT die with the song of passion still in you.

“The time is always right to do what is right.” … and the time is always right to love.

Blessings and love to you my friends...viva the leadership revolution,
Maria

Ownership with Love-Based Leadership

As leaders, we hope to motivate and influence people to reach a goal. One of the most powerful ways to accomplish team motivation is through ownership. I do not mean this in the literal sense, such as stock options or formal partnerships. I am referring to the figurative sense of ownership – which could be equally powerful.
 
One of my favorite leadership quotes is by ancient Chinese philosopher and prophet, Lao Tzu, believed to be the creator of the Tao Te Ching, 500 years before the birth of Jesus. This quote by Lao Tzu simply and beautifully states the power of ownership: 

     With the greatest leader above them,
     People barely know one exists.
     Next comes one whom they fear. 
    Next comes one whom they despise and defy. 
    When a leader trusts no one, 
    No one trusts him. 
    The great leader speaks little. 
    He never speaks carelessly. 
    He works without self-interest 
    And leaves no trace. 
    When all is finished, the people will say, 
    “We did it ourselves."

In a love-based leadership organization, we trust our employees to problem-solve and innovate. We do not micromanage. We support our people with increased influence and motivation. Our organizations are more productive and our employees find meaning and satisfaction in their work, creativity, and ownership.

Do you participate in a love-based leadership organization with a shared sense of ownership? Please share your experiences.

With love,
Maria

Leadership Service

Organizational and leadership models throughout history, and still today, are like authoritative kingdoms. The ruling king or queen sits on their throne (corner office in the executive suite) and the serfs and subjects (subordinates and “team”) support them in any way necessary. Oh, we have the right words today—team, collaboration, and empowerment—unfortunately, in many organizations actions do not match the words. We know consciously and unconsciously these models do not work; however, we do not know how to replace them. As always, we just simply have to turn away from fear and stare right into the face of love. In those beautiful eyes, we find our answers.

Service paves the path of leadership. Through love and a love-based leadership model, we serve others, our source, and ourselves. To make this miraculous shift in our perception about service, we must consciously be aware of leading with a service-mindset versus a sales-mindset. Many leaders I know lead with a sales-mentality, seeking “buy-in” from those they lead. They obtain buy-in through persuasion, manipulation, and control. These techniques can be effective, but the leader will not get long-term commitment. A service-mentality shifts from what can you do for me? to what can I do for you? This is similar to the phenomenon in marketing and product development happening today. Find out what they want and we’ll build it replaces the old mental model of build it and they will come. Leadership focus is on service, instead of self-interest. Uh-oh, the ego is not going to like this! Exactly.

When leaders shift from sales to service-mindsets, organizations shift from a kingdom culture and hierarchical structure to community. I am not describing Utopia or something found only through rose-colored glasses; I am describing what can be, and what is in some organizations and communities. By serving and giving, we are more successful. The more we give, the more we receive; the more we serve, the more we are served. This again demonstrates that to wherever you put your attention, you will manifest that.

How do you demonstrate service instead of sales?

In loving service,
Maria

BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!

Leadership Coaching and Mentoring Difference

"Who exactly seeks out a coach? Winners who want more out of life.” - Chicago Tribune


Last time, I discussed mentoring. The focus for this post is on coaching. I understand that many people use these two terms interchangeably. Mentoring and coaching can be a nice compliment to each other, but we need to understand the difference so we may be effective with both activities in our leadership development.

Mentoring is typically sharing knowledge and experience, which equals wisdom. Typically, the mentor is older than the mentee, hence the experiential component. However, sharing of knowledge and information may move in both directions. In a mentorship relationship, advice is given to the mentee and the mentor leads the path.
 
Coaching is a partnership, whereby the coach walks beside the mentee on the path. The coach supports the coachee in the coachee’s self-discovery. Often times, the coaching relationship begins with awareness of self, including clarification of values, plans, dreams, and goals. In a coaching relationship, the coach is a sounding board, a mirror to reflect back, and an excavator to help the coachee unearth his or her own inner wisdom. A coach does not give advice, only support and resources. Coaches help coachees see additional perspectives, options, and choices that may be hidden from the coachee. Coaches work together with the coachee to develop action plans. Coaches are cheerleaders and accountability partners.

For many of us on the self-development path, we seek support from both mentors and coaches. Sometimes that person may be the same individual, recognizing the important distinction of when to lead, when to walk side-by-side, and when to follow. Knowing the difference is wisdom.

With love,
Maria

Leadership Grace – Part 2

“Grace must find expression in life, otherwise it is not grace”, are words filled with wisdom by Karl Barth. With our divine quiet grace, it shines like an outward beacon. The 3 Cs are outward manifestations of inward grace: care, compassion, confidence. The confidence comes from our surrender, knowing we are guided by the powerful hand of God. Confidence is one of the elements that draw followers to great leaders. Warning – confidence is not arrogance. I love the Merriam-Webster definition of arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. You will notice that I emphasized all of the ego-related words in bold. Yes, arrogance is seeded from ego, whereas confidence is seeded from authenticity, from grace, from God.

Care and compassion are grace manifested in outward behaviors toward others. Sir Francis Bacon reminded us that grace is fulfilled when shared, “If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins to them.” He spoke of a heart filled with love and grace. Grace, too, is demonstrated through acts of sincere kindness to each other and all living things on earth. Care and compassion are vibrations of love.

Rabbi Heshel described grace under fire when he said, “In every moment something sacred is at stake, and even in that moment being attacked something sacred is at stake. Can I chose, or be awake or aware enough to see that going on and to say I need an imaginative, creative, loving response that keeps my power rather than give it over to that person and just act the way they want me to act.” Living in that state of imaginative, creative, loving response described, is living in grace. Reclaiming and retaining our power is the power of grace. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi lived in grace, retaining their power, while teaching love and peace. Rev. Ed Bacon describes grace manifested as a unifying breath. Grace allows us to break the cycle of violence and turmoil.

How is grace manifested in your leadership and life?

With love,
Maria

BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book.

Open Leaders

Living with two bulging, herniated discs can be a pain (no pun intended), especially in our rainy season, when my back seems extra sore. During a family barbecue, my sister, a RN, asked if I was experiencing pain. When I asked why she inquired, she said that I looked like I was guarding. This is a medical term indicating when a person has pain somewhere in their body they become rigid as though to protect the area from further pain or injury. We do the same in our lives with our minds and hearts. We protect ourselves from perceived pain, we guard.

To be open, for many of us, means to be vulnerable. We’ve been open and been hurt; at least that explains some of the our experiences. Ego loves it when we stay closed and works over-time to ensure we do not enter openness. “Remember when you did that before and…” is one of the many voices of ego.

When we are open, the gates of Divine guidance, to intention, to the flow of Holy Spirit happen. Closing the gates of our minds and hearts is insanity. Why do the barriers to openness show up, guarding our sacred spaces? Ego, again is the answer. Blocks to openness manifest in the forms of negative voices cemented in our dialogue and culture. Evidence of this insanity in our workplaces includes statements like, Nice guys finish last, or when considering doing something nice for someone (a favor), If you do that for one, you’ll have to do it for everyone, or No good deed goes unpunished.

Opening our perceptions and inviting in the Holy Spirit through surrender, allows healing of the mind and heart to take place. Through healing, the ego no longer has hold on the barriers and blocks to the gates of openness. Just as a clenched fist cannot receive a gift, a closed mind cannot grow and a closed heart cannot receive love.

Steps to openness:

  1. Always, the first step is reflection. In what areas of your life do you feel closed or blocked to openness? Work? Love? Spirituality? Journal your thoughts.
  2. Practice random acts of kindness. These do not need to be grand, sometimes the smaller the better!
  3. Another way to develop compassion is to let go of your need to be right,

What other ways can we practice being open?

With an open heart,
Maria

What Does a Love-Based Leadership Organization Look Like?

In an LBL zone, love of Self, Source, and Others are present. We live the words so the words may live. People want to go to work, meaningful work in an LBL zone. A paradigm shift occurs in an LBL zone, where we discover a new way to do business based in part on ancient and traditional wisdom. In The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran described work in what could be an LBL zone:

It is to weave the cloth with threads from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit,
And to know that all the blessed dead are standing about you and watching.
Work is love made visible.
And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.

When LBL is practiced in organizations, several characteristics are present. The organization is fertile ground for knowledge creation, a learning organization. Power is shared, as is ownership of the work. Significance and celebration of others is ever-present in an LBL organization, adding to a meaningful work experience. A holistic approach to life, work, and spirituality is a way of life for those leaders practicing LBL, because LBL leaders honor themselves, their Source, and those with whom they work.

How would you describe a Love-Based Leadership organization?


With love,
Maria

What is leadership?

Leadership. What is it? How is it defined? Two great questions. Two reasonable questions. Two thousand responses.

In my experience, the words leadership and management are used interchangeably in the workplace. In the management and leadership classes I’ve taught over the years, we define them differently, however, recognizing that leadership is a critical part of management. I’ve always believed that defining leadership as a component of management was like saying cocoa is a component of chocolate.

Many organizations use the term leader when defining certain management positions. However, a title does not make a leader. My Grandpa Jaime used to say, “You can put a suit on a bum, but he is still a bum.” One may put the title of leader on a person, and he or she may or may not be a leader.

Most definitions of leadership have one over-arching similarity: vision. Creating vision and motivating followers towards the vision is the fundamental foundation of leadership. If there is no place to lead (vision) and no one to follow, then leadership is absent. I define leadership as the action of inspiring and motivating others towards a vision. I don’t believe it needs to be any more complicated than that.

What are some of the factors of being an effective leader? Here are some thoughts:
  • Creates alignment with goals, objectives, and strategies
  • Motivates and inspires others to reach in the direction of collective goals
  • Develops and empowers others
  • Interprets meaning in events and experiences
  • Encourages others to find the meaning in events
  • Builds commitment in the vision
  • Strengthens the identity of the team
  • Obtains necessary resources and support
  • Facilitates collective learning
  • Builds trust and cooperation
  • Encourages creativity and increased knowledge
  • Loves and cares about others
  • Cultivates strong sense of self
  • Demonstrates self efficacy and self esteem
  • Is present and shows up
This is certainly not an exhaustive list…What would you add?

With love,
Maria