“We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” - Joseph CampbellI read this quote today and it struck me on several levels.First, I think that many of us are afraid to change or “get rid of” our current life, even if our current life is not serving us well. We are fearful of the unfamiliar and even if the current situation is unhealthy, dysfunctional, or negative, it is familiar – and that familiarity is enough to keep people stuck and paralyzed.Then I started thinking about the “old skin” and how this is such a beautiful metaphor of how we cover ourselves with a skin, mask, or armor. You know the old skin…it is the stories we tell and believe that keeps us stuck. The skin is also a mask that we sometimes hide behind, so we don’t really have to show up. The skin is also armor we put on to “protect” us from being hurt. The problem with armor is that nothing can penetrate from either direction, meaning we cannot send out love, compassion, or joy.While Joseph Campbell may have been referring to radical change, this rich quote is also applicable to small changes. Like I often tell my clients, sometimes only a minor shift or course correction is necessary. A ten-degree shift may be all we need to shed our old skin and start living the life waiting for us.What are you waiting for?With love,MariaContent copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Today or Tomorrow - Which One?
“Today is great. Tomorrow is even greater.”
I just read this statement and immediately began to ponder it with questions, thoughts, emotions, and opinions. Yes, today and the precious moments of this time, this moment with fingers tapping on the keyboard, is the most precious gift of all – presence.
We’ve heard lessons and advise to not live in the past. I know many who do live in the past (myself included), reliving the stories of being hurt, victimized, or even greatness. The kicker about living in the past is that we just spent the precious moments of the present – poof, gone!
Focus on tomorrow, that is a tricky one! If we put all of our focus on tomorrow, the same phenomenon as living in the past occurs – current time spent with no refund.
Perhaps the answer lies in balance. We give a nod of honor and respect to the past including life lessons and joys. We include a nod to the future with respect, wonder, and awe.
And all of this is wrapped up with the bow of the present…fingers tapping on the keyboard.
What does this statement mean to you? As always, I love hearing your thoughts.
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Life in Technicolor
I met with my writers group the other day and we discussed some strategies and techniques from a recent writer’s workshop. Specifically, we discussed the importance of awareness for writers -- the ability to see and feel the smallest detail and then translate it onto the pages of a book.
As we discussed this hugely important skill, we talked about the importance of awareness in every aspect of our life.
To move into awareness, we must first be aware of the veil, illusion, or dream as many writers have described the state before awareness. I liken this to stumbling around in a dark room, bumping into stuff and getting hurt. Once I find the light switch, everything is revealed – a table is what bruised my shin, the arm of a chair in my hip. Now I see stuff!
The funny thing about flipping on the light switch is that you cannot live in darkness again.
I’ve had the great life experience of living with and around artists most of my life– visual, performing, literary, and several other types of art forms. Something I consistently notice about artists is their uncanny ability to be present in the moment with a heightened sense of awareness, always leading to awe.
What would happen to us and for us if we lived in awe? Life in Technicolor!
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Goals, Goals, and More Goals
Goal-setting will not only get you to a successful place, it is an absolutely necessary ingredient on the road to success. Setting goals may seem like a daunting task, but with a process or system to guide you, it can be quite simple.One of my favorite books, “Eat That Frog” by Brian Tracy offers such a process. Follow these seven steps for goal setting and you will find yourself on the road to success:
- Decide exactly what you want. Spend the time necessary to get very clear about what you want as an outcome.
- Write it down. The simple act of writing your goals on paper gives you a tangible form to remind you of your goals. I like to post my goals so I see them frequently throughout the day.
- Set a deadline on your goal; set sub-deadlines if necessary. This step helps you stay accountable.
- Make a list of everything that you can think of that you are going to have to do to achieve your goal. This act gives you mental “white space” so you can focus.
- Organize the list into a plan. You can organize your list by priority and sequence.
- Take action on your plan immediately! Do something – do anything because without action, you just have a really pretty plan.
- Resolve to do something every single day that moves you toward your major goal. Put time on your calendar each day to do a specific task on your list to reach your goals and commit to that time.
That’s it! You are on your way to goal setting, and even more importantly, goal achieving.
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Accountability is SIMPLE
As leaders, seizing opportunities to develop our team is a smart leadership practice. One of the best ways to develop our people is to hold them accountable.
Somehow we’ve managed to complicate the idea of holding people accountable, and it is quite simple. My friend Dr. Dorothy Bonvillain and I created an acronym to help you remember how simple delegating can be, with the acronym, SIMPLE:
S = Set clear expectations – this is the number one complaint and stressors from employees – that the expectations are vague.
I = Invite commitment – some say gain “buy in” but I much prefer to invite commitment. With an invitation, there is a shared sense of ownership.
M = Measure progress – Super important to keep up on this. How you will measure is part of the description of setting clear expectations.
P = Provide feedback – again, super important. Far too often managers will wait until the project is finished to say that it isn’t done correctly.
L = Link to consequences – consequences are also identified in the setting clear expectations stage.
E = Evaluate effectiveness – Do this together and it becomes a powerful activity for you and the person who is accountable.
What are some techniques you use to hold people accountable and why do you think the strategies are effective?
As always, I love sharing your insight.
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Strategic Planning
I am facilitating a strategic planning retreat today for an organization going through major change. As I prepared the agenda and activities, I was reminded how important this activity is to the success of realizing our vision and our intentions as a leader.
I know that the very thought of strategic planning makes some people bristle as they feel like they do not want the "constraints" of a strategic plan as they are “free spirits” or see the word “strategy” as cold, rigid, and not creative.
Not true! Completing a strategic planning process and designing your way to get there involves a lot of creativity and right-brain activity. Then the left-brain functions of determining the plans, steps, and strategies are added in to support the vision. Strategic planning is visioning, intending, and finding ways to support the vision.
Like so many other leadership functions, strategic planning has become much too complicated in some circles. You know me, I like to keep it simple, and my approach to strategic planning is also streamlined. Follow these simple steps and you will soar right through your strategic plan:
- Assess where you are right now. Review your mission and values statement to confirm they are congruent with each other. Complete a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats).
- Get clear on your vision, where you want to go. Look at your vision statement and confirm the congruency with your vision, mission, and values. Set your long-term goals and your short-term goals all in support of your vision.
- Create your action plan to get you to your goals. See my blog post on Action Planning for steps to creating an action plan.
That’s it, go forth, and plan!
What are some techniques you’ve used for your strategic planning?
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
LoveFest 2013
I am so excited to share with my latest project with you – LoveFest 2013!
Along with Laura Wilson, CPC, (Love Coach Laura), we are honoring 11 other people who integrate love into their work in BIG ways!
This FREE virtual event, LoveFest 2013, next week, September 16 – 19 demonstrates the exciting transformational shift from fear and competition modalities toward love and collaboration with heart-based methods.
Our speakers represent thirteen major areas of life (politics, leadership, business, money, health, sports, community, relationships, self, intention, networking, social media, sales, and education) experiencing the profound benefits of shifting to a love-based approach.
You will hear from money and business expert, Maria Simone, sales expert Carolyn Coradeschi, social media and marketing coach, Tassey Russo, the go to business coach for healers, Karen Monteverdi, bullying prevention expert, Vicki Abadesco, and several other experts bringing love to work in corporate America, communities, schools, business, health/wellness, weight loss, making money, sports, arts, and of course, relationships.
Not only will you hear 13 of us talk about this shift from fear to love, but you will hear about the incredible results that we and our clients are experiencing from this shift!
I sure do hope you will join us at our FREE virtual event, LoveFest 2013. Just click here to register!
Don’t miss Jone Bosworth, J.D.’s interview, “Unchain the Heart of Democracy”, or Sandy Zeldes’s interview, “Love: Your Weight-Loss Solution” and so much more!
Join us today!
Register at http://www.LoveFest2013.com
“See you” at the Fest!
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Shiny Object Syndrome
I sometimes find it easy to lose focus and become distracted — the shiny object syndrome.
Working with a client yesterday, she posed the question, “How do I move past the I won’t and/or I can’t thoughts to the I will intentions?
What a great question! I love the level of awareness required to recognize that our thoughts become our intentions – whether those thoughts serve and support us or derail and limit us. Our thoughts become our intentions and those intentions really do become our reality.
Bravo, for recognizing that simple, yet profound truth!
Here is a very simple three-step quickening exercise you can do to move your thoughts and actions from “I won’t/I can’t” to “I will”:
- Set your intention or goal as simply and distinctly as possible.
- When something comes up (a shiny object), just simply ask yourself, “Does this support my intention or goal?”
- If the answer is yes, move forward. If the answer is no, dismiss it and get back to I will so you can realize your intention and goal.
Really, it is that simple; however, I must warn you—the results you will experience will be profound!
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Your Way Out of Conflict
Like presence, when we fully connect with those with whom we are communicating, when we find common ground, we come together. Our ability to find common ground is easy when you combine presence, power listening, and perception shifting, with intuition.
Discover shared values, shared objectives, shared goals, and/or a shared vision. You are now on your way to discovering the true issue of the conflict. This clarity creates a shifted environment to now empathize with this person, which will move you into a collaborative vibe.
Once you’ve determined the true issue, now together, you can create a shared vision of collaboration…a plan to move forward. Remember as you create your plan of collaboration, apply the four actions of presence, power listening, perception shifting, and intuition, while always staying focused on common ground.
When you create your plan of collaboratively moving forward, remember to include follow-up, keeping the lines of communication open, demonstrating your commitment to improvement, and always be gracious—thanking the person for bringing this issue to your attention. Shoot for always ending the conversation on a positive note.
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Great Leaders are Full
Great leaders, who communicate and connect, fill their minds with the person in front of them. We feel this connection when others are fully engaged in what we are saying. We see it in their eyes, we feel it energetically, we know we are connected and drawn to that person and the moment. Presence is mindfulness. Mindfulness is found in the present, and when you are present, you show up.
When we find this connection with others through mindfulness, we gain a deeper understanding of each other and of ourselves. Of course when we do, we are mind-full of their presence in the moment. We also understand ourselves better when we connect with others. It is not unusual with this deep union of souls, to see ourselves in those people with whom we feel connected. In a mindful state, empathy, connection, compassion, and equality surface to our consciousness. We see and feel each other as the same, without division and without judgment—we feel love.
Not only is a mindful practice one that provides clarity, vision, connection, and beauty, but being present in the moment also confers peace of mind. Living in mindfulness is living in peace. This is especially relevant in our current culture plagued with chaos, competition, rage, and fear.
How do you know when you've really been heard?
With love and attention,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
De-Compartmentalized Leading and Living
When we neglect to look at the whole person, especially the spiritual dimension, we overlook a strong and powerful resource. Our spirituality grows in wisdom, and it is in wisdom that the world’s most powerful resource is used. “Life and livelihood ought not be separated, but to flow from the same source, which is Spirit, for both life and livelihood are about Spirit. Spirit means life, and both life and livelihood are about living in depth, living with meaning, purpose, joy, and a sense of contribution to the greater community. A spirituality of work is about bringing life and livelihood back together again. And spirit with them.”1
We cannot compartmentalize our spirit; it is like compartmentalizing our breathing from our brain: impossible. In a study of spirituality in the workplace, Mitroff and Denton found that, “People do not want to compartmentalize or fragment their lives. The search for meaning, purpose, wholeness, and integration is a constant never-ending task. To confine this search to one day a week or after hours violates people’s basic sense of integrity, of being whole persons. In short, soul is not something one leaves at home.”2
How have you managed to de-compartmentalize your life?
Love,
Maria
1. Matthew Fox, The Reinvention of Work, pp. 1-2.
2. Ian I. Mitroff and Elizabeth A. Denton, A Spiritual Audit of Corporate America (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1999), pp. xv-xvi.
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
LUV and Manufacturing
Two of my favorite examples of Love-Based Leadership (LBL) in action include Southwest Airlines and Semco.
Southwest Airlines has demonstrated repeatedly that a holistic, loving focus (they are the “LUV” airline!) has brought abundance and meaning to their leaders and employees. They learned that when employees are trusted to make decisions, and when they have ownership of their work, they often come up with better solutions than those the company could have found. They responded much quicker to customers’ demands and the employees directed their energy toward innovation, seizing unique and creative market opportunities at critical times. “The Southwest story demonstrates over and over that people will act responsibly and do more than expected when they are given the freedom to think on their own.”1
The manufacturing company, Semco, demonstrated great love for their employees with the change from the traditional models of doing business to an organizational culture that honored and respected their people. As Ricardo Semler, CEO put it, “To survive in modern times, a company must have an organizational structure that accepts change as it basic premise, lets tribal customs thrive, and fosters a power that is derived from respect, not rules. In other words, the successful companies will be the ones that put quality of life first. Do this and the rest—quality of product, productivity of workers, profits for all—will follow.”2
What LBL organizations do you know of and how do they demonstrate LBL?
With love,
Maria
1. Freiberg, Kevin, and Jackie Freiberg. Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success. New York: Broadway Books, 1998.
2.0Semler, Ricardo. Maverick: The Success Story Behind the World’s Most Unusual Workplace. New York: Warner Books, 1993.
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Fear-Based Leadership Vision Statement
Fear-based leadership exists, but can easily be erased.
Remember that both fear and love cannot be present at the same time.
Love-Based Leadership (LBL) doesn’t look like fear, doesn’t smell like fear, and doesn’t walk like fear. Perfect love drives out all fear. LBL doesn’t just proclaim that people are important because it says so on the mission statement posted on the wall. LBL leaders do not say one thing and do another.
An organization where LBL is not practiced is secretive: a fertile ground for non-truth. An organization without LBL is steeped in office politics and scarcity thinking—the fear that resources are limited and everyone is out to get yours. Information is not shared, rather, it is hoarded. There is no sign of spirit or energy.
The focus and vision of organizations where LBL is not practiced (a fear-based organization) could read:
We recognize there is only a limited amount of (money, people, projects, resources) and we will do anything to make sure we’ve got most, if not all of it (money, people, etc.). We tell our people they are important and they believe us because they are incapable of making any decisions on their own. We are the best because we said so.
What do you think a Love-Based Leadership vision statement would say?
As always, I love hearing your perspective.
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Wakeup Call!
When sleeping women wake, mountains move. ~ Chinese proverb
I love the power of this statement. I would like to expand it to read, “When sleeping people wake, mountains move.”
The most obvious interpretation of this is when we get into our day with focused attention; we get a lot of work done.
But ahhh, as we know, Chinese proverbs go much deeper, and so do I, so let’s get right to it!
When we “wake up” from unconsciousness, we move obstacles and barriers to love – also known as fear and ego. Our fear and ego sometimes feels like mountains. The only way to “move” the mountains is to eliminate the fear and ego with the supreme power of love.
We can only know the truth of love with consciousness.
It is time to set the alarm – this is a wakeup call! Good morning mountain movers.
What practices do you do to stay “awake” and conscious? I always love to hear from you and sharing your insight.
With love from your fellow mountain mover,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Do You Have Ba?
Innovation and knowledge creation are extremely important in today’s global marketplace. Many organizations thrive on innovative ideas and others struggle with creating new knowledge and innovative goods and services. What is the key to knowledge creation?
According to two Japanese researchers, Ikujiro Nonaka and Toshihiro Nishiguchi, organizations must have ba present in the organizational space for knowledge creation to occur. Ba, loosely defined, is an energy by which knowledge and innovation are created.
In order for ba to exist, the organizational culture must have love, care, trust, and compassion. These four elements are absolutely necessary for knowledge creation.
Does love, care, trust, and compassion exist in your organization? If not, why not? What can you do to shift the energy, to invite ba in? Remember, as Gandhi stated, “We must be the change we wish to see”. Let’s bring love, care, trust, and compassion back into our work, and back into our lives.
With love and ba,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Soul Stirring
I love today’s dialogue of finding meaning and purpose. Listening to and honoring your heart’s call honors your soul, your core, and your very essence. When we are aligned with our soul, with our spirit, we are authentic, abundant, and at peace. Meaning is not a destination, but a way of life, like the air we breathe. There is no better way to achieve well being and love for ourselves than aligning with our spirit.
When we do not care for our souls, we end up with what Albert Schweitzer referred to as, “A sleeping sickness of the soul. Its symptoms are loss of seriousness, enthusiasm, and zest. When we live superficially, pursue no goals deeper than material success, and never stop to listen to our inner voices, we stunt our spiritual development.” How do you develop your spirit? Spiritual growth and development manifest through inspiration. Do what you love and you’ll find that you love what you do. Music, art, nature, and literature are a few of the paths for inspiration.
What stirs your soul?
With love and a whole lot of stirring going on,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Prayer, Meditation and Leadership?
What in the world, do these three things have in common?
Everything.
As leaders, we have a responsibility to lead and inspire with clarity. In our busy world, we often don’t take the time to just think and get really clear about the vision and more importantly, the path, systems, and steps necessary to realize the vision.
And even worse, we think we have to get there on our own.
Well, the good news is that we are not on our own.
Prayer and meditation are ways we connect with our Source. Stillness and silence are also paths to feeling that connection with the Universe. French philosopher and scientist Blaise Pascal stated, “All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Through stillness, we obtain clarity. When we have clarity, we have time gained. Time gained comes to us because we have a clearer picture of the problem or dilemma and see an unobstructed path to follow.
I cannot think of a more cost efficient use of time. The return on investment with time spent in silence with our Source is abundance beyond our wildest dreams.
As always, I love hearing your thoughts.
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Let Freedom Ring
Happy Independence Day to all of my fellow Americans!
Today is a day that we celebrate life’s freedom with gratitude. I have a very long list of life’s freedoms for which I am grateful. Topping that list is my ability to make choices.
And we always can make a choice…always!
Dr. Viktor Frankl, one of my greatest mentors, was a brilliant psychiatrist captured by the Nazis and imprisoned in a series of concentration camps. His notes of his work and all of his possessions were seized. Stripped of everything, literally and figuratively, he was given a number to replace his name. “The experience of camp life shows that man does have a choice of action,” Frankl stated in Man’s Search for Meaning, “Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.” Dr. Frankl realized this truth when he wrote, “What alone remains is ‘the last of human freedoms’—the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.”
Those are very wise and applicable words then, and today. When we place ourselves in a victim role, we are victims. We do create our own realities. However, we have a choice in how that reality looks, as co-creators. We can choose to create a different perception, a different reality.
Let freedom ring!
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
The Bull S#%T About Power
Let’s break open the lid on the belief that power must be kept tightly in order to be effective – BULL S#%T!
Power, like abundance and love, multiplies when you give it away.
That is why I cannot understand why leaders are so afraid to share power and empower others.
Power multiples when you give it away – really!
Boleman and Deal wrote in Leading with Soul, “When people have a sense of efficacy and an ability to influence their world, they usually seek to be more productive. They direct their energy and intelligence toward making a contribution rather than obstructing progress or destroying their enemies.” At Saturn automobile factories, employees are empowered to stop the assembly line any time they see something wrong. The employees have pride and ownership in their product and they are the quality control.
Another benefit of shared power is the reduction in conflict. We often suppress our feelings when we feel powerless. When this happens, our anger can only be contained for so long, then the conflict and anger comes spewing out, often times in a rage. Empowered people empower others. In a Love-Based Leadership organization, shared power equals shared ownership. You cannot have one without the other.
Have you empowered someone today? If not, what is holding you back?
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
You are Branded!
Branding and image consulting are terms we’ve no doubt heard, typically in the context of marketing. Have you thought about your brand? No, I am not talking about the company for which you work—I am talking about YOU! 
What is your brand, your leadership image? Are you respected because you’ve earned it or are you feared because of your title? What is the first thing your people think about when your name comes up?
Some of us may say that we don’t care about what others think about me. Really, is that really true?
As leaders, our primary task is to motivate and influence others toward a vision and/or goal. If others are not buying our brand, then we don’t really have followers.
How can we consciously create our leadership brand? Follow these 5 simple steps:
- Intentionally determine what you want your brand to represent.
- Reverse engineer the steps necessary to develop and create that brand image.
- Be accountable to doing the work – find an accountability partner or coach who will be honest about your progress and a resource when you are stuck.
- Be vulnerable and do spot checks with others to see if you are on the right track (in other words—ask!).
- Celebrate your successes along the way.
For more information on image, check out this previous blog post, Leadership Impression.
Please share your progress and aha’s! I love hearing from you.
Love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.