We expect leaders, including ourselves, to have the answers. If we don’t have the answer to a leadership challenge, we may feel inadequate. These feelings, like inadequacy, may also include feelings of uncertainty and vulnerability. None of these feelings feel good to us, nor are allowed in the workplace, or so we’ve been taught.
Really? Are we really supposed to never experience uncertainty as a leader? We are human beings, “hard-wired for struggle” as researcher, Brene‘ Brown states. We are not the Hollywood version of leaders —we are human. And with our humanness, we are sometimes—make that many times, uncertain.
What do we do with this uncertainty? Well, we bury it of course. This strategy may work for us for a while, that is until it shows up again as illness, ulcers, or worse. Why do you think we are so stressed, obese, and addicted? It is because we bury and numb our feelings.
The interesting thing about numbing is that when we numb our “bad” feelings such as uncertainty, vulnerability, doubt, and fear, we are also numbing our “good” feelings of joy, peace, and gratitude.
Another important aspect to know about uncertainty and vulnerability is that this state is where creativity, joy, and beauty are found. Walking through the door of uncertainty and vulnerability is full of endless possibilities because this is the location of our true, authentic self.
How do we work with uncertainty and vulnerability without going crazy? Follow these five steps to support you during these times:
Remember that uncertainty and vulnerability is the birthplace of truth, authenticity, creativity, and beauty. As always, I love to hear your thoughts.
With love and vulnerability,
Maria
Love-Based Leadership
As we close out this month of Love, let’s look at how we can translate that into a love-based leadership model. In my book, Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance, I present a very simple, yet profound way to lead based on three pillars: Love of Self, Love of Source, and Love of Others.
Leading with the Love-Based Leadership (LBL) model, we find meaning, authenticity, value, abundance, and purpose in and through our leadership. Those we lead find motivation, creativity, loyalty, commitment to the task, and value in their jobs through meaning.
Many of us share the common desire to find meaning in our daily work. A leadership model based on love recognizes the importance of living holistically by integrating love, health, wellness, and spirituality into all aspects of our life.
When we lead with the three pillars, we first focus on Love of Self. This is not an egoic love, but rather one where we honor, care for, and respect our self. While developing this pillar, we look to develop:
When we incorporate the second pillar into our leadership, Love of Source, we seek to connect with our Source. This connection fuels:
In the third pillar, Love of Others, our leadership expands outward to include family, community, and our organization. This practice creates:
Shifting from fear to love is transformative. This shift will not only transform your organization; it will transform your life.
With love,
Maria
Culture Creation – Part 4 of 4: The Deepest Element
As we conclude this exploration of organizational cultures, we go to the deepest part. Values, like beliefs, are elements extremely important to us, but we are not aware of them until we face a situation that forces them into our consciousness. Integrity, honesty, and ethical beliefs are a few values that often drive organizational and ethical behaviors.
As a coach, I usually begin a coaching relationship with a values clarification exercise. Values are foundational elements to the ways we think, act, and behave. Organizations are coming into awareness about the importance of value identification and are creating value statements to guide the organization. These value statements are as important as the mission and vision statements.
The deepest elements we find below the surface of the tree are the assumptions that feed the entire person and organization, passing through each element all the way through the roots, trunk, and branches to the tips of the leaves. Our assumptions are the most deeply ingrained of all the elements, created by our mental models.
Mental models are the lenses or filters by which we view the world, and no two are alike. Comprised of our familial, educational, community, religious, personal, and professional experiences, our mental models help us make sense, assumptions, and judgments about our life experiences. For example if I said, “pop” what would you think? Some may think of their father, a loud noise, a gun, gum, or soda. Whatever you thought of is reflective of your mental model.
So how do we create a culture based on love and love-based leadership? We start with the roots and work our way up. We begin with awareness and make conscious, strategic choices to create an environment based on love and not on fear. We recognize our own mental models and broaden our beliefs. We wrap awareness around our values and deepen our understanding of how they affect our beliefs and behaviors. We strategically infuse our organizational culture with continued learning and development. We intentionally instill a sense of shared ownership and power in the work we do, providing channels for meaningful work experiences, and we wrap all of these strategies in love.
As always, I love it when you share your insights. 
With love,
Maria
Culture Creation – Part 2 of 4: The Stories We Tell
As the branches thicken, closer to the trunk, we think of the strength that stories carry within organizations. These stories can be stories of love, care, and pride in the organization’s accomplishments or they can be stories steeped in fear and told in ways that leverage fear and manipulation.
Stories told in organizations often become organizational legends. I remember working for a land developer when the CEO was flying in to visit us on his private jet with entourage in tow. A story that circulated among the staff was that he hated blue. Needless to say, none of us wore blue that day. I must admit that I found it odd that he “hated blue” since the company logo was a deep blue appearing on all of our signage, stationary, collateral material, and business cards. The legend was so strong and fear-based that not one of us tested the validity of the story.
Positive stories often depict the humble beginnings and dedicated work of early employees, shared year after year with the newer employees. To our prospective buyers, I would offer the story of how our company grew and showed them our wall of photos of communities that we had developed to “tell the story” of our company’s history. This form of storytelling instilled confidence in buyers that we had experience, integrity, and credibility. In fact, we called this space our credibility wall.
We also shared funny stories each year at the holiday party about humorous experiences we had with customers and with each other. Stories bond people together, connecting one another through shared experiences while meeting needs for belongingness and esteem.
On Tuesday, we will look at the bridge in our culture of the behaviors to our most deeply rooted values mental models and perceptions, the bridge of our beliefs. Don’t be shy, let me know your thoughts or questions!
With love,
Maria
Culture Creation – Part 1 of 4
One of the most popular questions I am asked is, “How do we create an organization like love-based leadership?” That is a big question! Love-based leadership begins with self-discovery, self-awareness, and self-growth; however, the organizational culture is a big part of this dynamic.
Because the organizational culture is so important, I am devoting the next four blog posts to taking a deep dive in understanding culture. This is a first for our Leadership Revolution A Call to Hearts blog—a four-part series! Let’s get right to it. 
Like a tree, the culture of an organization has many interconnected components—each one linked to and vital to the growth of another. Three primary parts comprise the culture including behavior, beliefs, and values/assumptions/mental models which equate to the tree’s leaves/branches, trunk, and roots respectively.
When we look at the most visible feature of the tree, the leaves, we see the physical elements. These physical elements are the most superficial part of a culture. In organizations, the physical elements represent the actual physical spaces within the organizations. What do we see as we approach the outward vestiges of the organization? Is signage prominently and attractively displayed? Do you receive a warm greeting by the receptionist when you walk in? Is the building well kept or is it in disrepair? Other physical elements we notice are photos and signs on the walls, mission or vision statements proudly displayed, employee of the month plaques, the walls, windows, cubicles, volunteer thank-you plaques and trophies, gathering spaces and other physical clues.
The next element we notice is the language spoken. In any culture, a shared language brings people together and allows for efficient, quick communication. Often we notice a unique slang, acronyms, and industry-specific terms in organizations. I remember when I first entered the sales field and the staff referred to the next lead (person) who came in the door as an “up” which meant to get your butt up out of the chair and go sell to them!
Ceremonies, rituals, and routines are the next layer of culture. These elements are more substantive than the leaves as they are thicker and closer to the trunk. Organizations sometimes strategically plan ceremonies and rituals such as annual award dinners and employee or customer appreciation luncheons. However, routines and rituals of a less formal nature are just as solid and telling of a culture. In one organization where I worked, we always celebrated an employee birthday with a song and a cake. It was our tradition (ritual) that the guest of honor cut and serve the cake to all in attendance.
On Thursday, we will explore the power of stories in our organizations. Let me know your thoughts, comments, or questions.
With love,
Maria
Laughter, Lightness, and Leadership
Early on in my corporate career, colleagues advised me to learn golf, which they claimed as a great way to network, bond with clients, and create deals. I learned the sport, but I didn’t enjoy the game as much as other people did. At one of our corporate retreats, my boss and colleagues couldn’t wait to get out on the course with some of the top executive staff. I was a bit confused by this because I knew my boss didn’t really like or get along with this group of people. I asked him about it and he said that on the golf course, unless you are a pro, there is no pretense; all are on equal footing and all are hitting poorly. The golf experience allowed them to bring down their guards and share the misery of their poor shots. Like golf, laughter allows us to connect with one another, letting our guards down, sans the misery of poor golf shots. 
Laughter enhances communication by letting our shields down and showing that we are human. The model of professionalism for too long has instructed us to be super-human. We learned how to work beyond what is humanly possible, denying our natural rhythm for balance. We also learned to check our emotions at the door. While I ascribe to the concepts of emotional intelligence (EI), we are still human; we have emotions. To deny that fact is insanity. EI purports that we understand and acknowledge our emotions, recognize them, and with conscious awareness not let the emotions rule us. This is certainly a healthy approach to emotions, which is very different from the professional corporate model we learned.
Here are seven strategies for infusing laughter and lightness in your leadership and life:
What do you do to infuse laughter into your life?
With love and laugher,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!
Leadership Grace – Part 2
“Grace must find expression in life, otherwise it is not grace”, are words filled with wisdom by Karl Barth. With our divine quiet grace, it shines like an outward beacon. The 3 Cs are outward manifestations of inward grace: care, compassion, confidence. The confidence comes from our surrender, knowing we are guided by the powerful hand of God. Confidence is one of the elements that draw followers to great leaders. Warning – confidence is not arrogance. I love the Merriam-Webster definition of arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. You will notice that I emphasized all of the ego-related words in bold. Yes, arrogance is seeded from ego, whereas confidence is seeded from authenticity, from grace, from God.
Care and compassion are grace manifested in outward behaviors toward others. Sir Francis Bacon reminded us that grace is fulfilled when shared, “If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins to them.” He spoke of a heart filled with love and grace. Grace, too, is demonstrated through acts of sincere kindness to each other and all living things on earth. Care and compassion are vibrations of love.
Rabbi Heshel described grace under fire when he said, “In every moment something sacred is at stake, and even in that moment being attacked something sacred is at stake. Can I chose, or be awake or aware enough to see that going on and to say I need an imaginative, creative, loving response that keeps my power rather than give it over to that person and just act the way they want me to act.” Living in that state of imaginative, creative, loving response described, is living in grace. Reclaiming and retaining our power is the power of grace. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi lived in grace, retaining their power, while teaching love and peace. Rev. Ed Bacon describes grace manifested as a unifying breath. Grace allows us to break the cycle of violence and turmoil.
How is grace manifested in your leadership and life?
With love,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book.
Leadership Fear
We recognize there is only a limited amount of (money, people, projects, resources) and we will do anything to make sure we got most, if not all of it (money, people, etc). We tell our people they are important and they believe us because they are incapable of making any decisions on their own. We are the best because we said so. 
I was exploring the devastating effects of fear with a client recently and thought it may be appropriate to share an excerpt from my book, Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance. This piece describes what fear in an organization looks like…
“Increasingly, fear dominates our societies and most of our organizations. But you cannot fight fear directly. It is only possible to gradually supplant fear as the dominant emotion in our system of management by building respect, appreciation, and legitimacy.”1 LBL doesn’t look like fear, doesn’t smell like fear, and doesn’t walk like fear. “Perfect love drives out all fear.”2 LBL doesn’t just proclaim that people are important because it says so on the mission statement posted on the wall. LBL leaders do not say one thing and do another. An organization where LBL is not practiced is secretive: a fertile ground for non-truth. An organization without LBL is steeped in office politics and scarcity thinking. Information is not shared, it is hoarded. There is no sign of spirit. The focus and vision of organizations where LBL is not practiced could read:
“Too often managers and their organizations lose touch with their essence. This is true despite the growing evidence that companies with core beliefs and values that transcend the bottom line are, paradoxically, more profitable over time than companies that focus only on making money.”3
What are some other ways you have seen fear demonstrated?
In fearlessness,
Maria
Sources
1. Peter M. Senge, “Commentary.” Reflections, 2005, 6(2), p. 17.
2. 1 John 4:18 Holy Bible, King James Version
3. Jim Collins and Jerry I. Porras, quoted in Lee G. Bolman and Terrence E. Deal, Leading with Soul, p. 41.
Leadership, Influence and Love
“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.” - Roy Croft One of my favorite quotes by Lao Tzu demonstrates influence at its best:
Wow – wouldn’t it be cool to have your team say that about you?
Very rarely am I involved in a conversation about leadership that does not include the topic of influence. I believe that influence is what most leaders seek; although, many will confuse influence with motivation. Motivation is important in leadership; it gets the job done. However, influence, is lasting. Influence is legacy. 
Think about those people who influenced your life – in both positive and negative ways. We rarely forget the impact they had in shaping our behavior, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. I know we eventually forgive those that had a negative influence on us. But…how often do we acknowledge and thank those who’ve had a positive influence on us?
I recently had the great honor to thank two very influential people in my life. It felt great to thank them, and even better to see the looks on their faces and feel the love in their hearts.
What are some steps we can take to grow our influence with others? Below are some sure-fire ways to increase our influence:
As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear, and the next the people hate. When the best leader's work is done, the people say, “We did it ourselves!"
What are some of the ways you’ve found to influence others?
With love,
Maria
Leaders “Showing Up”
Recently working with a client, we were discussing how we “show up”. We have learned and studied so much about good communication skills and body language that many of us have mastered the art of “listening” with our bodies. Bodies leaning in, head nodding, eyes fixed on the other person, yet all the while our minds are anywhere but that conversation. Or our thoughts are fixed on what we are going to say next, not listening to the words coming out of the other person’s mouth! 
Our bodies are there – we showed up, physically. But have we really showed up? Are our mind, heart, and spirit present? Really present?
So often, we are replaying in our head the argument we may have had with a spouse, the traffic on the way to work, or the memo we just read. How different would it be if we really showed up – mind, body, and spirit? How would our showing up affect our communication...our connection and relationships with others...our leadership?
How can make sure we really show up? Here are a few tips:
How do you show up?
To your success...with love,
Maria
The Leadership Revolution: A Call to Hearts
Welcome to my blog about leadership – specifically, leading with our hearts, with love. There is a movement among us, and that movement is an evolution in leadership. This evolution is so important and leaders across the globe are so passionate about the movement that it is a revolution…a leadership revolution with a call to hearts.
We know historically that a revolution is a revolt, an uprising against the standard, the status quo. That is exactly what we are seeing in leadership. Leaders are recognizing the power of this shift and smart leaders are getting on board, and finding great results in this movement.
Leaders are shifting from:
- Competition to collaboration
- Coercion to influence
- Secrecy to transparency
- Information gathering to information distribution
- Scarcity to abundance
… and this is just the beginning!
My hope is that you will join in this discussion and share your insights with all of us. I also hope that you will find great value in our information exchange and will share these resources with those in your sphere of influence. When we are empowered, we are powerful.
The plan is to post information, resources, food for thought and to facilitate a deep, rich discussion on three of my greatest passions – leadership, love, and life. After all… aren’t they one and the same?
I am looking forward to your thoughts about this leadership revolution, "A Call to Hearts".Viva la revolution,Maria