Happy New Year!

                

On New Year’s Eve, we had a beautiful snowfall in the desert—a real treat! I love the start of a new year. In our home, we have a tradition of stating all that we were grateful for in the past year and proclaiming our hopes and intentions for the new.

This activity of reflection grounds us in the here and now. While this may sound like a contradiction, the activity of reflecting on the past and setting an intention for the future brings us fully present in the moment with awareness of our thoughts and feelings. It is not until we fully experience those full realizations combing thoughts and feelings can we release them to the past (which is where they belong) and focus our energy on creating the today and tomorrow we desire.

To realize your full intentions for 2013, follow these 10 powerful steps:

1. Be still. In your stillness, connect with your source and the universal knowledge that exists inside of you and be present in the moment.
2. Surrender your ego so you may fully hear your why and your purpose.
3. Imagine yourself fulfilling this purpose, your intention. Do not rush through this process, as the more detail you see, the more energy and focus will attach to your intention.
4. Don’t worry about the details in this stage; be open and go big. (We were never meant to be small).
5. Now feel the feelings and emotions that accompany this picture in your mind’s eye. Again, do not rush through this. Feel the excitement, fulfillment, and joy that accompany realizing your intention.
6. Visit this intention with the attitude of already fulfilling the intention. Fake it until you make it with this step!
7. Write this intention down and read it first thing in the morning and again before you go to sleep. Remember to write your intention in the present tense.
8. Determine steps necessary to fulfill your intention. Now is the time to exercise your backbone and not just your wishbone.
9. Do the work! Put action behind your intention.
10. Celebrate your milestones and always remember to envelope your actions and intentions in love and gratitude—you WILL succeed!

Dr. Dorothy Bonvillain and I are offering a telecourse to support you on your intentions, goals, and personal growth.  For more information, please follow this link.  http://shop.drmariachurch.com/Mastermind-TeleCourse-on-The-15-Invaluable-Laws-of-Growth-01012013.htm We do hope you will join us!

New Year blessings to you my dear friends.

With love and gratitude,
Maria

Let There Be Leadership Light!

“There are two ways of spreading light…To be a candle or the mirror that reflects it.” – Edith Wharton

In this season of light, I ponder what light represents in our lives and how that relates to our leadership. I love Edith Wharton’s perspective of spreading light, but what exactly does that mean?

Spreading light comes in the form of lighting up a room. As leaders, we can light up a room with our presence; being fully present to others. We do this by listening without distraction, giving our full attention to those around us.

We can also spread light through our attitudes and behaviors. We spread light through love, care, and compassion. Light takes away the darkness. We know that smiles are contagious and a great conduit to spreading light and love.

As leaders, we can also be the mirror that reflects light. Through encouragement and support of those we lead, we see the light in their eyes, their behaviors, and their attitudes. Mentoring those we lead, reflecting back their greatness is one of the most profound activities we can do as leaders.

We also reflect light by “lightening” the load of others. We can help lighten the heaviness of others by supporting our teams literally and figuratively. Serving those we lead is an example of love-based leadership.

Light in the darkness and lightening the load are profound ways we demonstrate love-based leadership. In this season of light, I wish you a blessed holiday season and a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year.

With light and love,
Maria

Choose Love

This is my first blog in the wake of last week’s insanity. Our children were stabbed on the other side of the world, our children on the other side of the country were killed, and our neighbor’s house was broken into and robbed. And there were many, many other infractions to our brothers and sisters.

We must stop.
We must stop the violence.
We must stop the doomsday mentality.
We must stop revenge.
We must stop ignoring mental illness.
We must stop pretending there is no darkness.
We must stop destroying each other.
We must stop destroying our planet.
We must stop our apathy.
We must stop our ignorance.
We must stop our arrogance.
We must stop creating an insane world.
We must stop living in ego.
We must stop choosing fear.
We must stop sleepwalking.
We must stop mindlessness.
We must stop separation.
We must stop pretending we are not connected to one another.
We must stop pretending that we not connected to the Divine.

We must shift to a force stronger than hatred, violence, revenge, and fear.

And that other force…simply…love.
Choose love.
I'm in!  Are you?

With the intensity of divine love,
Maria

Leadership Forgiveness In Motion: Part 3

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit,” Peter Ustinov stated. How do we develop this habit? Below are some strategies to help us live in the state of forgiveness.

Recognizing that we are stuck in an area or finding difficulty letting go of something (that nagging in your head and heart), let’s begin with naming the event and the people involved. Don’t rush through this exercise; sit with your thoughts and emotions. Now list all of the people in that scenario for whom you feel anger or resentment. Next to each name, identify the emotions you feel for that person. Again, do not rush through, but identify as many emotions you feel with each individual. As you begin to peel away the emotional layers with each person, honor each emotion without shoving it back in. As you experience each feeling, visualize the emotion as a dandelion, white with wispy seeds. After you have fully experienced your emotions, look at the dandelion. Gently blow and watch the soft white seeds break away, leaving only the stem, and releasing your emotions on each piece of the white seeds. Feel the freedom as the pieces blow away.

Another strategy is identifying those you blame or believe have contributed to a hurtful situation. List all of those people toward whom you blame or feel anger or resentment. Do not rush through this exercise. I must admit how surprised I was the first time I did the exercise that I had to use more than one sheet of paper!

Sometimes when we think about forgiving someone, we may resist because we don’t want to subject ourselves to possible abuse or hurt from that person. Again, forgiveness does not call for abuse or for us to be doormats. We can forgive someone without ever seeing him or her again. Forgiving someone does not require us to leave the safety of our own hearts and minds. Ours is a sacred space, safe and filled with love. Setting boundaries for others and ourselves is an important step in self-love.

How do you practice the beautiful freeing practice of forgiveness? I would love to learn your wisdom.

With love,
Maria

BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book.

Leadership Forgiveness of Self: Part 2

Because forgiveness is a state of being, action is required to move into that place or that state. Like so many other lessons, avoiding forgiveness is not static. Anger leads to judgment. (He is so mean, disrespectful, or vindictive when did that to me. She is so arrogant that she didn’t even realize she hurt me.) Judgment leads to blame, and blame leads to resentment. Resentment is unresolved anger and resentment hurts us, manifesting in stress-related illness, anxiety, or depression. Resentment hardens our hearts paving a path of vengeance. We can lose ourselves in judgment, condemnation, and conflict, all the while wondering why we are not happy and content.

Forgiveness is a choice. We take responsibility for our peace of mind and happiness when we choose to forgive. Many leaders think if we forgive, it is for the benefit of others. The primary advantage is that forgiveness benefits ourselves, and the primary function is removing ego separation bringing us back into our right mind with God. To make this choice, we experience a miracle.

The process of experiencing the miracle of forgiveness is perception shifting. The change in attitude comes to us through grace. Cultivating a practice of forgiveness first begins with self-forgiveness. Dr. Robin Casarjian describes six steps to practice self-forgiveness in her book, Forgiveness:

1. Acknowledge the truth.
2. Take responsibility for what you have done.
3. Learn from the experience by acknowledging the deeper feelings that motivated the behaviors and thoughts for which you now feel guilty and hold yourself in judgment.
4. Open your heart to yourself and compassionately listen to the fears and calls for help and acknowledgment deep within.
5. Heal emotional wounds by heeding the calls in healthy, loving, and responsible ways.
6. Align with your Self and affirm your fundamental innocence.

By practicing self-forgiveness, always remember to be gentle with yourself, suspending judgment, allowing and receiving miracles in this holy space. The miracle and shift in perception and attitude gives us insight about others and ourselves.

Practice self-forgiveness…why? The reason is just as the old Loreal commercial said, “Because I’m worth it!”

With love,
Maria

This is an excerpt from my new book.

Leadership Forgiveness - Part 1

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” ~ Robert Muller

Forgiveness is a challenging concept for many leaders. While we understand the idea and we know forgiveness when it happens, the vagueness surrounding forgiveness is illusive. The ambiguity enfolding forgiveness stems from our questions of how to bring about forgiveness and understanding, and from where it actually originated. To begin, let’s take a dive into the word itself.

For implies intention to someone, for the benefit of or on behalf of someone or something. Give is to pass on, to gift, or convey something to someone. Ness, is a suffix that implies a state of being. For-give-ness therefore, is a state of benefiting someone by giving something to him or her.

How did we even get here—the need or desire to forgive?

We look to practice forgiveness when we are angry, wronged, or hurt. Tormentors come in the form of resentment, guilt, or even shame. Oftentimes we hold on to anger as a form of power. We feel in control and ultimately powerful when we hold onto our anger, justified in our feelings and hoping that the person we believe hurt us may feel guilty or remorseful for what we perceive they have done to us. Avoiding forgiveness allows us to fuel our anger, feeling justified and entitled in our anger or pain as victims. This practice of avoidance may manifest through not communicating with the person who harmed us, furthering the growth of our anger. Avoiding forgiveness is avoiding responsibility. We are victims because we believe we have no power. Playing the victim role deepens the feelings of pain and anger justification. Each time we replay the event that caused us pain is another attempt to regain respect, acknowledgment, hope, and love.

This time of year stirs up many emotions for us. In this season of love, we take a dive into forgiveness with a 3-parter! On Tuesday, we’ll continue the discussion on forgiveness (Part 2) with a look at self-forgiveness.

With a loving heart,
Maria 

BTW - This is an excert from my new book!

Leadership Mentoring

I was just in a discussion today about mentoring. What exactly does this mean and why is it important for leadership to have a mentorship mindset? Mentorship is about sharing wisdom, and wisdom is gained from knowledge and experience. One of my favorite books about mentorship is, Mentoring: The TAO of Giving and Receiving Wisdom by Chungliang Al Huang and Jerry Lynch. Any good teacher will tell you that we learn so much from our students. The same is true with mentoring, it is an exchange, a dance of sharing wisdom, knowledge, and experiences with the intention of growth – for both parties. Of course, like most concepts we discuss, mentoring begins with self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-love. As written by Al Huang and Lynch, “It may seem clever to know and accept others; yet accepting oneself is the way to Wisdom. It may feel powerful to overcome others; yet disciplining oneself is true strength. It may be noble to honor others; yet respecting oneself is deep self-esteem.”

To practice mentoring, just remember MENTOR:

Motivation – discover the motivation in yourself and your mentee.
Exploration – encourage exploration of different perspectives, options, and opportunities.
Notice the feelings in both parties and explore their presence.
Talk less and listen more. Practice active listening and learn how to dance in the conversation.
Open – be open to learn from your mentee and the experience.
Respect – Always opt for respect without judgment.

What are the elements of mentorship that resonate with you?

Next time, we will explore coaching and how that differs from mentoring.

With love,
Maria

Steps to Leadership Self-Empowerment

I love the word empowerment, which means a state of being “in power.” According to Merriam-Webster, the word has three definitions: 

• to give official authority or legal power to
• enable
• to promote the self-actualization or influence of

When we self-empower, we are the ones to give authority, enable, and promote the self-actualization of ourselves! We give ourselves permission to be the best we can be, to live the best lives we choose.

Stepping into your power includes the following actions:

1. Awareness. We must walk through the doors of awareness to begin any practice of self-growth.
2. Identify any barriers that may hold you back, especially any negative self-talk or negative voices. List all of the negative thoughts that keep you from standing in your power and ask yourself if it is really true. Then ask yourself whom would you be without that thought? Design a plan based on your response.
3. Find your voice. Is it hidden under a blanket of self-doubt, fear, or insecurity? Identify these gremlins and negative voices and divorce yourself from them.
4. Identify any underlying beliefs you may have that no longer serve you and dismiss those to the wind.
5. Give yourself permission. Like the great Nike ad, Just do it! Kick fear to the door and be the person you want to be. Be bold and be love. As Basil King said, “Be bold and might forces will come to your aid.”
6. Find a coach or accountability partner to work with.

One of my favorite quotes from Marianne Williamson describes self-empowerment:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Who are you not to be empowered?

With love and power,
Maria

Leadership Impression

I just got back from New York City and four days of meeting over 70 media including television producers, writers, agents, and editors. I gave 2-minute pitches to all of these people, which felt like speed-dating! This got me thinking about the impression we make in 2 minutes, and how we could possibly influence someone to take action.

This is not a whole lot different from leadership. What sort of impression do we make with our leadership influence in 2 minutes? What kind of impression do we want to make? What is the lasting or lingering thought we wish to impart on someone?

Follow these simple IMAGE steps to create a lasting, positive impression:

Integrity – Stand in your integrity, be honest about who you are and what you stand for, demonstrating this with your behavior.

Mannerisms – Be cognizant of your body language. Are you open or closed? Are you inviting? Are you demonstrating confidence?

Appearance – Does you appearance match the impression and image you want to portray? Show up in presence as well, remembering to practice active listening more than speaking.

Greeting – Greet others with openness, kindness, warmth, and a smile. People do not always remember what we say to them, but they always remember how they felt when with us.

Enjoy the experience. We are more attracted to fun and joy than anything else.

Be the master and creator of impression. We always leave an impression, whether we are aware of that or not; so step into awareness and consciously create your leadership impression by choice.

With love,
Maria

Leadership Grace – Part 2

“Grace must find expression in life, otherwise it is not grace”, are words filled with wisdom by Karl Barth. With our divine quiet grace, it shines like an outward beacon. The 3 Cs are outward manifestations of inward grace: care, compassion, confidence. The confidence comes from our surrender, knowing we are guided by the powerful hand of God. Confidence is one of the elements that draw followers to great leaders. Warning – confidence is not arrogance. I love the Merriam-Webster definition of arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. You will notice that I emphasized all of the ego-related words in bold. Yes, arrogance is seeded from ego, whereas confidence is seeded from authenticity, from grace, from God.

Care and compassion are grace manifested in outward behaviors toward others. Sir Francis Bacon reminded us that grace is fulfilled when shared, “If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins to them.” He spoke of a heart filled with love and grace. Grace, too, is demonstrated through acts of sincere kindness to each other and all living things on earth. Care and compassion are vibrations of love.

Rabbi Heshel described grace under fire when he said, “In every moment something sacred is at stake, and even in that moment being attacked something sacred is at stake. Can I chose, or be awake or aware enough to see that going on and to say I need an imaginative, creative, loving response that keeps my power rather than give it over to that person and just act the way they want me to act.” Living in that state of imaginative, creative, loving response described, is living in grace. Reclaiming and retaining our power is the power of grace. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi lived in grace, retaining their power, while teaching love and peace. Rev. Ed Bacon describes grace manifested as a unifying breath. Grace allows us to break the cycle of violence and turmoil.

How is grace manifested in your leadership and life?

With love,
Maria

BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book.

Leadership Grace – Part 1

Why would grace be a lesson on leadership? How can it not? Grace is the state many wise leaders seek: grace under fire. The state of grace, however, is not just essential under fire; grace serves leaders all of the time. During times of stress, confusion, joy, and peace, grace is always at its best.

Many leadership books talk about policies, procedures, and processes. The extreme challenge in today’s organizations is that we value policies and procedures more than we value and honor people. As the Rev. Dr. King, Jr. said, we need a heart full of grace. Grace is found in love and personifies elegance, politeness, and generosity of spirit. An organization steeped in love, is an organization steeped in grace.

Grace is a word and concept ripe with different mental models for people. Most definitions and constructs have common elements such as beauty, elegance, dignified manner, generosity of spirit, and a gift from God. The ability to see beauty in anything is a gift of grace. Mother Teresa saw beauty in the poorest of the poor, when she said, “Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.” Grace is seeing with the heart and eyes of God. Victor Frankl described the worst of horrors in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. He told a story of sitting on the floor in the concentration camp eating soup, exhausted after laboring all day for the Nazis, when a fellow prisoner rushed in to ask them to join him outside to marvel at the wonderful sunset. Even in the midst of the heinous concentration camps, those prisoners understood the beauty of grace.

Grace is elegance personified. Many of my female executive clients work with me to reclaim their femininity in their high-level leadership positions. Through the process of reconnecting with their feminine energy, they discover elegance and grace. Elegance is refined confidence in self. It is a calm, quiet knowledge of self-efficacy that you can handle anything that comes your way with dignity. This comes from knowing you will never run out of resources because you are tapped into your source, the source of all resources, God. Grace through elegance is a powerful leadership example. I’ll never forget when Paula, a colleague 20 years my senior said to me, I never knew that a woman could lead with softness and femininity. I always thought you had to be tough, hard-nosed, and aggressive for others to follow. Thank you for showing me another way, an even more effective way. An authentic way. Paula learned the power of elegance and grace in leadership. She saw it in fact, move mountains.

How do you see grace manifested in your workplace?
 
I will continue my discussion on grace in my next blog post.

With love,
Maria

BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!

How to Cultivate Gratitude in Leadership and Life

I love talking about gratitude!  As promised, below are three activities to cultivate gratitude in our lives. 

I remember reading an article about gratitude several years ago. The author talked about keeping a gratitude journal. This idea intrigued me and I decided to commit to keeping this journal for a full year. Each day I listed at least five things for which I was grateful, big, or small. Some days the list was a dozen, other days I struggled to come up with five! Then something happened…I soon realized that I was receiving more of whatever it was that I was grateful! Abundance did indeed flow. Blessings surrounded me in my life; work, health, play, and love became much more rewarding than ever before. To this day, I still reflect on gratitude in my journal and continue to be blessed beyond belief. Keeping a gratitude journal has also enhanced the lives of many of my clients.

Cultivate and live in a state of gratitude. A state of gratitude is an attitude manifested in our behavior and thoughts. Be conscious of your thoughts, always shifting from fear to love, scarcity to abundance. Soon enough, gratitude will become your SOP or standard operating procedure! To tap into gratitude and abundance, presence, awareness, and mindfulness are requisites. Think gratitude. Cultivate an abundance cycle with an attitude of gratitude. The gifts already surround you; with presence, you will become aware of their existence. Your resulting joy will only serve to bring more to you of whatever it is you are grateful.

Move your thoughts into action. Tell those employees, family members, and friends that you are grateful for their presence in your life. And make sure to tell them why you are grateful. I recently had the tremendous honor to thank two very influential people in my life. It felt great to thank them, and even better to see the looks on their faces and feel the love in their hearts. What I gave them by expressing my gratitude; I truly received back in my heart tenfold.

What are some of the ways you cultivate gratitude in your life?

With gratitude and love,
Maria

PS - This is an excerpt from my new book! 

Leadership Perception Shifting Exercises

Are you ready to experience one of the most powerful leadership tools?  Perception shifting opens up your leadership understanding and builds leadership prowess.  When we add tools to our toolbox of skill sets, well let's just say that perception shifting is plugging in and using a turbo charged tool.  As promised, here are some activities to help exercise your perception-shifting muscle:

1. Find a photo from a magazine. Study the photo and tell a story about it. Make it as rich and deep as you can, developing the characters, setting, scene, and dialogue. Now look at the same photo and create a new story, from a different lenses or perspective. Again, develop all of the same elements for a rich, deep story. Practice this activity often to develop your ability to perception shift with ease.
2. Another fun exercise in perception shifting are the images of the young lady – old lady or the candlesticks – faces. These images are found online and are fun easy activities to train your brain to look for more than one perspective.
3. Recognize that your feelings are a good indicator of underlying beliefs and perceptions. If you are feeling worried, anxious, doubtful, or fearful, your emotions are indicating the existence of a belief that may no longer serve you. Reflect on the feeling and accompanying thought. Identify this perception and make the choice to shift your perception to one accompanied by positive feelings of excitement, joy, gratitude, and love. Remember, the ego looks to separate, divide, and is steeped in fear. Err on the side of love and you cannot go wrong.
4. When you feel stuck and cannot quite figure out what is holding you back, sit in reflection and ask, What belief, or perception could be reinforcing my current state, creating this outcome? Remember to think of the iceberg analogy, only a small portion will be at the surface. You will need to dive deep to find the core, root cause of this reality.
5. Another effective technique for uncovering perspectives that weigh you down is to ask why five times. This process allows you to dig deeper with each response to why. If you find you are getting somewhere, don’t stop at five!
6. A fun activity to practice perception shifting is to think of a situation and look at it from other people’s perspectives. Pick three of four people you know and look at the situation from what you believe their perspectives may be. I remember several years ago on a Seinfeld episode, an event happened and the show depicted the event from the four different perspectives of Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer.

Remember that perspective shifting requires awareness, choice, and the willingness to be open to other possibilities.

With love,
Maria

BTW - this is an excerpt from my new book!

Leadership Power Tool - Perception Shifting

I love the story of Plato’s cave! The shadows of the people outside the cave, distorted images from the fire flames, created a dark reality in the recesses of the cave. What dark reality exists within the confines of the caves of our mind?

Thoughts are powerful; they are the seeds to ideas, beliefs, creativity, attitudes, knowledge, wisdom, and reality. Thoughts can be our best friends or our worst enemies. Not by happenstance do thoughts come to us, these powerful seeds come to us through choice. Choice and thoughts are action movements directed by us whether we are conscious of these activities or not. The key lies in awareness of these two incredible gifts.

Negative self-talk are weeds that have grown in our minds. You know these voices, since many of us have cultivated these over years and decades:

• You can’t do...
• You should do….
• You shouldn’t…
• You’re too old…too young…too fat… too thin...
• Who do you think you are?

Sound familiar? We could probably add to the list with little effort! Often these voices are steeped in fear, anxiety, doubt, guilt, and shame. Our behaviors are a reflection of our beliefs. If we believe the negative self talk, how it that manifested in our behavior with ourselves and with others? Do we find that we become stuck, unable to accomplish that goal or unable to overcome our fear of something or someone?

Perception shifting is one of the most powerful lessons for leaders. Perception responses are deeply ingrained in our realities and are foundational to the way we think, see, believe, understand, and behave in our lives. In Thursday’s blog post I will share with you some activities to help exercise your perception-shifting muscle.

With love,
Maria

Open Leaders

Living with two bulging, herniated discs can be a pain (no pun intended), especially in our rainy season, when my back seems extra sore. During a family barbecue, my sister, a RN, asked if I was experiencing pain. When I asked why she inquired, she said that I looked like I was guarding. This is a medical term indicating when a person has pain somewhere in their body they become rigid as though to protect the area from further pain or injury. We do the same in our lives with our minds and hearts. We protect ourselves from perceived pain, we guard.

To be open, for many of us, means to be vulnerable. We’ve been open and been hurt; at least that explains some of the our experiences. Ego loves it when we stay closed and works over-time to ensure we do not enter openness. “Remember when you did that before and…” is one of the many voices of ego.

When we are open, the gates of Divine guidance, to intention, to the flow of Holy Spirit happen. Closing the gates of our minds and hearts is insanity. Why do the barriers to openness show up, guarding our sacred spaces? Ego, again is the answer. Blocks to openness manifest in the forms of negative voices cemented in our dialogue and culture. Evidence of this insanity in our workplaces includes statements like, Nice guys finish last, or when considering doing something nice for someone (a favor), If you do that for one, you’ll have to do it for everyone, or No good deed goes unpunished.

Opening our perceptions and inviting in the Holy Spirit through surrender, allows healing of the mind and heart to take place. Through healing, the ego no longer has hold on the barriers and blocks to the gates of openness. Just as a clenched fist cannot receive a gift, a closed mind cannot grow and a closed heart cannot receive love.

Steps to openness:

1. Always, the first step is reflection. In what areas of your life do you feel closed or blocked to openness? Work? Love? Spirituality? Journal your thoughts.
2. Practice random acts of kindness. These do not need to be grand, sometimes the smaller the better!
3. Another way to develop compassion is to let go of your need to be right,

What other ways can we practice being open?

With an open heart,
Maria

Intentional Leadership

For many, intention is defined as a motivation, a drive, or an ambition to succeed. It can be a demonstration of force, determination, or your immutable will to attain or accomplish something indicates that you have a firm intention. These are examples of our Western mental model of intention. A deeper understanding of the power of intention, described by Carlos Castaneda, suggests, “In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link”. This is not a model of perseverance or a mindset where only the fit (determined) survive, but a realization, again, of the connection to each other and to our Source, God. What this model of intention describes for us, as leaders, is that we are not alone in this organization, community, country, or even universe: but we are together, linked to the energetic force of intention.

Why is intention crucial to our leadership? It is the purpose, the why we are here, our belief in something greater than we are. Intention is how we derive meaning. In order to create a vision for our companies, or even our lives, we must first ask, why? Tapping into the power of intention requires clearing space in our minds and allowing and trusting our intuitive insights to flow.

Here are some exercises you can do to lead with intention: 

1. Knowing your values helps bring clarity to what is meaningful to you. Identify ten important values. Narrow the list down to your top five and write a sentence or two explaining what the values mean to you and why they are important.

2. Look at your calendar and review how you spend your time. Do the activities on your calendar align with your values? If not, why?

3. Create a mind map on a clean sheet of paper, in the center of the paper write, “My purpose for living this life is…” and circle it. Now draw lines out from this circle with as many ideas that flow into your head and heart and draw circles around each one of those words or statements, always connecting the circles with lines to the center circle of your purpose for living.

4. Using the above information you have developed, write a purpose statement, including the activities involved in achieving that purpose, people necessary to support you, and the value you provide to others.

Enjoy the process and see what you discover!

Let me know what you unearth.

With love,

Maria

Delays in Leadership, Love and Life

As I started preparing for the day, I read this statement: 



I let go of anything and everything that could delay my good in any way.

Hmmm…


Of course, as I so often do, I contemplated how this might apply to leadership.

Leadership is the action that motivates people toward a vision. Therefore, if the vision is the “good” in the above statement, we need to ask ourselves, “What gets in the way that could cause delay of achieving your vision?” In other words, what no longer serves you?

We discuss this topic a lot with our clients. It is a great exercise to stop and check-in with yourself regularly, asking, what no longer serves me?

Some possible delays to our good or vision may include: 

• Underlying beliefs that no longer serve us
• Ego
• Clutter (literal and physical)
• The need to be right
• Noise (literal and physical)
• Fear
• Poor health
• Lack of sleep
• Lack of knowledge
• Lack of anything…
• Toxic relationships

Once you’ve identified what gets in your way of achieving your good or your vision, it is time to let it or them go. Time to move into action, ridding yourself of anything and everything that gets in your way. This is the time to start exercising your backbone instead of your wishbone. You are the architect of your life, the author of your book. This is not a dress rehearsal. If you don’t like what you see…change it!

What gets in your way, delaying your good, or your vision?

In love, and without delay,
Maria

Leadership Awareness

“When you contain control of the internal direction of your attention, you will no longer stand in shallow water but will launch out into the deep of life”, as written by Neville in the Power of Awareness.

Recently working with a client, she was so joy-filled in her practice of awareness. Awareness, as she described was like opening gift after gift. She couldn’t wait to see what the next gift contained.

We went on to discuss how amazingly simple is the concept and practice of awareness, and how the gift of awareness is an incredible tool for leadership and life. Sure, becoming aware and practicing awareness may seem awkward at first, but it is like a muscle that hasn’t been exercised for a while. And with practice, awareness will become well-developed and second nature for you.

How do we practice the art of awareness? Below are a few simple steps to move from the shallow water into the depths of life: 

• Develop an awareness mindset. Think of awareness like breathing. Breath is required for life, just as awareness is required for living. Without awareness, we just go through the motions.
• Begin with self-awareness, going inward instead of observing outward.
• Just stop…thinking, doing, planning, and just be still (start with just a few moments and build your time each day).
• Write or journal every day. Don’t worry about editing or even what you will write. Just write whatever comes to you. You will see some patterns emerge.
• Sit with those thoughts and reflect on what you have written.
• Expand your inner, self-awareness to the external world; only this time, look and listen to the small things like the hum of the air-conditioner, the chirping of the birds, or the very tiny ant moving in front of you.
• Listen to what is not being said at the next meeting you attend. Observe the way your team members talk and move. What comes to light that you previously missed?

When you start practicing these activities, you will start to notice a completely new world. You will wonder when the birds moved into a tree near your back yard, notice how exquisite the mountains or sunsets look, and a host of other gifts that previously went unnoticed. You will find the beauty in new gifts arriving to and for you daily. You will find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

With loving awareness,
Maria

Leadership Perspective a Year Later

“Wow! What a fantastic day! Yesterday, the meeting with Dr. Wayne Dyer elated me. Tonight, I feel a sense of calm excitement. Is that an oxymoron? Maybe, but that exactly describes how I feel.

I have decided to slow down – do maintenance work on my business, a few teaching contracts, and spend time on me! I am going to read, exercise, pray, and meditate. I am going to slow down and go inward. I am going to focus on me, now.”

I wrote this entry in my journal during a conference in Tampa, where many of my favorite inspirational authors spoke. It was the end of the year and the end of an era. The era of which I speak is my era in Corporate America. I left my comfortable, six-figure income to launch my own company, write, and to continue speaking and teaching about leadership. It was both exciting and simultaneously, terrifying.

Entering my 5th decade, I always thought of myself as self-aware. Yes, that is true to a point; however, I did not realize what the depths of having a relationship with myself really meant. I knew it was time to do the work, go inward, and take the deep dive. I was embarking on a journey of the most profound relationship in my life – my relationship with myself.

From a coaching and leadership perspective, I wonder how effective we can truly be in leading and coaching others without really knowing and leading ourselves? We know that most of our coaching clients eventually find the path of growth in their own relationship with self before moving forward in other areas. This is where all growth begins, for us as well as our clients, and we don’t call it “growing pains” for nothing!

Forgiveness
As I began my journey inward, I realized immediately that my first step to having an authentic self-relationship began with an exercise in forgiveness. I listed all of those people towards whom I harbored resentment and hurt, with the ultimate goal of forgiving them. Wow –I was surprised when the list got so long. It was a difficult exercise, and yet, so amazingly freeing. I swear I lost 20 pounds at the end of the exercise! During this time, I was working with an amazing coach who taught me a meditation of forgiving these people and myself for holding the resentment and fear. I visualized myself walking to the door of the person’s soul, their true essence, knocking, and asking if I could come in. I was surprised that one or two said “no” initially. That was OK, because I came back later, until they said yes!

Once in, we would sit down and talk, soul to soul, essence to essence. When we sought forgiveness, love filled our space and both of us were free. This beautiful exercise is very effective and simple to do anywhere, anytime, in the safety of our office, or our client’s home.

Time
Time was not my friend, especially in the early months of my journey. As a Type A personality, I was always in a rush, never in harmony with time. It was very difficult for me to learn to slow down and meditate, especially when I had so much to do. A funny thing happened on the way to a relationship with me – I learned a secret: You must slow down to move faster. I would have never believed this a year ago! However, I found that when I did slow down, meditate, and lavish myself with time to think, I became much more productive and completed tasks in shorter periods of time.

Fear
The next corner of my journey took me down a path I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to go – fear. As we do with many of our clients, I started to identify underlying beliefs that no longer served me. I identified beliefs about fear that held me back in weight loss, success, and putting myself out there for all to see. Again, with the expertise of my coach, I visualized myself on a track, running a relay. As I tired of the baton, representing a belief that no longer served me, I handed it to God, who ran the next leg of the relay. He was gorgeous with his long flowing hair – I have always been a sucker for men with long hair! As soon as I handed the baton to God, within the first few steps, the baton– fear – dissolved in his hands. As I sit here now, typing this visualization, I still feel the warmth of love filling me, where fear used to reside.

Stuff
Out of the fear-zone on the journey, the next section of road was a lesson of “stuff.” In June, we went to Detroit to celebrate my in-law’s 50th wedding anniversary. We had a wonderful time and two nights before we arrived home, my sister’s husband called to tell us there was a fire in the mountains and canyon where our home was located. He said we did not have to evacuate, but wanted to know what we wanted from our home in the event there was an evacuation.

As we arrived home, the fire escalated and within one hour of our arrival, a sheriff knocked on the door and told us we were on pre-evacuation alert. I immediately moved our clothes from the suitcase to the washer, dryer, and back in the suitcase. We were packed and ready to move. That night we “slept” in our own bed, but not really. We did not want to miss the mandatory evacuation call, should it come.

The next morning, we received the mandatory evacuation notice to leave our home. We went to my sister’s home, where we again, had to evacuate due to the rage and speed of the Monument Fire. The fire burned for over a week in our mountains and four canyons. Forty homes and a half-dozen business were lost.

One month after we returned to our home, spared by the fire, we had a major flood. Nearly five feet of mud, ash, and debris rushed down the mountains along with boulders the size of Volkswagens, because there was no ground cover or trees to hold them in place. Within 30 minutes of the sludge subsiding, neighbors and friends emerged from their homes, armed with shovels, smiles, and hugs to help those affected by the flood.

I lost much and gained more during this year. I lost my attachment to “things” and gained an appreciation for my family, friends, and neighbors. I lost my fear about money, and gained gratitude for the wealth and abundance already in my life. I lost a sense of arrogance, and gained humility in service to others. I lost my busy-ness, and gained the power of now and presence. I lost my mindless activities and gained awareness that my thoughts and feelings are my best friends. I lost my unconsciousness and gained awareness. I lost the ego view of myself and met me. The year of The Monument Fire...was a good year.

With love, joy, and gratitude,
Maria

Leadership Discomfort

As a leadership coach, I am always excited when a powerful question or statement crosses my path or better yet, slams me in the face! Yesterday, I had such an encounter. Seth Godin got my attention when he stated, “If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader”. He was talking about the discomfort we sometimes feel as a leader and furthermore, when we identify the discomfort, we’ve found a place where leadership is needed. His list includes:

• Standing up in front of strangers 
• Proposing an idea that may fail
• Challenging the status quo
• Resisting the urge to settle

I DO love those moments that move me out of my comfort zone and into what I call a “seat squirming” state. I know when I start squirming, I am onto to something, and that something is usually growth!

Of course, I also like to state things in a positive frame, so my list may look something like:

• Motivating people in the direction of a shared goal
• Creating and innovating with others, living in a synergy zone
• Thinking outside the box and trying something that “hasn’t been done before”
• Pushing myself and others to live in creativity and authenticity, even when it may be more work

My list not only feels good when I put it on, but it moves me beyond comfort to electric energy. What are your thoughts? Comfortable? Discomfort? What would you add to the list? As always, I truly appreciate your insight.

With electric energy and love,
Maria