How can I gain influence with my team? How do I influence my boss?I’ve heard repeatedly from my clients, students, and colleagues these questions. While teaching leadership or marketing courses, I’ve often thought…Leading people and marketing are really the same activity. Isn’t the primary objective of both to influence people in the direction of a goal?You may challenge that statement! True, marketing and leadership could sometimes be an activity of manipulation, and not of influence. We have seen and experienced this many times in both marketing and leadership.Both activities of influence and manipulation have power. The key is that only one has sustainability. Manipulation can be an effective influencing tactic, but it is not sustaining; in fact, it is exhausting!Influence, on the other hand, is nurturing, motivating, and full of momentum. In today’s video are 10 specific strategies to increase your influence.I would love to hear from you. What else would you add to this list to increase your influence? What time did you gain buy-in and what strategy did you use?With love,Maria
Intuition and Decision Making in the Workplace
Using intuition for decision-making is a powerful technique used by successful leaders. However, using intuition in the workplace may be tricky because Western culture loves proof, anything empirical that has evidential credibility attached to it. I’ll never forget an experience I had early in my corporate career. One of the first meetings I had in my new position leading the marketing division was a meeting with the company president. I was excited and nervous. Having done my homework in the area of our planned discussion, I was ready. The meeting began smoothly and I felt confident in my knowledge and insight. Then, my moment came. The president asked me about my thoughts. I promptly answered, “I feel …” and immediately was interrupted by him with words that cut to my core, “Maria, I don’t care about your feelings, tell me what you know”.That experience was the first of many that unfortunately taught me how to not listen to my intuition. Enter spreadsheets. Luckily, I only followed this mode of operation for a few years, before I realized that my previous way of decision-making served me much more efficiently and effectively, which was of course using my intuition.Intuition is a power tool that all successful leaders use, like an internal GPS. I found through working with my clients that some of these leaders have to re-learn how to use intuition because in many of our corporate and work experiences, we learn how to not listen to it.In today’s episode, I share with you a simple strategy to develop and re-connect with your intuition, by just remembering the acronym:I N T U I T I O NAs always, I would love to hear from you. How have you used intuition in your job, career, or personal life?With love,Maria
Secrets and Challenges
The secrets of leadership include awareness, mindfulness, intuition, power listening, and perception shifting. These five skills are innate, although they become buried for many of us based on our cultural upbringing. The great news is that they never go away! Reconnecting with and developing these five leadership essentials are key to successful leadership. These skills help leaders know themselves better, enabling them to understand and influence others. Let’s face it: leadership is about influence. We cannot influence others in an authentic and effective manner without first understanding ourselves as well as those whom we lead.The challenges that leaders face take on many forms. When we peel back the layers of challenges or problems, we find that in most cases the same root cause affects everything – fear. Manifesting itself in many forms, fear shows up as ego, micro-management, misunderstandings, and reactionary behaviors. When we learn to recognize the underlying cause (fear), we then will know how to rectify the real problem instead of just putting on a band-aid or superficial fix. When we only treat the problems superficially, we experience the same issues repeatedly.What is your biggest challenge with leadership and what secret solution do you have? As always, I love hearing your insight.With love,MariaDr. Maria Church, CPC, is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance and her upcoming book, A Course in Leadership: 21 Spiritual Lessons on Leadership, Love, and Life. Maria holds a doctorate of management in organizational leadership, teaches at several universities, and is CEO of Dr. Maria Church International LLC, a leadership coaching, development, and training firm. For more information, visit www.DrMariaChurch.com.
Leadership Secrets: Unlock Your Potential
While some of us demonstrate leadership skills naturally, I do not believe that leadership skills cannot be learned. I have seen many leaders who innately have great leadership potential, but do not use it; and I have seen leaders who choose to learn to be great leaders. I believe the combination of our authentic innate skills and characteristics (whatever those may be) along with proper education and training, and coupled with heart-based thinking, will produce fabulous, irresistible leadership.
The secrets of leadership include awareness, mindfulness, intuition, power listening, and perception shifting. These five skills are innate, although they become buried for many of us based on our cultural upbringing. The great news is that they never go away! Reconnecting with and developing these five leadership essentials are key to successful leadership. These skills help leaders know themselves better, enabling them to understand and influence others. Let’s face it: leadership is about influence. We cannot influence others in an authentic and effective manner without first understanding ourselves as well as those whom we lead.
With love,
Maria
Dr. Maria Church, CPC, is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance and her upcoming book, A Course in Leadership: 21 Spiritual Lessons on Leadership, Love, and Life. Maria holds a doctorate of management in organizational leadership, teaches at several universities, and is CEO of Dr. Maria Church International LLC, a leadership coaching, development, and training firm. For more information, visit www.DrMariaChurch.com.
WIIFM?
What’s in it for me? As an entrepreneur and leader of my own business, I often take this perspective of my clients when I write marketing copy and have client conversations. Framing thoughts this way helps me identify the benefits for clients and potential customers.
The funny thing about this thought, WIIFM is that it is not only on the minds of our customers, it is also on the minds of our team members and those we lead. While they may not directly ask, “What’s in it for me?” they are definitely thinking it!
If we can frame our leadership guidance and requests with the mindset of what’s in it for them, we can open up new ways to motivate our teams, clients and customers for more engagement, commitment, productivity, and loyalty; resulting in tremendous benefit to our companies and organizations.
Don’t wait for our teams and customers to fill in the blanks of what’s in it for them, just communicate to them up front the benefits and results they can expect from joining you or buying your product or service.
Don’t you just love win-win scenarios?
With love,
Maria
Dr. Maria Church, CPC, is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance and her upcoming book, A Course in Leadership: 21 Spiritual Lessons on Leadership, Love, and Life. Maria holds a doctorate of management in organizational leadership, teaches at several universities, and is CEO of Dr. Maria Church International LLC, a leadership coaching, development, and training firm. For more information, visit www.DrMariaChurch.com.
Leading with Fear Works!
Many of us learned how to lead with fear…and it works…sort of. Leading with fear comes with a price.Using fear as a motivation technique is sometimes effective, but the key to understanding the use of fear is that this method is not sustainable. When leaders and managers leverage fear in the workplace, it is important for them to understand that while it may move people immediately in the direction in which they want to go, it also immediately erodes trust.Know that when employees are motivated and moved by fear, employee movement continues both literally and figuratively. Employees start planning their escape. Literally, they escape by leaving the organization. Oops, there goes another one. We know the expense of employee turnover.Even more significant are the employees who escape figuratively…read “employee disengagement”. Employees disengage when they distrust. When people check out, they are not motivated, productive, or loyal. Think of the cost to your organization with a team who has checked out.Fear is not sustaining; in fact, fear is debilitating to an organization.We need to recognize that fear is the go-to method for many leaders and managers -- we learned it, cultivated it, and thought we perfected it. I challenge you to reconsider this technique due to the long-term destructive ramifications. Get your creative juices flowing for more innovative, value-centered, and love-based approaches to influence others.What are more effective techniques you use to motivate your team? Please share your comments below.As always, I love hearing your ideas.With love,MariaDr. Maria Church, CPC, is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance and her upcoming book, A Course in Leadership: 21 Spiritual Lessons on Leadership, Love, and Life. Maria holds a doctorate of management in organizational leadership, teaches at several universities, and is CEO of Dr. Maria Church International LLC, a leadership coaching, development, and training firm. For more information, visit www.DrMariaChurch.com.
Lead Without Being Bossy
I often come across leaders who want to be strong leaders but don’t want to be bossy. Many of the leadership models and examples they’ve experienced are aggressive, pushy, and downright nasty…and they don’t want to be like that!Yet, this same group of people doesn’t want to be “weak” or considered pushovers. They don’t see strong leaders being taken advantage of, not listened to, or not respected.Well the great news is that you don’t need to lead at either end to be a great leader.Strong, powerful leaders all have something in common and it doesn’t hurt or require you to do something super-human.Follow these seven practices and you’ll be leading without being bossy in no time:
- Ask questions before you talk. Find out what your team needs.
- Listen, really listen to their responses.
- Get dirty. Don’t ask your team to do anything that you would not do.
- Walk the talk. Maintain your integrity and do what you say you are going to do.
- Take responsibility for yourself and your team. When you honor them, they will honor you.
- Care about your people, individually and collectively. Remember that actions speak louder than words.
- Don’t rely on unspoken expectation. Be very clear what is expected of your team and of you.
- Invite people to participate rather than telling. Rarely, if ever, will your team decline the “invitation”. If you are following these principles, your team will not only accept the invitation, they will probably follow you wherever you go!
What else would you add to this list of being a great leader without being bossy? As always, I love hearing from you.With love,MariaDr. Maria Church, CPC, is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance and her upcoming book, A Course in Leadership: 21 Spiritual Lessons on Leadership, Love, and Life. Maria holds a doctorate of management in organizational leadership, teaches at several universities, and is CEO of Dr. Maria Church International LLC, a leadership coaching, development, and training firm. For more information, visit www.DrMariaChurch.com.
Imagine Leading in Peace
Imagine all the peopleLiving life in peaceYou may say that I'm a dreamerBut I'm not the only oneI hope someday you'll join usAnd the world will be as one. - John LennonYesterday would have been John Lennon’s 73rd birthday.When I look at lyrics from his famous song, Imagine, I am struck by the simplicity of his statements and the call to action. Living life in peace is possible in our world, our countries, our communities, our organizations, and our families. Peace begins with us, and feeling peaceful within ourselves. Of course, our internal peace is steeped in self-love.Feeling peaceful in our workplaces is sometimes challenging, but not impossible. To shift to peace, requires awareness and a commitment to live life in peace. Envision who you would be living and leading your life in peace and hold that vision until it becomes reality.Yes, it is true…I am a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us.With love while holding the dream,MariaDr. Maria Church, CPC, is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance and her upcoming book, A Course in Leadership: 21 Spiritual Lessons on Leadership, Love, and Life. Maria holds a doctorate of management in organizational leadership, teaches at several universities, and is CEO of Dr. Maria Church International LLC, a leadership coaching, development, and training firm. For more information, visit www.DrMariaChurch.com.
Bring on Resistance?
I just watched an interview by Oprah with writer, Steven Pressfield. A thought struck me during this interview and I had one of those “Aha!” moments. Pressfield wrote in his book, The War of Art, “Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance”.I felt a pang in my heart when I heard this. Was the pang for the unlived life or a deep knowing that resistance still plays a role in my life?Perhaps both.What I love about Pressfield’s teaching on resistance is his explanation that resistance is a force of in nature, a natural occurrence that exists when we have movement or action. The key is to recognize this as something that will happen as we evolve and grow; that it is not us (even though it takes form in our thoughts) and that we just need to push through resistance. One such way to push through resistance is meditation. Meditation can actually bring us up above the resistance, like a hurdle jumper on a track. The runner does not stop and turn back with a hurdle—she jumps over it. Meditation allows us to jump over resistance.The other aspect about this understanding of resistance is the positive side of resistance. Resistance can be a beautiful affirmation that we are moving closer to action, movement, and creating something significant. If we are not feeling some resistance, we are not growing and expanding. Woohoo – bring it on!As always, I love hearing your thoughts. What are you resisting and why?Without resistance or hesitation,MariaContent copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Today or Tomorrow - Which One?
“Today is great. Tomorrow is even greater.”
I just read this statement and immediately began to ponder it with questions, thoughts, emotions, and opinions. Yes, today and the precious moments of this time, this moment with fingers tapping on the keyboard, is the most precious gift of all – presence.
We’ve heard lessons and advise to not live in the past. I know many who do live in the past (myself included), reliving the stories of being hurt, victimized, or even greatness. The kicker about living in the past is that we just spent the precious moments of the present – poof, gone!
Focus on tomorrow, that is a tricky one! If we put all of our focus on tomorrow, the same phenomenon as living in the past occurs – current time spent with no refund.
Perhaps the answer lies in balance. We give a nod of honor and respect to the past including life lessons and joys. We include a nod to the future with respect, wonder, and awe.
And all of this is wrapped up with the bow of the present…fingers tapping on the keyboard.
What does this statement mean to you? As always, I love hearing your thoughts.
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
LoveFest 2013
I am so excited to share with my latest project with you – LoveFest 2013!
Along with Laura Wilson, CPC, (Love Coach Laura), we are honoring 11 other people who integrate love into their work in BIG ways!
This FREE virtual event, LoveFest 2013, next week, September 16 – 19 demonstrates the exciting transformational shift from fear and competition modalities toward love and collaboration with heart-based methods.
Our speakers represent thirteen major areas of life (politics, leadership, business, money, health, sports, community, relationships, self, intention, networking, social media, sales, and education) experiencing the profound benefits of shifting to a love-based approach.
You will hear from money and business expert, Maria Simone, sales expert Carolyn Coradeschi, social media and marketing coach, Tassey Russo, the go to business coach for healers, Karen Monteverdi, bullying prevention expert, Vicki Abadesco, and several other experts bringing love to work in corporate America, communities, schools, business, health/wellness, weight loss, making money, sports, arts, and of course, relationships.
Not only will you hear 13 of us talk about this shift from fear to love, but you will hear about the incredible results that we and our clients are experiencing from this shift!
I sure do hope you will join us at our FREE virtual event, LoveFest 2013. Just click here to register!
Don’t miss Jone Bosworth, J.D.’s interview, “Unchain the Heart of Democracy”, or Sandy Zeldes’s interview, “Love: Your Weight-Loss Solution” and so much more!
Join us today!
Register at http://www.LoveFest2013.com
“See you” at the Fest!
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Shiny Object Syndrome
I sometimes find it easy to lose focus and become distracted — the shiny object syndrome.
Working with a client yesterday, she posed the question, “How do I move past the I won’t and/or I can’t thoughts to the I will intentions?
What a great question! I love the level of awareness required to recognize that our thoughts become our intentions – whether those thoughts serve and support us or derail and limit us. Our thoughts become our intentions and those intentions really do become our reality.
Bravo, for recognizing that simple, yet profound truth!
Here is a very simple three-step quickening exercise you can do to move your thoughts and actions from “I won’t/I can’t” to “I will”:
- Set your intention or goal as simply and distinctly as possible.
- When something comes up (a shiny object), just simply ask yourself, “Does this support my intention or goal?”
- If the answer is yes, move forward. If the answer is no, dismiss it and get back to I will so you can realize your intention and goal.
Really, it is that simple; however, I must warn you—the results you will experience will be profound!
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Your Way Out of Conflict
Like presence, when we fully connect with those with whom we are communicating, when we find common ground, we come together. Our ability to find common ground is easy when you combine presence, power listening, and perception shifting, with intuition.
Discover shared values, shared objectives, shared goals, and/or a shared vision. You are now on your way to discovering the true issue of the conflict. This clarity creates a shifted environment to now empathize with this person, which will move you into a collaborative vibe.
Once you’ve determined the true issue, now together, you can create a shared vision of collaboration…a plan to move forward. Remember as you create your plan of collaboration, apply the four actions of presence, power listening, perception shifting, and intuition, while always staying focused on common ground.
When you create your plan of collaboratively moving forward, remember to include follow-up, keeping the lines of communication open, demonstrating your commitment to improvement, and always be gracious—thanking the person for bringing this issue to your attention. Shoot for always ending the conversation on a positive note.
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
De-Compartmentalized Leading and Living
When we neglect to look at the whole person, especially the spiritual dimension, we overlook a strong and powerful resource. Our spirituality grows in wisdom, and it is in wisdom that the world’s most powerful resource is used. “Life and livelihood ought not be separated, but to flow from the same source, which is Spirit, for both life and livelihood are about Spirit. Spirit means life, and both life and livelihood are about living in depth, living with meaning, purpose, joy, and a sense of contribution to the greater community. A spirituality of work is about bringing life and livelihood back together again. And spirit with them.”1
We cannot compartmentalize our spirit; it is like compartmentalizing our breathing from our brain: impossible. In a study of spirituality in the workplace, Mitroff and Denton found that, “People do not want to compartmentalize or fragment their lives. The search for meaning, purpose, wholeness, and integration is a constant never-ending task. To confine this search to one day a week or after hours violates people’s basic sense of integrity, of being whole persons. In short, soul is not something one leaves at home.”2
How have you managed to de-compartmentalize your life?
Love,
Maria
1. Matthew Fox, The Reinvention of Work, pp. 1-2.
2. Ian I. Mitroff and Elizabeth A. Denton, A Spiritual Audit of Corporate America (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1999), pp. xv-xvi.
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Fear-Based Leadership Vision Statement
Fear-based leadership exists, but can easily be erased.
Remember that both fear and love cannot be present at the same time.
Love-Based Leadership (LBL) doesn’t look like fear, doesn’t smell like fear, and doesn’t walk like fear. Perfect love drives out all fear. LBL doesn’t just proclaim that people are important because it says so on the mission statement posted on the wall. LBL leaders do not say one thing and do another.
An organization where LBL is not practiced is secretive: a fertile ground for non-truth. An organization without LBL is steeped in office politics and scarcity thinking—the fear that resources are limited and everyone is out to get yours. Information is not shared, rather, it is hoarded. There is no sign of spirit or energy.
The focus and vision of organizations where LBL is not practiced (a fear-based organization) could read:
We recognize there is only a limited amount of (money, people, projects, resources) and we will do anything to make sure we’ve got most, if not all of it (money, people, etc.). We tell our people they are important and they believe us because they are incapable of making any decisions on their own. We are the best because we said so.
What do you think a Love-Based Leadership vision statement would say?
As always, I love hearing your perspective.
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Wakeup Call!
When sleeping women wake, mountains move. ~ Chinese proverb
I love the power of this statement. I would like to expand it to read, “When sleeping people wake, mountains move.”
The most obvious interpretation of this is when we get into our day with focused attention; we get a lot of work done.
But ahhh, as we know, Chinese proverbs go much deeper, and so do I, so let’s get right to it!
When we “wake up” from unconsciousness, we move obstacles and barriers to love – also known as fear and ego. Our fear and ego sometimes feels like mountains. The only way to “move” the mountains is to eliminate the fear and ego with the supreme power of love.
We can only know the truth of love with consciousness.
It is time to set the alarm – this is a wakeup call! Good morning mountain movers.
What practices do you do to stay “awake” and conscious? I always love to hear from you and sharing your insight.
With love from your fellow mountain mover,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Tell the Truth
We must learn to honor ourselves with truth. By being honest with ourselves and not allowing others’ non-truths into our psyche, we acknowledge that we love and respect ourselves.
By respecting ourselves, we don’t accept other’s false realities. Iyanla Vanzant recognized that, for most of us, it isn’t difficult to tell when someone isn’t being truthful with us; the challenge is how to call them on their non-truth. She suggested we reply, “While that may sound truthful to you, it doesn’t feel truthful to me.”
What a great line! When we are truthful with ourselves, we remember our divine nature and we do not let anyone treat us with a lack of respect or dignity.
What are your thoughts about truth telling and truth receiving?
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Micromanagement is a Four-Letter Word
Micromanagement is really just FEAR-Management.
In the workplace, fear-based leadership is manifested in a number of ways. We see fear in leadership when employers do not trust the employees to do the jobs for which they were hired. Many managers are fearful of losing control, resulting in micromanagement. Micromanagement is a classic display of fear.
I once had a student challenge me when we were discussing micromanagement in class. He thought the concept was exaggerated. I then shared with him an experience I had while working with a homebuilder. We were opening up a new community in a different state than our corporate headquarters. After we selected a mailbox and a holiday green color (the same color as the community logo), management asked that we paint the mailbox we selected using the exact same green paint and then ship it back to corporate headquarters for the company president to approve the mailbox and paint color!
What are your worst micromanagement stories?
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
Let Freedom Ring
Happy Independence Day to all of my fellow Americans!
Today is a day that we celebrate life’s freedom with gratitude. I have a very long list of life’s freedoms for which I am grateful. Topping that list is my ability to make choices.
And we always can make a choice…always!
Dr. Viktor Frankl, one of my greatest mentors, was a brilliant psychiatrist captured by the Nazis and imprisoned in a series of concentration camps. His notes of his work and all of his possessions were seized. Stripped of everything, literally and figuratively, he was given a number to replace his name. “The experience of camp life shows that man does have a choice of action,” Frankl stated in Man’s Search for Meaning, “Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.” Dr. Frankl realized this truth when he wrote, “What alone remains is ‘the last of human freedoms’—the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.”
Those are very wise and applicable words then, and today. When we place ourselves in a victim role, we are victims. We do create our own realities. However, we have a choice in how that reality looks, as co-creators. We can choose to create a different perception, a different reality.
Let freedom ring!
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.
The Bull S#%T About Power
Let’s break open the lid on the belief that power must be kept tightly in order to be effective – BULL S#%T!
Power, like abundance and love, multiplies when you give it away.
That is why I cannot understand why leaders are so afraid to share power and empower others.
Power multiples when you give it away – really!
Boleman and Deal wrote in Leading with Soul, “When people have a sense of efficacy and an ability to influence their world, they usually seek to be more productive. They direct their energy and intelligence toward making a contribution rather than obstructing progress or destroying their enemies.” At Saturn automobile factories, employees are empowered to stop the assembly line any time they see something wrong. The employees have pride and ownership in their product and they are the quality control.
Another benefit of shared power is the reduction in conflict. We often suppress our feelings when we feel powerless. When this happens, our anger can only be contained for so long, then the conflict and anger comes spewing out, often times in a rage. Empowered people empower others. In a Love-Based Leadership organization, shared power equals shared ownership. You cannot have one without the other.
Have you empowered someone today? If not, what is holding you back?
With love,
Maria
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.