Shiny Object Syndrome

September 3, 2013 DrMaria

I sometimes find it easy to lose focus and become distracted — the shiny object syndrome.

Working with a client yesterday, she posed the question, “How do I move past the I won’t and/or I can’t thoughts to the I will intentions?

What a great question! I love the level of awareness required to recognize that our thoughts become our intentions – whether those thoughts serve and support us or derail and limit us. Our thoughts become our intentions and those intentions really do become our reality.

Bravo, for recognizing that simple, yet profound truth!

Here is a very simple three-step quickening exercise you can do to move your thoughts and actions from “I won’t/I can’t” to “I will”:

Set your intention or goal as simply and distinctly as possible.
When something comes up (a shiny object), just simply ask yourself, “Does this support my intention or goal?”
If the answer is yes, move forward. If the answer is no, dismiss it and get back to I will so you can realize your intention and goal.

Really, it is that simple; however, I must warn you—the results you will experience will be profound!

With love,
Maria

Your Way Out of Conflict

August 29, 2013 DrMaria

Like presence, when we fully connect with those with whom we are communicating, when we find common ground, we come together. Our ability to find common ground is easy when you combine presence, power listening, and perception shifting, with intuition.

Discover shared values, shared objectives, shared goals, and/or a shared vision. You are now on your way to discovering the true issue of the conflict. This clarity creates a shifted environment to now empathize with this person, which will move you into a collaborative vibe.

Once you’ve determined the true issue, now together, you can create a shared vision of collaboration…a plan to move forward. Remember as you create your plan of collaboration, apply the four actions of presence, power listening, perception shifting, and intuition, while always staying focused on common ground.

When you create your plan of collaboratively moving forward, remember to include follow-up, keeping the lines of communication open, demonstrating your commitment to improvement, and always be gracious—thanking the person for bringing this issue to your attention. Shoot for always ending the conversation on a positive note.

With love,
Maria

Laughter is Underrated

August 20, 2013 DrMaria

Laughter is completely underrated. Laughter is our heart’s outpouring of love. We know laughter is contagious, yet it is powerful medicine. Leadership use of laughter is like a power-charged tool with many uses.

One of the most compelling benefits of laughter is shared, joyous connection. Comedian Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” He is right; laughter connects us at deep level, which is why it is so contagious. Laughter moves beyond the superficiality of words right to our souls, moving all pretense and guard aside.

I’m always amazed at the extreme power of laughter; people laughing just in response to someone else’s laughter. I remember a time when my husband, daughter, and I were watching a silly movie. The premise was a bit far-fetched, but we liked the actor, Bill Murray, in the film. He inherited a circus elephant and wanted to take it across country to sell it to a zoo. In one scene, he was driving an 18-wheeler, which he did not know how to drive, with the elephant in the trailer. In the cab, he had several boxes of candy that he was feeding to the elephant, since he didn’t know what else to feed the animal and of course he experienced one series of hysterical mishaps after another!

I laughed so hard—it was one of the funniest scenes I ever saw! What was even funnier was how hard my husband and daughter were laughing at my reaction. They did not find the scene as hysterical as I did, but my deep belly, soulful laughter was so contagious that all three of us were rolling on the floor, in tears. Laughter goes to the core, infecting those within its path.

When was the last time you had a good, deep belly laugh? As always, I love hearing your stories!

With love and laughter,
Maria

De-Compartmentalized Leading and Living

August 15, 2013 DrMaria

When we neglect to look at the whole person, especially the spiritual dimension, we overlook a strong and powerful resource. Our spirituality grows in wisdom, and it is in wisdom that the world’s most powerful resource is used. “Life and livelihood ought not be separated, but to flow from the same source, which is Spirit, for both life and livelihood are about Spirit. Spirit means life, and both life and livelihood are about living in depth, living with meaning, purpose, joy, and a sense of contribution to the greater community. A spirituality of work is about bringing life and livelihood back together again. And spirit with them.”1

We cannot compartmentalize our spirit; it is like compartmentalizing our breathing from our brain: impossible. In a study of spirituality in the workplace, Mitroff and Denton found that, “People do not want to compartmentalize or fragment their lives. The search for meaning, purpose, wholeness, and integration is a constant never-ending task. To confine this search to one day a week or after hours violates people’s basic sense of integrity, of being whole persons. In short, soul is not something one leaves at home.”2

How have you managed to de-compartmentalize your life?
Love,
Maria

1. Matthew Fox, The Reinvention of Work, pp. 1-2.
2. Ian I. Mitroff and Elizabeth A. Denton, A Spiritual Audit of Corporate America (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1999), pp. xv-xvi.

Processes, People, and Grace

August 8, 2013 DrMaria

There are many leadership books that talk about processes and policies. “The tragedy of our time is that we’ve got it backwards. We’ve learned to love techniques and use people. This is one of the reasons more and more people feel alienated, empty, and dehumanized at work. Many organizations today would be surprised at how much more people would be willing to give of themselves if only they felt loved.”1 Organizational leaders have been serving the processes and the policies, not the people.

As the Rev. Dr. King, Jr. said, we need a heart full of grace. Grace is found in love. Grace is the knowledge that you’ve been blessed, and so you respond by giving freely to others. Grace personifies elegance, politeness, and generosity of spirit. Our generosity of spirit is shared in an Love-Based Leadership organization. An organization steeped in love, is an organization steeped in grace.

How do you see grace manifested in the workplace? As always, I love hearing from you.

With love,
Maria

Freiberg, Kevin, and Jackie Freiberg. Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success. New York: Broadway Books, 1998.

LUV and Manufacturing

August 6, 2013 DrMaria

Two of my favorite examples of Love-Based Leadership (LBL) in action include Southwest Airlines and Semco.

Southwest Airlines has demonstrated repeatedly that a holistic, loving focus (they are the “LUV” airline!) has brought abundance and meaning to their leaders and employees. They learned that when employees are trusted to make decisions, and when they have ownership of their work, they often come up with better solutions than those the company could have found. They responded much quicker to customers’ demands and the employees directed their energy toward innovation, seizing unique and creative market opportunities at critical times. “The Southwest story demonstrates over and over that people will act responsibly and do more than expected when they are given the freedom to think on their own.”1

The manufacturing company, Semco, demonstrated great love for their employees with the change from the traditional models of doing business to an organizational culture that honored and respected their people. As Ricardo Semler, CEO put it, “To survive in modern times, a company must have an organizational structure that accepts change as it basic premise, lets tribal customs thrive, and fosters a power that is derived from respect, not rules. In other words, the successful companies will be the ones that put quality of life first. Do this and the rest—quality of product, productivity of workers, profits for all—will follow.”2

What LBL organizations do you know of and how do they demonstrate LBL?

With love,
Maria

1. Freiberg, Kevin, and Jackie Freiberg. Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success. New York: Broadway Books, 1998.
2.0Semler, Ricardo. Maverick: The Success Story Behind the World’s Most Unusual Workplace. New York: Warner Books, 1993.

Fear-Based Leadership Vision Statement

August 1, 2013 DrMaria

Fear-based leadership exists, but can easily be erased.

Remember that both fear and love cannot be present at the same time.

Love-Based Leadership (LBL) doesn’t look like fear, doesn’t smell like fear, and doesn’t walk like fear. Perfect love drives out all fear. LBL doesn’t just proclaim that people are important because it says so on the mission statement posted on the wall. LBL leaders do not say one thing and do another.

An organization where LBL is not practiced is secretive: a fertile ground for non-truth. An organization without LBL is steeped in office politics and scarcity thinking—the fear that resources are limited and everyone is out to get yours. Information is not shared, rather, it is hoarded. There is no sign of spirit or energy.

The focus and vision of organizations where LBL is not practiced (a fear-based organization) could read:

We recognize there is only a limited amount of (money, people, projects, resources) and we will do anything to make sure we’ve got most, if not all of it (money, people, etc.). We tell our people they are important and they believe us because they are incapable of making any decisions on their own. We are the best because we said so.

What do you think a Love-Based Leadership vision statement would say?

As always, I love hearing your perspective.

With love,
Maria

Wakeup Call!

July 30, 2013 DrMaria

When sleeping women wake, mountains move. ~ Chinese proverb

I love the power of this statement. I would like to expand it to read, “When sleeping people wake, mountains move.”

The most obvious interpretation of this is when we get into our day with focused attention; we get a lot of work done.

But ahhh, as we know, Chinese proverbs go much deeper, and so do I, so let’s get right to it!

When we “wake up” from unconsciousness, we move obstacles and barriers to love – also known as fear and ego. Our fear and ego sometimes feels like mountains. The only way to “move” the mountains is to eliminate the fear and ego with the supreme power of love.

We can only know the truth of love with consciousness.

It is time to set the alarm – this is a wakeup call! Good morning mountain movers.

What practices do you do to stay “awake” and conscious? I always love to hear from you and sharing your insight.

With love from your fellow mountain mover,
Maria

Soul Stirring

July 18, 2013 DrMaria

I love today’s dialogue of finding meaning and purpose. Listening to and honoring your heart’s call honors your soul, your core, and your very essence. When we are aligned with our soul, with our spirit, we are authentic, abundant, and at peace. Meaning is not a destination, but a way of life, like the air we breathe. There is no better way to achieve well being and love for ourselves than aligning with our spirit.

When we do not care for our souls, we end up with what Albert Schweitzer referred to as, “A sleeping sickness of the soul. Its symptoms are loss of seriousness, enthusiasm, and zest. When we live superficially, pursue no goals deeper than material success, and never stop to listen to our inner voices, we stunt our spiritual development.” How do you develop your spirit? Spiritual growth and development manifest through inspiration. Do what you love and you’ll find that you love what you do. Music, art, nature, and literature are a few of the paths for inspiration.

What stirs your soul?

With love and a whole lot of stirring going on,
Maria

The Bull S#%T About Power

July 2, 2013 DrMaria

Let’s break open the lid on the belief that power must be kept tightly in order to be effective – BULL S#%T!

Power, like abundance and love, multiplies when you give it away.

That is why I cannot understand why leaders are so afraid to share power and empower others.

Power multiples when you give it away – really!

Boleman and Deal wrote in Leading with Soul, “When people have a sense of efficacy and an ability to influence their world, they usually seek to be more productive. They direct their energy and intelligence toward making a contribution rather than obstructing progress or destroying their enemies.” At Saturn automobile factories, employees are empowered to stop the assembly line any time they see something wrong. The employees have pride and ownership in their product and they are the quality control.

Another benefit of shared power is the reduction in conflict. We often suppress our feelings when we feel powerless. When this happens, our anger can only be contained for so long, then the conflict and anger comes spewing out, often times in a rage. Empowered people empower others. In a Love-Based Leadership organization, shared power equals shared ownership. You cannot have one without the other.

Have you empowered someone today? If not, what is holding you back?

With love,
Maria

You are Branded!

June 27, 2013 DrMaria

Branding and image consulting are terms we’ve no doubt heard, typically in the context of marketing. Have you thought about your brand? No, I am not talking about the company for which you work—I am talking about YOU!

What is your brand, your leadership image? Are you respected because you’ve earned it or are you feared because of your title? What is the first thing your people think about when your name comes up?

Some of us may say that we don’t care about what others think about me. Really, is that really true?

As leaders, our primary task is to motivate and influence others toward a vision and/or goal. If others are not buying our brand, then we don’t really have followers.

How can we consciously create our leadership brand? Follow these 5 simple steps:

Intentionally determine what you want your brand to represent.
Reverse engineer the steps necessary to develop and create that brand image.
Be accountable to doing the work – find an accountability partner or coach who will be honest about your progress and a resource when you are stuck.
Be vulnerable and do spot checks with others to see if you are on the right track (in other words—ask!).
Celebrate your successes along the way.

For more information on image, check out this previous blog post, Leadership Impression.

Please share your progress and aha’s! I love hearing from you.

Love,
Maria

Words, Words, Words

June 25, 2013 DrMaria

Words are powerful.

Recently in the news, we see yet another celebrity immersed in backlash for words spoken. True, as Maya Angelou stated, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” It is those words that we speak that create such an emotion-filled response.

Thoughts are powerful, but only because thoughts are steeped with words and stories we tell.

As leaders, we have a huge responsibility to be thought-filled of our words, the vehicle, by which we communicate.

Let’s not just be conscious and strategic in the words we don’t say, but even more responsible in the words we do say. Do your words lift up or pull down? Do your words encourage or diminish? Do your words inspire or de-motivate? Are your words love-fueled or your words fueled by fear?

Remember, leadership is powerful—use your power wisely.

In love,
Maria

Delegate is a 4-letter word

June 20, 2013 DrMaria

For many of the leaders I work with, delegation is a real struggle. Leaders resist delegating because we are so accustomed to doing the work ourselves. Many times, fear will rear its ugly head, thinking that if we want the work done correctly, we must do it ourselves. And then there is the time issue of communicating and training others to complete the task for us.

Ahhh, but the benefits of delegation far outweigh the negativity that surrounds this illusive skill. When we delegate, we have more time for our high-priority tasks and we actually get to experience the joy of completing our tasks! Delegation increases our productivity and is a much better use of our resources. Delegation gives us freedom.

True, there are some tasks best kept to ourselves such as personal matters, confidential activities, crises, and activities that are specifically delegated to us. However, we can delegate paperwork, routine tasks, technical matters, tasks with developmental potential, and employee problems.

Since we are not born with the delegation gene, we must learn this skill. It’s not as hard as you think! Just follow these four simple steps and you will be delegating before you know it:

Explain the need for delegating, including the reasons why you selected that person to complete the task.
Clearly set the objectives defining responsibility, level of authority, and deadlines.
Develop a plan to achieve objectives, resources, and give the authority necessary to obtain those resources.
4. Establish an accountability plan with checkpoints.

Now go, delegate, and prosper!

With love,
Maria

A Leg up on Legacy

June 11, 2013 DrMaria

We all leave a legacy, whether by choice or unconsciously. So why not intentionally create the legacy? Do you really want someone else to define your legacy? Meaningfulness, is feeling a part of something bigger, as big as a legacy.

The yearning for something more is evident in our society. Work-related illnesses are on the rise, and stress reduction workshops are everywhere. Proof of peoples’ desire for a more spiritual and holistic life is on grocery store shelves, in advertising, and in kitchens and baths across America. Spiritual practices such as yoga, prayer, meditation, and aromatherapy are creeping into offices and boardrooms, which are far from the practices that have guided American businesses since the 18th century. The evidence is out there—we want more!

I invite you to discover a model of leadership that can help you realize meaning, abundance, and can inspire and motivate those around you in meaningful experiences. Let’s be a part of something bigger and let’s start now! Let’s be love-based leaders.

Viva la revolution!

With love,
Maria

With or Without Meaning

June 6, 2013 DrMaria

Did you know the majority of heart attacks occur around nine o’clock on Monday mornings? “

One study showed that the most common factor in these heart attacks was that the victims were people whose work had become joyless striving. In other words, they could not find meaning in their work, and their lives had become so out of balance that, one Monday morning, their bodies said, You are not going to work today. Zap.”1

I remember a discussion I had with the general manager of a regional division, discussing with him the importance of finding meaning in work for our employees and leaders. His response was, “I think meaning at work is over-rated.” Overrated? We spend the vast majority of our adult lives at work.

One of the primary purposes of a leader is to inspire vision and motivation in those he or she leads, and few things are more inspiring and motivating than meaningful work.

If we don’t have meaning…what do we have? We must know the "why" behind the things we do, we are at unrest and certainly unmotivated.

As always, I welcome your input. What is the most meaningful aspect of your job and why?

With love,
Maria

1. J. A .Autrey, & S. Mitchell, Real power: Business lessons from the Tao Te Ching (New York: Riverhead Books, 1998), p. 23.

Putting on the Leadership Suit

May 30, 2013 DrMaria

Many organizations use the term leader when defining certain management positions. However, a title does not make a leader.

My Grandpa Jaime used to say, “You can put a suit on a bum, but he is still a bum.” One may put the title leader on a person, but he or she may or may not be a leader.

Most definitions of leadership have one over-arching similarity, vision. Creating vision and motivating followers toward the vision is the fundamental foundation of leadership. If there is no place to lead (vision) and no one to follow, then leadership is absent.

I define leadership as the act of inspiring and motivating others toward a vision. I don’t believe it needs to be any more complicated than that.

How do you define leadership? Remember to share your thoughts below!

With love and leadership,
Maria

Are You Afraid?

May 23, 2013 DrMaria

As a leadership coach, I am always excited when a powerful question or statement crosses my path or better yet, slams me in the face! Yesterday, I had such an encounter. Seth Godin got my attention when he stated, “If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader”. He was talking about the discomfort we sometimes feel as a leader and furthermore, when we identify the discomfort, we’ve found a place where leadership is needed. His list includes:

Standing up in front of strangers
Proposing an idea that may fail
Challenging the status quo
Resisting the urge to settle

I DO love those moments that move me out of my comfort zone and into what I call a “seat squirming” state. I know when I start squirming, I am onto to something, and that something is usually growth!

Of course, I also like to state things in a positive frame, so my list may look something like:

Motivating people in the direction of a shared goal
Creating and innovating with others, living in a synergy zone
Thinking outside the box and trying something that “hasn’t been done before”
Pushing myself and others to live in creativity and authenticity, even when it may be more work

My list not only feels good when I put it on, but it moves me beyond comfort to electric energy. What are your thoughts? Comfortable? Discomfort? What would you add to the list? As always, I truly appreciate your insight.

With love,
Maria

Can You Relate?

May 21, 2013 DrMaria

A few years ago, I wrote a reflective piece entitled, “I Have Arrived.” The following is an excerpt from my book, Love-Based Leadership:

I’ve done it! I accomplished whatever Mom and Dad told me I could do! I have arrived.

As the first-born of a pre-baby-boomer couple, my parents always told me to do what makes me happy, and remember that I could accomplish anything. They supported my desire to pursue acting. They supported my desire to study sign language interpretation (I liked the dramatic flair), then they encouraged my business drive. My mother always had a career. She broke through many glass ceilings and earned great respect in her profession. She was my inspiration to break on through to the other side. I had arrived.

When I moved up in my organization, and took on more responsibility, I tripled my income over a nine-month period. In addition to the money, I earned respect and a place at the table with the men. Four men, and little ol’ me. I had a place at the table in a predominately all male industry. I had arrived.

I changed my wardrobe, hair, and personal style. After all, I was in senior management. I had arrived.

I worked 80 hours a week. I was dealing in hundreds of thousands of dollars daily. I was getting little sleep with the worry. Yet, I felt important and needed; the men in my organization had come to depend on me and my opinion. I had arrived.

I started to show symptoms of extreme stress. On my fortieth birthday, the doctor put me on blood pressure medicine and told me I needed to exercise more. I’d been working long hours and my eating habits were atrocious. Fast food eaten even faster became the norm. I took up smoking as a stress reliever (yes, I am an educated woman, and yes, I know the hazards of smoking). I had arrived.

One day, on my back patio after a long day at work, with a martini in one hand and a cigarette in the other, I had a thought, I have a place at the table. I have earned respect for my hard work and knowledge. I have an awesome six-figure income. I have everything the successful men have had for decades. I have 30 pounds of extra weight. I have a high-level position. I have a stressful job. I have a beautiful home. I have high blood pressure. I have a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Oh my god…I do have it all! I have arrived…

But just exactly, where am I going?

Have you arrived and do you know where you are going? Let’s design our path with intention!

With love,
Maria

Not all Power is Created Equal

May 7, 2013 DrMaria

Power is a hot topic. Not all power is equal. Bertram Raven and John French identified five different power bases: legitimate, coercive, expert, reward, and referent.

Legitimate power is the type of power that comes with a title or position. Coercive power is one that imposes force on others, like the king who threatens to behead those who disobey. Expert power is the type of power that comes with knowledge or information that someone else does not have. Reward power comes from bestowing upon someone something of value, and referent power is the power of respect. Like anything else in this world, all forms of power can be for the greater good or for selfish and egoic purpose.

While empowerment may make some leaders nervous, it also makes some followers uncomfortable. In Scenes from Corporate Life, Earl Shorris wrote, “Men who cannot conceive a happiness of their own accept a definition imposed upon them by others.” We have been taught for too long to let others define our thoughts, feelings, jobs, lives, and meaning for us. What to think, what to wear, how to feel—is it any wonder we get nervous when we receive permission or power to design aspects for ourselves?

As leaders, we must teach. We teach and show others how to stand in this power. We invite them in to learn, to grow, to create, and to commit to a purpose greater than our own. When we create and commit to the larger purpose, we seek the greater good. We become a community of we and our instead of me and mine.

What is your best empowerment experience? I love to hear from you.

With love,
Maria

Sleeping Sickness of the Soul

April 25, 2013 DrMaria

As with your mind and body, it is important to take care of your soul. Nurture your soul with love, kindness, and depth. When we do not care for our souls, we end up with what Albert Schweitzer referred to as, “A sleeping sickness of the soul. Its symptoms are loss of seriousness, enthusiasm, and zest. When we live superficially, pursue no goals deeper than material success, and never stop to listen to our inner voices, we stunt our spiritual development.”1.

How do you develop your spirit? Spiritual growth and development manifest through inspiration. Do what you love and you’ll find that you love what you do. Music, art, nature, and literature are a few of the paths for inspiration. What stirs your soul? For me, when I hear drumming—Native American drumming, Irish drumming, Kudo drumming, or nearly any type of drumming—my soul stirs. Looking at a beautiful sunset feeds my soul. When I listen to music that feeds the souls of musicians, it nourishes my soul. Watching cloud formations or the dance of a butterfly warms my soul. “Spirituality transcends the ordinary; and yet, paradoxically, it can be found only in the ordinary. Spirituality is beyond us and yet is in everything we do. It is extraordinary, and yet it is extraordinarily simple.”2.

Listening to and honoring your heart’s call honors your soul, your core, and your very essence. When we are aligned with our soul, with our spirit, we are authentic, abundant, and at peace. Meaning is not a destination, but a way of life, like the air we breathe. There is no better way to achieve well being and love for ourselves than aligning with our spirit.

With love,
Maria

1. Albert Schweitzer quoted by Phillip L. Berman, The Search for Meaning: Americans Talk About What They Believe and Why (New York: Ballantine, 1990), p. vi.
2. Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham, The Spirituality of Imperfection: Modern Wisdom from Classic Stories (New York: Bantam, 1992), p. 35.