“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” ~ Robert Muller
Forgiveness is a challenging concept for many leaders. While we understand the idea and we know forgiveness when it happens, the vagueness surrounding forgiveness is illusive. The ambiguity enfolding forgiveness stems from our questions of how to bring about forgiveness and understanding, and from where it actually originated. To begin, let’s take a dive into the word itself. 
For implies intention to someone, for the benefit of or on behalf of someone or something. Give is to pass on, to gift, or convey something to someone. Ness, is a suffix that implies a state of being. For-give-ness therefore, is a state of benefiting someone by giving something to him or her.
How did we even get here—the need or desire to forgive?
We look to practice forgiveness when we are angry, wronged, or hurt. Tormentors come in the form of resentment, guilt, or even shame. Oftentimes we hold on to anger as a form of power. We feel in control and ultimately powerful when we hold onto our anger, justified in our feelings and hoping that the person we believe hurt us may feel guilty or remorseful for what we perceive they have done to us. Avoiding forgiveness allows us to fuel our anger, feeling justified and entitled in our anger or pain as victims. This practice of avoidance may manifest through not communicating with the person who harmed us, furthering the growth of our anger. Avoiding forgiveness is avoiding responsibility. We are victims because we believe we have no power. Playing the victim role deepens the feelings of pain and anger justification. Each time we replay the event that caused us pain is another attempt to regain respect, acknowledgment, hope, and love.
This time of year stirs up many emotions for us. In this season of love, we take a dive into forgiveness with a 3-parter! On Tuesday, we’ll continue the discussion on forgiveness (Part 2) with a look at self-forgiveness.
With a loving heart,
Maria
BTW - This is an excert from my new book!
Leadership Service
Organizational and leadership models throughout history, and still today, are like authoritative kingdoms. The ruling king or queen sits on their throne (corner office in the executive suite) and the serfs and subjects (subordinates and “team”) support them in any way necessary. Oh, we have the right words today—team, collaboration, and empowerment—unfortunately, in many organizations actions do not match the words. We know consciously and unconsciously these models do not work; however, we do not know how to replace them. As always, we just simply have to turn away from fear and stare right into the face of love. In those beautiful eyes, we find our answers. 
Service paves the path of leadership. Through love and a love-based leadership model, we serve others, our source, and ourselves. To make this miraculous shift in our perception about service, we must consciously be aware of leading with a service-mindset versus a sales-mindset. Many leaders I know lead with a sales-mentality, seeking “buy-in” from those they lead. They obtain buy-in through persuasion, manipulation, and control. These techniques can be effective, but the leader will not get long-term commitment. A service-mentality shifts from what can you do for me? to what can I do for you? This is similar to the phenomenon in marketing and product development happening today. Find out what they want and we’ll build it replaces the old mental model of build it and they will come. Leadership focus is on service, instead of self-interest. Uh-oh, the ego is not going to like this! Exactly.
When leaders shift from sales to service-mindsets, organizations shift from a kingdom culture and hierarchical structure to community. I am not describing Utopia or something found only through rose-colored glasses; I am describing what can be, and what is in some organizations and communities. By serving and giving, we are more successful. The more we give, the more we receive; the more we serve, the more we are served. This again demonstrates that to wherever you put your attention, you will manifest that.
How do you demonstrate service instead of sales?
In loving service,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!
Leading with Both Sides of Our Brain
Ask any successful leader or business owner what one of the most critical factors is for success today, and you will hear creativity. Now, more than ever, innovation and creativity are sought-after skills in organizations for their leaders. Old models steeped in scientific management and mechanistic thinking no longer serves our needs in this new era. As Einstein so eloquently reminds us, we must stop the insanity and look toward new models and creative ways of leading people and doing business. 
For decades, our American culture has devoted most curriculum and teaching models to developing the left-hemisphere of the brain. This is the part of the brain for logic, linear and sequential thought processes. This style of learning and development continued into colleges and universities where the mechanistic model of managing business and leading people remained a primary focus. Perhaps a nod to the “soft skills” of leadership appeared in the curriculum, but not until quite recently are we teaching these skills to leaders.
Many organizations now focus on teaching the soft skills in their leadership development programs because they realized a profound need for their leaders to have these skills in this new era. The soft skills to which I am referring are connecting with people, motivating teams, inspiring followers, creative thinking, innovation, quick decision-making and big-picture vision (strategic thinking and planning). Each one of these skill sets requires right-brain thinking.
The right hemisphere controls the left side of the body, is simultaneous, specializes in context, and synthesizes the big picture. Clearly, the ability to think quickly in today’s fast-paced world requires right hemisphere functions. I am not advocating tossing aside the value of the left-brain—our entire brain is a gift from God. I am simply seeking to focus on development of our right-brain functions. At this point, most of us have fairly well developed left hemispheres. After all, we have spent most of our lifetime educated and trained to use our left-brains. What we now need as leaders is to develop and reconnect with the processes of our right brains.
Lateral thinking is perception thinking, looking for creative and innovative ways of viewing the world. This process is not constricted by boundaries and limited beliefs; it challenges us to move into expansiveness, unlimited possibilities, and abundance thinking.
Are you ready for the shift?
With love from both parts of my brain and heart,
Maria
Leadership Coaching and Mentoring Difference
"Who exactly seeks out a coach? Winners who want more out of life.” - Chicago Tribune
Last time, I discussed mentoring. The focus for this post is on coaching. I understand that many people use these two terms interchangeably. Mentoring and coaching can be a nice compliment to each other, but we need to understand the difference so we may be effective with both activities in our leadership development.
Mentoring is typically sharing knowledge and experience, which equals wisdom. Typically, the mentor is older than the mentee, hence the experiential component. However, sharing of knowledge and information may move in both directions. In a mentorship relationship, advice is given to the mentee and the mentor leads the path.
Coaching is a partnership, whereby the coach walks beside the mentee on the path. The coach supports the coachee in the coachee’s self-discovery. Often times, the coaching relationship begins with awareness of self, including clarification of values, plans, dreams, and goals. In a coaching relationship, the coach is a sounding board, a mirror to reflect back, and an excavator to help the coachee unearth his or her own inner wisdom. A coach does not give advice, only support and resources. Coaches help coachees see additional perspectives, options, and choices that may be hidden from the coachee. Coaches work together with the coachee to develop action plans. Coaches are cheerleaders and accountability partners.
For many of us on the self-development path, we seek support from both mentors and coaches. Sometimes that person may be the same individual, recognizing the important distinction of when to lead, when to walk side-by-side, and when to follow. Knowing the difference is wisdom.
With love,
Maria
Leadership Mentoring
Motivation – discover the motivation in yourself and your mentee. 
I was just in a discussion today about mentoring. What exactly does this mean and why is it important for leadership to have a mentorship mindset? Mentorship is about sharing wisdom, and wisdom is gained from knowledge and experience. One of my favorite books about mentorship is, Mentoring: The TAO of Giving and Receiving Wisdom by Chungliang Al Huang and Jerry Lynch. Any good teacher will tell you that we learn so much from our students. The same is true with mentoring, it is an exchange, a dance of sharing wisdom, knowledge, and experiences with the intention of growth – for both parties. Of course, like most concepts we discuss, mentoring begins with self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-love. As written by Al Huang and Lynch, “It may seem clever to know and accept others; yet accepting oneself is the way to Wisdom. It may feel powerful to overcome others; yet disciplining oneself is true strength. It may be noble to honor others; yet respecting oneself is deep self-esteem.”
To practice mentoring, just remember MENTOR:
What are the elements of mentorship that resonate with you?
Exploration – encourage exploration of different perspectives, options, and opportunities.
Notice the feelings in both parties and explore their presence.
Talk less and listen more. Practice active listening and learn how to dance in the conversation.
Open – be open to learn from your mentee and the experience.
Respect – Always opt for respect without judgment.
Next time, we will explore coaching and how that differs from mentoring.
With love,
Maria
Leadership Strategies to Unlock Your Passion
How do you discover, nurture, and live in your passion? It’s not as hard as you may think! Below are 12 exercises to discover and re-connect with your passion and purpose. 
Let me know how these strategies work for you! Can you add to the lists?
With love and excitement,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!
Passionate Leadership
We cannot talk about passion without including heart in the discussion. When we are passionate about something, we often proclaim, I put my heart into it. When we want to place emphasis on something, we touch our heart saying we speak from the heart. This implies a deep core connection, a heart connection. The heart center, the core of our being is where passion resides. When we tap into our passion and lead from that space, passion ultimately oozes out of every pore in our body. People know it when they see it. 
Passion is an attraction magnet. We are drawn to people who enthuse passionate energy. Because passion is so appealing, it is a great energizing force for leaders. Leveraging passion motivates teams, as has passion motivated the masses throughout history. Passion fueled the migration of Europeans to the new world, independence from oppression, voting rights for women, the civil rights movement, and environmental safety. Passion has taken organizations to unimaginable success like Southwest Airlines, Microsoft, and Apple. We see passion demonstrated in great art. Passion is a differentiator. Passion is not complacency or conformity; it is a call to action.
When we think about passion from an individual level, we know we cannot not do whatever it is we are passionate about. Our minds, hearts, and bodies must fulfill the burning desire of passionate. To our passion, we are driven to say, YES! We may be able to put it off for a while, but it burns like a continuous flame inside of us until we extinguish it. The only way to extinguish our passion is to fulfill the destiny inside of us or die. Passion must be lived if we are to realize our authentic self. Passion drives and motivates us to come into fullness of presence and defies time and space through the lasting effects of legacy.
On Thursday, I will outline 12 steps to discover and re-connect with your passion.
With love and passion,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!
Leadership Perception Shifting Exercises
Are you ready to experience one of the most powerful leadership tools? Perception shifting opens up your leadership understanding and builds leadership prowess. When we add tools to our toolbox of skill sets, well let's just say that perception shifting is plugging in and using a turbo charged tool. As promised, here are some activities to help exercise your perception-shifting muscle:
Remember that perspective shifting requires awareness, choice, and the willingness to be open to other possibilities.
With love,
Maria
BTW - this is an excerpt from my new book!
Leadership Power Tool - Perception Shifting
I love the story of Plato’s cave! The shadows of the people outside the cave, distorted images from the fire flames, created a dark reality in the recesses of the cave. What dark reality exists within the confines of the caves of our mind?
Thoughts are powerful; they are the seeds to ideas, beliefs, creativity, attitudes, knowledge, wisdom, and reality. Thoughts can be our best friends or our worst enemies. Not by happenstance do thoughts come to us, these powerful seeds come to us through choice. Choice and thoughts are action movements directed by us whether we are conscious of these activities or not. The key lies in awareness of these two incredible gifts.
Negative self-talk are weeds that have grown in our minds. You know these voices, since many of us have cultivated these over years and decades: 
Sound familiar? We could probably add to the list with little effort! Often these voices are steeped in fear, anxiety, doubt, guilt, and shame. Our behaviors are a reflection of our beliefs. If we believe the negative self talk, how it that manifested in our behavior with ourselves and with others? Do we find that we become stuck, unable to accomplish that goal or unable to overcome our fear of something or someone?
Perception shifting is one of the most powerful lessons for leaders. Perception responses are deeply ingrained in our realities and are foundational to the way we think, see, believe, understand, and behave in our lives. In Thursday’s blog post I will share with you some activities to help exercise your perception-shifting muscle.
With love,
Maria
Intentional Leadership
For many, intention is defined as a motivation, a drive, or an ambition to succeed. It can be a demonstration of force, determination, or your immutable will to attain or accomplish something indicates that you have a firm intention. These are examples of our Western mental model of intention. A deeper understanding of the power of intention, described by Carlos Castaneda, suggests, “In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link”. This is not a model of perseverance or a mindset where only the fit (determined) survive, but a realization, again, of the connection to each other and to our Source, God. What this model of intention describes for us, as leaders, is that we are not alone in this organization, community, country, or even universe: but we are together, linked to the energetic force of intention.
Why is intention crucial to our leadership? It is the purpose, the why we are here, our belief in something greater than we are. Intention is how we derive meaning. In order to create a vision for our companies, or even our lives, we must first ask, why? Tapping into the power of intention requires clearing space in our minds and allowing and trusting our intuitive insights to flow.
Here are some exercises you can do to lead with intention:
Knowing your values helps bring clarity to what is meaningful to you. Identify ten important values. Narrow the list down to your top five and write a sentence or two explaining what the values mean to you and why they are important.
Look at your calendar and review how you spend your time. Do the activities on your calendar align with your values? If not, why?
Create a mind map on a clean sheet of paper, in the center of the paper write, “My purpose for living this life is…” and circle it. Now draw lines out from this circle with as many ideas that flow into your head and heart and draw circles around each one of those words or statements, always connecting the circles with lines to the center circle of your purpose for living.
Using the above information you have developed, write a purpose statement, including the activities involved in achieving that purpose, people necessary to support you, and the value you provide to others.
Enjoy the process and see what you discover!
Let me know what you unearth.
With love,
Maria
What Does a Love-Based Leadership Organization Look Like?
In an LBL zone, love of Self, Source, and Others are present. We live the words so the words may live. People want to go to work, meaningful work in an LBL zone. A paradigm shift occurs in an LBL zone, where we discover a new way to do business based in part on ancient and traditional wisdom. In The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran described work in what could be an LBL zone:
It is to weave the cloth with threads from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit,
And to know that all the blessed dead are standing about you and watching.
Work is love made visible.
And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy. 
When LBL is practiced in organizations, several characteristics are present. The organization is fertile ground for knowledge creation, a learning organization. Power is shared, as is ownership of the work. Significance and celebration of others is ever-present in an LBL organization, adding to a meaningful work experience. A holistic approach to life, work, and spirituality is a way of life for those leaders practicing LBL, because LBL leaders honor themselves, their Source, and those with whom they work.
How would you describe a Love-Based Leadership organization?
With love,
Maria
Delays in Leadership, Love and Life
As I started preparing for the day, I read this statement:
I let go of anything and everything that could delay my good in any way.
Hmmm…
Of course, as I so often do, I contemplated how this might apply to leadership.
Leadership is the action that motivates people toward a vision. Therefore, if the vision is the “good” in the above statement, we need to ask ourselves, “What gets in the way that could cause delay of achieving your vision?” In other words, what no longer serves you?
We discuss this topic a lot with our clients. It is a great exercise to stop and check-in with yourself regularly, asking, what no longer serves me?
Some possible delays to our good or vision may include:
Once you’ve identified what gets in your way of achieving your good or your vision, it is time to let it or them go. Time to move into action, ridding yourself of anything and everything that gets in your way. This is the time to start exercising your backbone instead of your wishbone. You are the architect of your life, the author of your book. This is not a dress rehearsal. If you don’t like what you see…change it!
What gets in your way, delaying your good, or your vision?
In love, and without delay,
Maria
What is leadership?
Leadership. What is it? How is it defined? Two great questions. Two reasonable questions. Two thousand responses. 
Many organizations use the term leader when defining certain management positions. However, a title does not make a leader. My Grandpa Jaime used to say, “You can put a suit on a bum, but he is still a bum.” One may put the title of leader on a person, and he or she may or may not be a leader.
Most definitions of leadership have one over-arching similarity: vision. Creating vision and motivating followers towards the vision is the fundamental foundation of leadership. If there is no place to lead (vision) and no one to follow, then leadership is absent. I define leadership as the action of inspiring and motivating others towards a vision. I don’t believe it needs to be any more complicated than that.
What are some of the factors of being an effective leader? Here are some thoughts:
This is certainly not an exhaustive list…What would you add?
With love,
Maria
Leadership, Influence and Love
“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.” - Roy Croft One of my favorite quotes by Lao Tzu demonstrates influence at its best:
Wow – wouldn’t it be cool to have your team say that about you?
Very rarely am I involved in a conversation about leadership that does not include the topic of influence. I believe that influence is what most leaders seek; although, many will confuse influence with motivation. Motivation is important in leadership; it gets the job done. However, influence, is lasting. Influence is legacy. 
Think about those people who influenced your life – in both positive and negative ways. We rarely forget the impact they had in shaping our behavior, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. I know we eventually forgive those that had a negative influence on us. But…how often do we acknowledge and thank those who’ve had a positive influence on us?
I recently had the great honor to thank two very influential people in my life. It felt great to thank them, and even better to see the looks on their faces and feel the love in their hearts.
What are some steps we can take to grow our influence with others? Below are some sure-fire ways to increase our influence:
As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear, and the next the people hate. When the best leader's work is done, the people say, “We did it ourselves!"
What are some of the ways you’ve found to influence others?
With love,
Maria
Fear, Love and Leadership
I write and speak a lot about fear versus love. Fear is easy to identify. We definitely know when fear starts to creep in; our body becomes tense, blood pressure starts to rise, and feelings of anxiety emerge. Fear is not a good feeling! Why would we continue to go there repeatedly? Where love and spirit are internal to us, fear and ego are external. Turning to others for approval or acceptance, points us in the direction of ego, external to ourselves.
When we live in the past, we live in the ego. Reliving those events, involving externally generated relationships, can cause tremendous pain or hurt. Each time we choose – yes, it is a choice – to live in the space of fear, we give away our power. We give it away to people or circumstance – an external event. When we retain our power, we are empowered, living in a place of love and spirit. 
Fear paralyzes us. True, fear can be a motivator, but it is not sustainable. We cannot be motivated and live in fear for long periods without paying the physical, emotional, and spiritual costs of fear and stress.
Moving away from fear is one thing, but how do we actively develop love and ultimately integrate it with our leadership? In Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance, I outline eight steps to help develop love of self, love of source, and love of others:
When we align ourselves with love and spirit, abundance and joy flow into our lives. What other steps would you add to develop love of self, love of source, and love of others?
With love,
Maria
Leadership Discomfort
As a leadership coach, I am always excited when a powerful question or statement crosses my path or better yet, slams me in the face! Yesterday, I had such an encounter. Seth Godin got my attention when he stated, “If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader”. He was talking about the discomfort we sometimes feel as a leader and furthermore, when we identify the discomfort, we’ve found a place where leadership is needed. His list includes: 
I DO love those moments that move me out of my comfort zone and into what I call a “seat squirming” state. I know when I start squirming, I am onto to something, and that something is usually growth!
Of course, I also like to state things in a positive frame, so my list may look something like:
My list not only feels good when I put it on, but it moves me beyond comfort to electric energy. What are your thoughts? Comfortable? Discomfort? What would you add to the list? As always, I truly appreciate your insight.
With electric energy and love,
Maria
Leadership Significance Instead of Success
I recently heard Oprah talk about success and significance in the same sentence. This got me thinking…
“Value” and “adding value” has become a buzzword in many organizations. I remember working for a homebuilder years ago, and adding value, along with value engineering were hot, sexy terms.
Like most buzzwords, their original contextual meaning got lost in translation.
Looking at the word, significance, I wanted to explore the meaning and essence of this luxurious word steeped in depth and richness. So… I started researching great thinkers on significance and explored quotes. I’ll share some of my favorites with you:
Next, I turned to Bing dictionary, and this is what I found:
Cool, this is a big deal, I thought! Of course, I immediately turned my attention to leadership and started thinking…what if we shifted our focus from success to significance? How would that look? How would that affect the way we lead? What do you think?
To your significance...with love,
Maria
Leadership and Marketing - The Same?
While teaching leadership or marketing courses, I often have the thought…Leading people and marketing are really the same activity. Isn’t the primary objective of both to influence people in the direction of a goal?
Now some of you may challenge that statement! True, marketing and leadership could sometimes be an activity of manipulation, and not of influence. We have seen and experienced this many times in both marketing and leadership. 
Influence, on the other hand, is nurturing, motivating, and full of momentum. Great, so how do we do it? How do we really influence others? Reflecting on the power of influence, I’ve come up with some key ways we can gain influence with those we lead:
What else would you add to the list?
With love and respect,
Maria
The Leadership Revolution: A Call to Hearts
Welcome to my blog about leadership – specifically, leading with our hearts, with love. There is a movement among us, and that movement is an evolution in leadership. This evolution is so important and leaders across the globe are so passionate about the movement that it is a revolution…a leadership revolution with a call to hearts.
We know historically that a revolution is a revolt, an uprising against the standard, the status quo. That is exactly what we are seeing in leadership. Leaders are recognizing the power of this shift and smart leaders are getting on board, and finding great results in this movement.
Leaders are shifting from:
- Competition to collaboration
- Coercion to influence
- Secrecy to transparency
- Information gathering to information distribution
- Scarcity to abundance
… and this is just the beginning!
My hope is that you will join in this discussion and share your insights with all of us. I also hope that you will find great value in our information exchange and will share these resources with those in your sphere of influence. When we are empowered, we are powerful.
The plan is to post information, resources, food for thought and to facilitate a deep, rich discussion on three of my greatest passions – leadership, love, and life. After all… aren’t they one and the same?
I am looking forward to your thoughts about this leadership revolution, "A Call to Hearts".Viva la revolution,Maria