This is my first blog in the wake of last week’s insanity. Our children were stabbed on the other side of the world, our children on the other side of the country were killed, and our neighbor’s house was broken into and robbed. And there were many, many other infractions to our brothers and sisters. 
We must stop.
We must stop the violence.
We must stop the doomsday mentality.
We must stop revenge.
We must stop ignoring mental illness.
We must stop pretending there is no darkness.
We must stop destroying each other.
We must stop destroying our planet.
We must stop our apathy.
We must stop our ignorance.
We must stop our arrogance.
We must stop creating an insane world. 
We must stop living in ego.
We must stop choosing fear.
We must stop sleepwalking.
We must stop mindlessness.
We must stop separation.
We must stop pretending we are not connected to one another.
We must stop pretending that we not connected to the Divine.
We must shift to a force stronger than hatred, violence, revenge, and fear.
And that other force…simply…love.
Choose love.
I'm in! Are you?
With the intensity of divine love,
Maria
Ownership with Love-Based Leadership
As leaders, we hope to motivate and influence people to reach a goal. One of the most powerful ways to accomplish team motivation is through ownership. I do not mean this in the literal sense, such as stock options or formal partnerships. I am referring to the figurative sense of ownership – which could be equally powerful.
One of my favorite leadership quotes is by ancient Chinese philosopher and prophet, Lao Tzu, believed to be the creator of the Tao Te Ching, 500 years before the birth of Jesus. This quote by Lao Tzu simply and beautifully states the power of ownership:
With the greatest leader above them,
People barely know one exists.
Next comes one whom they fear.
Next comes one whom they despise and defy.
When a leader trusts no one,
No one trusts him.
The great leader speaks little.
He never speaks carelessly.
He works without self-interest
And leaves no trace.
When all is finished, the people will say,
“We did it ourselves."
In a love-based leadership organization, we trust our employees to problem-solve and innovate. We do not micromanage. We support our people with increased influence and motivation. Our organizations are more productive and our employees find meaning and satisfaction in their work, creativity, and ownership.
Do you participate in a love-based leadership organization with a shared sense of ownership? Please share your experiences.
With love,
Maria
Thoughts, Laws & Leadership
As we approach the end of a year and the beginning of a new, it is important for us to reflect on our stories. You know these stories; they are well-crafted and visited repeatedly for years and sometimes decades. These are the stories we tell ourselves, building beliefs and behaviors based on these tales. As Plato reminded us, perception is reality. Our thoughts create our perceptions and our perceptions influence our emotional, psychological, and physical response.
I am reading Marianne Williamson’s latest book, “The Law of Divine Compensation” and was struck by her discussion about how negative thoughts deactivate the divine law, which falls into three major categories: (1) negative sense of self, (2) anger, and (3) guilt. Wow – the big three!
This got me thinking how the big three derail other aspects of our life, including how we love others and how we lead. As we reflect on a negative sense of self, anger, and guilt, let’s explore the following questions:
- Why do we hold on to these beliefs? Is it habit, unawareness, or true to you?
- • Is it really true?
- • Who would you be if it weren’t true?
- • With what loving thought can you replace the negative thought?
When we step into awareness about our stories and thoughts, we come to realize that we can change those thoughts, and ultimately change our lives. What’s stopping you?When is the best time to plant an oak tree?
Twenty years ago.
When is the second best time to plant the tree?
Now.
With loving thoughts,
Maria
Leadership Forgiveness In Motion: Part 3
“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit,” Peter Ustinov stated. How do we develop this habit? Below are some strategies to help us live in the state of forgiveness. 
Recognizing that we are stuck in an area or finding difficulty letting go of something (that nagging in your head and heart), let’s begin with naming the event and the people involved. Don’t rush through this exercise; sit with your thoughts and emotions. Now list all of the people in that scenario for whom you feel anger or resentment. Next to each name, identify the emotions you feel for that person. Again, do not rush through, but identify as many emotions you feel with each individual. As you begin to peel away the emotional layers with each person, honor each emotion without shoving it back in. As you experience each feeling, visualize the emotion as a dandelion, white with wispy seeds. After you have fully experienced your emotions, look at the dandelion. Gently blow and watch the soft white seeds break away, leaving only the stem, and releasing your emotions on each piece of the white seeds. Feel the freedom as the pieces blow away.
Another strategy is identifying those you blame or believe have contributed to a hurtful situation. List all of those people toward whom you blame or feel anger or resentment. Do not rush through this exercise. I must admit how surprised I was the first time I did the exercise that I had to use more than one sheet of paper!
Sometimes when we think about forgiving someone, we may resist because we don’t want to subject ourselves to possible abuse or hurt from that person. Again, forgiveness does not call for abuse or for us to be doormats. We can forgive someone without ever seeing him or her again. Forgiving someone does not require us to leave the safety of our own hearts and minds. Ours is a sacred space, safe and filled with love. Setting boundaries for others and ourselves is an important step in self-love.
How do you practice the beautiful freeing practice of forgiveness? I would love to learn your wisdom.
With love,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book.
Leadership Forgiveness of Self: Part 2
Because forgiveness is a state of being, action is required to move into that place or that state. Like so many other lessons, avoiding forgiveness is not static. Anger leads to judgment. (He is so mean, disrespectful, or vindictive when did that to me. She is so arrogant that she didn’t even realize she hurt me.) Judgment leads to blame, and blame leads to resentment. Resentment is unresolved anger and resentment hurts us, manifesting in stress-related illness, anxiety, or depression. Resentment hardens our hearts paving a path of vengeance. We can lose ourselves in judgment, condemnation, and conflict, all the while wondering why we are not happy and content.
Forgiveness is a choice. We take responsibility for our peace of mind and happiness when we choose to forgive. Many leaders think if we forgive, it is for the benefit of others. The primary advantage is that forgiveness benefits ourselves, and the primary function is removing ego separation bringing us back into our right mind with God. To make this choice, we experience a miracle.
The process of experiencing the miracle of forgiveness is perception shifting. The change in attitude comes to us through grace. Cultivating a practice of forgiveness first begins with self-forgiveness. Dr. Robin Casarjian describes six steps to practice self-forgiveness in her book, Forgiveness:
- Acknowledge the truth.
- Take responsibility for what you have done.
- Learn from the experience by acknowledging the deeper feelings that motivated the behaviors and thoughts for which you now feel guilty and hold yourself in judgment.
- Open your heart to yourself and compassionately listen to the fears and calls for help and acknowledgment deep within.
- Heal emotional wounds by heeding the calls in healthy, loving, and responsible ways.
- Align with your Self and affirm your fundamental innocence.
Practice self-forgiveness…why? The reason is just as the old Loreal commercial said, “Because I’m worth it!”
With love,
Maria
This is an excerpt from my new book.
Leadership Forgiveness - Part 1
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” ~ Robert Muller
Forgiveness is a challenging concept for many leaders. While we understand the idea and we know forgiveness when it happens, the vagueness surrounding forgiveness is illusive. The ambiguity enfolding forgiveness stems from our questions of how to bring about forgiveness and understanding, and from where it actually originated. To begin, let’s take a dive into the word itself. 
For implies intention to someone, for the benefit of or on behalf of someone or something. Give is to pass on, to gift, or convey something to someone. Ness, is a suffix that implies a state of being. For-give-ness therefore, is a state of benefiting someone by giving something to him or her.
How did we even get here—the need or desire to forgive?
We look to practice forgiveness when we are angry, wronged, or hurt. Tormentors come in the form of resentment, guilt, or even shame. Oftentimes we hold on to anger as a form of power. We feel in control and ultimately powerful when we hold onto our anger, justified in our feelings and hoping that the person we believe hurt us may feel guilty or remorseful for what we perceive they have done to us. Avoiding forgiveness allows us to fuel our anger, feeling justified and entitled in our anger or pain as victims. This practice of avoidance may manifest through not communicating with the person who harmed us, furthering the growth of our anger. Avoiding forgiveness is avoiding responsibility. We are victims because we believe we have no power. Playing the victim role deepens the feelings of pain and anger justification. Each time we replay the event that caused us pain is another attempt to regain respect, acknowledgment, hope, and love.
This time of year stirs up many emotions for us. In this season of love, we take a dive into forgiveness with a 3-parter! On Tuesday, we’ll continue the discussion on forgiveness (Part 2) with a look at self-forgiveness.
With a loving heart,
Maria
BTW - This is an excert from my new book!
Leadership Service
Organizational and leadership models throughout history, and still today, are like authoritative kingdoms. The ruling king or queen sits on their throne (corner office in the executive suite) and the serfs and subjects (subordinates and “team”) support them in any way necessary. Oh, we have the right words today—team, collaboration, and empowerment—unfortunately, in many organizations actions do not match the words. We know consciously and unconsciously these models do not work; however, we do not know how to replace them. As always, we just simply have to turn away from fear and stare right into the face of love. In those beautiful eyes, we find our answers. 
Service paves the path of leadership. Through love and a love-based leadership model, we serve others, our source, and ourselves. To make this miraculous shift in our perception about service, we must consciously be aware of leading with a service-mindset versus a sales-mindset. Many leaders I know lead with a sales-mentality, seeking “buy-in” from those they lead. They obtain buy-in through persuasion, manipulation, and control. These techniques can be effective, but the leader will not get long-term commitment. A service-mentality shifts from what can you do for me? to what can I do for you? This is similar to the phenomenon in marketing and product development happening today. Find out what they want and we’ll build it replaces the old mental model of build it and they will come. Leadership focus is on service, instead of self-interest. Uh-oh, the ego is not going to like this! Exactly.
When leaders shift from sales to service-mindsets, organizations shift from a kingdom culture and hierarchical structure to community. I am not describing Utopia or something found only through rose-colored glasses; I am describing what can be, and what is in some organizations and communities. By serving and giving, we are more successful. The more we give, the more we receive; the more we serve, the more we are served. This again demonstrates that to wherever you put your attention, you will manifest that.
How do you demonstrate service instead of sales?
In loving service,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!
Thanksgiving Abundance
Gratitude is the portal through which abundance flows.
May your Thanksgiving day be one of love, abundance, and blessings.
I am grateful for you and the joy in leading, learning and loving.
For what are you grateful for today, in this moment?
In loving thanksgiving,
Maria
Leading with Both Sides of Our Brain
Ask any successful leader or business owner what one of the most critical factors is for success today, and you will hear creativity. Now, more than ever, innovation and creativity are sought-after skills in organizations for their leaders. Old models steeped in scientific management and mechanistic thinking no longer serves our needs in this new era. As Einstein so eloquently reminds us, we must stop the insanity and look toward new models and creative ways of leading people and doing business. 
For decades, our American culture has devoted most curriculum and teaching models to developing the left-hemisphere of the brain. This is the part of the brain for logic, linear and sequential thought processes. This style of learning and development continued into colleges and universities where the mechanistic model of managing business and leading people remained a primary focus. Perhaps a nod to the “soft skills” of leadership appeared in the curriculum, but not until quite recently are we teaching these skills to leaders.
Many organizations now focus on teaching the soft skills in their leadership development programs because they realized a profound need for their leaders to have these skills in this new era. The soft skills to which I am referring are connecting with people, motivating teams, inspiring followers, creative thinking, innovation, quick decision-making and big-picture vision (strategic thinking and planning). Each one of these skill sets requires right-brain thinking.
The right hemisphere controls the left side of the body, is simultaneous, specializes in context, and synthesizes the big picture. Clearly, the ability to think quickly in today’s fast-paced world requires right hemisphere functions. I am not advocating tossing aside the value of the left-brain—our entire brain is a gift from God. I am simply seeking to focus on development of our right-brain functions. At this point, most of us have fairly well developed left hemispheres. After all, we have spent most of our lifetime educated and trained to use our left-brains. What we now need as leaders is to develop and reconnect with the processes of our right brains.
Lateral thinking is perception thinking, looking for creative and innovative ways of viewing the world. This process is not constricted by boundaries and limited beliefs; it challenges us to move into expansiveness, unlimited possibilities, and abundance thinking.
Are you ready for the shift?
With love from both parts of my brain and heart,
Maria
Thick Skin or Strong Heart
Someone asked me the other day, “How can you develop a thick-skin at work?” My initial response, “Develop a strong heart.”
Growing up, I was often teased because of my over-bite. Called many names at school, I came home frequently collapsing into a pile of tears. My mother would tell me to ignore the bully’s hurtful comments and eventually they would stop. I did experience some truth in this, but what was even more impactful, were her words, “Maria, you are beautiful, they just don’t see it.” Of course, she was referring to my inner beauty. I knew my outer beauty would catch up once I got braces!
Why is it that as adults we still feel the need to toughen up and not let other people’s words hurt us? Could it be that we forgot our inner beauty?
If so, do not worry. Reclaiming our inner beauty and strengthening our heart is easy to do. Developing a strong heart begins with self-love.
Practice these ten steps and in no time, you will not need a thick skin because you will have a strong heart:
- List your strengths. Next to each one, identify how you may leverage your strong points.
- Create an action plan for personal and professional growth.
- Reconnect with your intuition.
- Do something creative every day.
- Spend time in stillness each day.
- Get enough sleep. Six to eight hours are recommended for optimum health.
- Move your body every day. Some days it may only be walking to the mailbox.
- Eat foods that nourish your body in healthy ways.
- List at least five things each day for which you are grateful.
- Find ways to help others see their greatness.
With love,
Maria
Leadership Coaching and Mentoring Difference
"Who exactly seeks out a coach? Winners who want more out of life.” - Chicago Tribune
Last time, I discussed mentoring. The focus for this post is on coaching. I understand that many people use these two terms interchangeably. Mentoring and coaching can be a nice compliment to each other, but we need to understand the difference so we may be effective with both activities in our leadership development.
Mentoring is typically sharing knowledge and experience, which equals wisdom. Typically, the mentor is older than the mentee, hence the experiential component. However, sharing of knowledge and information may move in both directions. In a mentorship relationship, advice is given to the mentee and the mentor leads the path.
Coaching is a partnership, whereby the coach walks beside the mentee on the path. The coach supports the coachee in the coachee’s self-discovery. Often times, the coaching relationship begins with awareness of self, including clarification of values, plans, dreams, and goals. In a coaching relationship, the coach is a sounding board, a mirror to reflect back, and an excavator to help the coachee unearth his or her own inner wisdom. A coach does not give advice, only support and resources. Coaches help coachees see additional perspectives, options, and choices that may be hidden from the coachee. Coaches work together with the coachee to develop action plans. Coaches are cheerleaders and accountability partners.
For many of us on the self-development path, we seek support from both mentors and coaches. Sometimes that person may be the same individual, recognizing the important distinction of when to lead, when to walk side-by-side, and when to follow. Knowing the difference is wisdom.
With love,
Maria
Leadership Mentoring
I was just in a discussion today about mentoring. What exactly does this mean and why is it important for leadership to have a mentorship mindset? Mentorship is about sharing wisdom, and wisdom is gained from knowledge and experience. One of my favorite books about mentorship is, Mentoring: The TAO of Giving and Receiving Wisdom by Chungliang Al Huang and Jerry Lynch. Any good teacher will tell you that we learn so much from our students. The same is true with mentoring, it is an exchange, a dance of sharing wisdom, knowledge, and experiences with the intention of growth – for both parties. Of course, like most concepts we discuss, mentoring begins with self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-love. As written by Al Huang and Lynch, “It may seem clever to know and accept others; yet accepting oneself is the way to Wisdom. It may feel powerful to overcome others; yet disciplining oneself is true strength. It may be noble to honor others; yet respecting oneself is deep self-esteem.”
To practice mentoring, just remember MENTOR:
What are the elements of mentorship that resonate with you?Motivation – discover the motivation in yourself and your mentee.
Exploration – encourage exploration of different perspectives, options, and opportunities.
Notice the feelings in both parties and explore their presence.
Talk less and listen more. Practice active listening and learn how to dance in the conversation.
Open – be open to learn from your mentee and the experience.
Respect – Always opt for respect without judgment.
Next time, we will explore coaching and how that differs from mentoring.
With love,
Maria
Steps to Leadership Self-Empowerment
I love the word empowerment, which means a state of being “in power.” According to Merriam-Webster, the word has three definitions: 
- to give official authority or legal power to
- enable
- to promote the self-actualization or influence of
Stepping into your power includes the following actions:
- Awareness. We must walk through the doors of awareness to begin any practice of self-growth.
- Identify any barriers that may hold you back, especially any negative self-talk or negative voices. List all of the negative thoughts that keep you from standing in your power and ask yourself if it is really true. Then ask yourself whom would you be without that thought? Design a plan based on your response.
- Find your voice. Is it hidden under a blanket of self-doubt, fear, or insecurity? Identify these gremlins and negative voices and divorce yourself from them.
- Identify any underlying beliefs you may have that no longer serve you and dismiss those to the wind.
- Give yourself permission. Like the great Nike ad, Just do it! Kick fear to the door and be the person you want to be. Be bold and be love. As Basil King said, “Be bold and might forces will come to your aid.”
- Find a coach or accountability partner to work with.
Who are you not to be empowered?“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
With love and power,
Maria
Leadership Impression
I just got back from New York City and four days of meeting over 70 media including television producers, writers, agents, and editors. I gave 2-minute pitches to all of these people, which felt like speed-dating! This got me thinking about the impression we make in 2 minutes, and how we could possibly influence someone to take action.
This is not a whole lot different from leadership. What sort of impression do we make with our leadership influence in 2 minutes? What kind of impression do we want to make? What is the lasting or lingering thought we wish to impart on someone?
Follow these simple IMAGE steps to create a lasting, positive impression:
Integrity – Stand in your integrity, be honest about who you are and what you stand for, demonstrating this with your behavior.
Mannerisms – Be cognizant of your body language. Are you open or closed? Are you inviting? Are you demonstrating confidence?
Appearance – Does you appearance match the impression and image you want to portray? Show up in presence as well, remembering to practice active listening more than speaking.
Greeting – Greet others with openness, kindness, warmth, and a smile. People do not always remember what we say to them, but they always remember how they felt when with us.
Enjoy the experience. We are more attracted to fun and joy than anything else.
Be the master and creator of impression. We always leave an impression, whether we are aware of that or not; so step into awareness and consciously create your leadership impression by choice.
With love,
Maria
Laughter, Lightness, and Leadership
Early on in my corporate career, colleagues advised me to learn golf, which they claimed as a great way to network, bond with clients, and create deals. I learned the sport, but I didn’t enjoy the game as much as other people did. At one of our corporate retreats, my boss and colleagues couldn’t wait to get out on the course with some of the top executive staff. I was a bit confused by this because I knew my boss didn’t really like or get along with this group of people. I asked him about it and he said that on the golf course, unless you are a pro, there is no pretense; all are on equal footing and all are hitting poorly. The golf experience allowed them to bring down their guards and share the misery of their poor shots. Like golf, laughter allows us to connect with one another, letting our guards down, sans the misery of poor golf shots. 
Laughter enhances communication by letting our shields down and showing that we are human. The model of professionalism for too long has instructed us to be super-human. We learned how to work beyond what is humanly possible, denying our natural rhythm for balance. We also learned to check our emotions at the door. While I ascribe to the concepts of emotional intelligence (EI), we are still human; we have emotions. To deny that fact is insanity. EI purports that we understand and acknowledge our emotions, recognize them, and with conscious awareness not let the emotions rule us. This is certainly a healthy approach to emotions, which is very different from the professional corporate model we learned.
Here are seven strategies for infusing laughter and lightness in your leadership and life:
- Start developing your practice of laughter with consciously smiling today. See how many people you can touch and shift their energy with your smile.
- Begin your meetings on a light note. I have the E*Trade babies’ videos on my favorites list and would start meetings with one or two of those commercials. The more I watch them, the funnier they are.
- Watch a funny movie, making note of the elements that tickle your funny bone.
- Listen to a funny tape on the way to work, setting the tone for the day.
- Laugh for 3–5 minutes every day. Fake it ‘til you make it!
- Commit to do one silly thing a day to cultivate your playfulness.
- Start collecting stories from work that are funny; invite everyone to participate and present these stories at the annual holiday party.
With love and laugher,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!
Leadership Uniforms
Hello, hello! I do appreciate those of you who reached out to me to make sure I was okay! I apologize for the two-week absence, which was spent in intense focus, completing my new book, A Course in Leadership: 21 Spiritual Lessons on Leadership, Love, and Life. I do not yet have a release date, but you will be one of the first to know! 
During my two-week hiatus, I flew to Philly to participate in a conference where I met up with my brother-in-law Johnny, a Colonel in the Marine Corp Reserves. We had a great dinner and were greeted warmly by everyone in our path. Johnny was in uniform, having just come from a funeral where he was a pallbearer. Strangers opened the door for him, sent over an appetizer, refused to accept his money for coffee at Starbucks, and thanked him for his service and his many sacrifices.
This got me thinking…Johnny wore his uniform outwardly and consciously. How many of us, as leaders, are aware of the uniforms we wear? We are leaders and touch other people’s lives whether we are conscious of it or not. What messages are we giving to others by the uniforms we wear? Are they uniforms of service and value? Uniforms of greed? Uniforms of arrogance? Uniforms of fear? Uniforms of love?
Is it time to change our uniforms or take them to the dry cleaners? Or, is it time to redesign our uniforms? How would you design your uniform?
Abundant blessings,
Maria
Leadership Grace – Part 2
“Grace must find expression in life, otherwise it is not grace”, are words filled with wisdom by Karl Barth. With our divine quiet grace, it shines like an outward beacon. The 3 Cs are outward manifestations of inward grace: care, compassion, confidence. The confidence comes from our surrender, knowing we are guided by the powerful hand of God. Confidence is one of the elements that draw followers to great leaders. Warning – confidence is not arrogance. I love the Merriam-Webster definition of arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. You will notice that I emphasized all of the ego-related words in bold. Yes, arrogance is seeded from ego, whereas confidence is seeded from authenticity, from grace, from God.
Care and compassion are grace manifested in outward behaviors toward others. Sir Francis Bacon reminded us that grace is fulfilled when shared, “If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins to them.” He spoke of a heart filled with love and grace. Grace, too, is demonstrated through acts of sincere kindness to each other and all living things on earth. Care and compassion are vibrations of love.
Rabbi Heshel described grace under fire when he said, “In every moment something sacred is at stake, and even in that moment being attacked something sacred is at stake. Can I chose, or be awake or aware enough to see that going on and to say I need an imaginative, creative, loving response that keeps my power rather than give it over to that person and just act the way they want me to act.” Living in that state of imaginative, creative, loving response described, is living in grace. Reclaiming and retaining our power is the power of grace. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi lived in grace, retaining their power, while teaching love and peace. Rev. Ed Bacon describes grace manifested as a unifying breath. Grace allows us to break the cycle of violence and turmoil.
How is grace manifested in your leadership and life?
With love,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book.
Leadership Grace – Part 1
Why would grace be a lesson on leadership? How can it not? Grace is the state many wise leaders seek: grace under fire. The state of grace, however, is not just essential under fire; grace serves leaders all of the time. During times of stress, confusion, joy, and peace, grace is always at its best.
Many leadership books talk about policies, procedures, and processes. The extreme challenge in today’s organizations is that we value policies and procedures more than we value and honor people. As the Rev. Dr. King, Jr. said, we need a heart full of grace. Grace is found in love and personifies elegance, politeness, and generosity of spirit. An organization steeped in love, is an organization steeped in grace. 
Grace is a word and concept ripe with different mental models for people. Most definitions and constructs have common elements such as beauty, elegance, dignified manner, generosity of spirit, and a gift from God. The ability to see beauty in anything is a gift of grace. Mother Teresa saw beauty in the poorest of the poor, when she said, “Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.” Grace is seeing with the heart and eyes of God. Victor Frankl described the worst of horrors in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. He told a story of sitting on the floor in the concentration camp eating soup, exhausted after laboring all day for the Nazis, when a fellow prisoner rushed in to ask them to join him outside to marvel at the wonderful sunset. Even in the midst of the heinous concentration camps, those prisoners understood the beauty of grace.
Grace is elegance personified. Many of my female executive clients work with me to reclaim their femininity in their high-level leadership positions. Through the process of reconnecting with their feminine energy, they discover elegance and grace. Elegance is refined confidence in self. It is a calm, quiet knowledge of self-efficacy that you can handle anything that comes your way with dignity. This comes from knowing you will never run out of resources because you are tapped into your source, the source of all resources, God. Grace through elegance is a powerful leadership example. I’ll never forget when Paula, a colleague 20 years my senior said to me, I never knew that a woman could lead with softness and femininity. I always thought you had to be tough, hard-nosed, and aggressive for others to follow. Thank you for showing me another way, an even more effective way. An authentic way. Paula learned the power of elegance and grace in leadership. She saw it in fact, move mountains.
How do you see grace manifested in your workplace?
I will continue my discussion on grace in my next blog post.
With love,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book!
How to Cultivate Gratitude in Leadership and Life
I love talking about gratitude! As promised, below are three activities to cultivate gratitude in our lives. 
I remember reading an article about gratitude several years ago. The author talked about keeping a gratitude journal. This idea intrigued me and I decided to commit to keeping this journal for a full year. Each day I listed at least five things for which I was grateful, big, or small. Some days the list was a dozen, other days I struggled to come up with five! Then something happened…I soon realized that I was receiving more of whatever it was that I was grateful! Abundance did indeed flow. Blessings surrounded me in my life; work, health, play, and love became much more rewarding than ever before. To this day, I still reflect on gratitude in my journal and continue to be blessed beyond belief. Keeping a gratitude journal has also enhanced the lives of many of my clients.
Cultivate and live in a state of gratitude. A state of gratitude is an attitude manifested in our behavior and thoughts. Be conscious of your thoughts, always shifting from fear to love, scarcity to abundance. Soon enough, gratitude will become your SOP or standard operating procedure! To tap into gratitude and abundance, presence, awareness, and mindfulness are requisites. Think gratitude. Cultivate an abundance cycle with an attitude of gratitude. The gifts already surround you; with presence, you will become aware of their existence. Your resulting joy will only serve to bring more to you of whatever it is you are grateful.
Move your thoughts into action. Tell those employees, family members, and friends that you are grateful for their presence in your life. And make sure to tell them why you are grateful. I recently had the tremendous honor to thank two very influential people in my life. It felt great to thank them, and even better to see the looks on their faces and feel the love in their hearts. What I gave them by expressing my gratitude; I truly received back in my heart tenfold.
What are some of the ways you cultivate gratitude in your life?
With gratitude and love,
Maria
PS - This is an excerpt from my new book! 
Leadership Gratitude
I love the phrase, An Attitude of Gratitude. What exactly is an attitude of gratitude? In basic terms, gratitude is thankfulness. We usually remember to give thanks when we feel great. However, living in a state of gratitude is much like living in a state of awareness, it is a way of being. Gratitude may be an activity, but you will live a much fuller life and lead others more effectively, if it becomes your natural state and not just an occasional activity.
I’m not just talking kittens, rainbows, and rose-colored glasses. It is smart for you to practice gratitude; think of it as a best practice. Several studies conducted by Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Michael McCollough1 , extol the benefits of a grateful mind and heart. One of the studies concluded that regular daily practice of gratitude increased happiness by 25%. Emmons also found in a separate study that patients with debilitating health conditions slept better and were optimistic about their life when they focused on gratitude. These studies reflect the fact that grateful people report higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, energy, health, wellness, and love. 
In addition to the health benefits of gratitude, it is also an abundance magnet. The power of attraction applies; abundance creates more abundance. The challenge with abundance thinking is in the scarcity cycle many of us have found ourselves to be. Let’s face it, we have been taught scarcity since childhood. Scarcity thinking is focusing on lacking such things as finances, health, relationships, opportunities, and so on. The very important fact of this matter is remembering that on whatever we focus our thoughts and attention, it becomes our intention, and the universe conspires to manifest that energy into reality; you become what you think about, stated Earl Nightingale. It does not matter if you are thinking scarcity or abundance; it will become your reality.
Sometimes scarcity thinking shows up in the form of accumulation and greed. I have to get, get, get, and keep, keep, keep. People who hoard, are deeply immersed in this mental model. Fear of letting go and fear of surrender, block love, abundance, and joy from flowing. If we hold on to something, anything, too tightly, our hands cannot be open to what may be coming. We focus on doing instead of being, on getting instead of giving, and on differences instead of commonalities. Sometimes we fear a perception of vulnerability attached to gratitude giving. We fear that if we are free-flowing with our appreciation to someone that we may be taken advantage of or give too much and not get anything in return. The downside of this scarcity mental model is by withholding the flow of gratitude, appreciation, and love, that is exactly what he person will receive more of – a withholding of gratitude, appreciation, and love. See how this works? What does practicing gratitude mean to you?
Next time I'll share with you some thoughts on cultivating an attitude of gratitude.
With love and gratitude,
Maria
This is an excerpt from my new book.
1 Emmons, R. A. & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.