This is a photo of my business partner, Dr. Dorothy Bonvillian and I in Old San Juan standing in front of a plaque at the home and office of one of my mentors, Dr. Victor Frankl. Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, revolves around our striving to be fulfilled along with the powerful message of choice. Dr. Frankl, a brilliant psychiatrist, was working on his Logotherapy theory when he was captured by the Nazis and imprisoned in a series of concentration camps. His notes and all of his possessions were seized. Stripped of everything, literally and figuratively, he was given a number to replace his name. “The experience of camp life shows that man does have a choice of action,” Frankl stated, “Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.”1. Dr. Frankl realized the truth in his theory when he wrote, “What alone remains is ‘the last of human freedoms’—the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.”2. Those are very wise and applicable words then, and today. When we place ourselves in a victim role, we are victims. We do create our own realities. However, we have a choice in how that reality looks, as co-creators. We can choose to create a different perception, a different reality.
For example, if someone is lashing out at you at work, really being ugly, have you ever stopped to think that hurt people hurt others? “Attacking always stems from fear and guilt. No one attacks unless he first feels threatened and believes that through attack he can demonstrate his own strength at the expense of another’s vulnerability.”3. For us to experience peace instead of conflict, we need to make a choice to change our perception (reality). “Instead of seeing others as attacking us, we can see them as fearful. We are always expressing love or fear. Fear is really a call for help, and therefore a request for love. It is apparent, then, that to experience peace we must recognize that we do have a choice in determining what we perceive.”4.
I am not advocating that anyone stay in a place that hurts or causes pain – just the contrary! Remembering our divine nature, we choose where we stay and with whom we interact. We choose peace, love, (and okay, some rock ‘n’ roll). We do not need to be in a place where we are not honored.
With love,
Maria
1. Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning, p. 74.
2. Ibid., p. 75.
3. Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D., Love is Letting Go of Fear, p. 34.
4. Ibid., p. 34.
Content copyright 2012. Dr. Maria J. Church. All rights reserved.