6 Steps for Finding Forgiveness

Join me at http://www.DrMariaChurch.com/drmariatv/ where the discussion continues. I have to share this quote with you by Robert Muller, "To forgive is the h...

Because forgiveness is a state of being, action is required to move into that place or that state. Like so many other lessons, avoiding forgiveness is not static. Anger leads to judgment. (He is so mean, disrespectful, or vindictive when he did that to me. She is so arrogant that she didn’t even realize she hurt me.) Judgment leads to blame, and blame leads to resentment. Resentment is unresolved anger and resentment hurts us, manifesting in stress-related illness, anxiety, or depression. Resentment hardens our hearts paving a path of vengeance. We can lose ourselves in judgment, condemnation, and conflict, all the while wondering why we are not happy and content.

Forgiveness is a choice. We take responsibility for our peace of mind and happiness when we choose to forgive. Many leaders think if we forgive, it is for the benefit of others. The primary advantage is that forgiveness benefits ourselves, and the primary function is removing ego separation bringing us back into our right mind with God. To make this choice, we experience a miracle.

The process of experiencing the miracle of forgiveness is perception shifting. The change in attitude comes to us through grace. Cultivating a practice of forgiveness first begins with self-forgiveness. Dr. Robin Casarjian describes six steps to practice self-forgiveness in her book, Forgiveness means you:

1. Acknowledge the truth.

2. Take responsibility for what you have done.

3. Learn from the experience by acknowledging the deeper feelings that motivated the behaviors and thoughts for which you now feel guilty and hold yourself in judgment.

4. Open your heart to yourself and compassionately listen to the fears and calls for help and acknowledgment deep within.

5. Heal emotional wounds by heeding the calls in healthy, loving, and responsible ways.

6. Align with your Self and affirm your fundamental innocence.

By practicing self-forgiveness, always remember to be gentle with yourself, suspending judgment, allowing and receiving miracles in this holy space. The miracle and shift in perception and attitude gives us insight about others and ourselves.

Practice self-forgiveness…why? The reason is just as the old L’Oréal commercial said, “Because I’m worth it!”

With love,

Maria

P.S. This is an excerpt from my book, “Love-Based Leadership: Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance” to purchase or read another excerpt, click HERE.

Making Movement In Your Leadership Goals

We have so much we want to do and accomplish as leaders.

We dream, create, plan, review, plan some more, and tweak, tweak, tweak. Is this perfectionism or is this fear; and really, aren’t they both the same?

Sometimes, we stand behind all of these activities to legitimately stay busy. However, these activities keep us behind the computer. There comes a time (probably now) that we need to step out from behind the computer and into the world of personal interaction. When we step out, then, we can really leave impressions teaching, helping, and leading with those we met.

Breaking out of our comfort zones may be different strategies for different people. For some of us we may need to just jump in water, or we may dive into the deep end, and for some of us, we may just put one toe at a time into the water. The key is to have some movement toward your goal. Success, transformation, and the magic is just outside of our comfort zone.

Our movement outside of our comfort zone can start small. One of my clients began this move out of her comfort zone just by taking a different route to work and sitting in a different chair each time she met in the conference room.

Here are some strategies to break through your comfort zone barrier:

• Try something new (food, book topic, or music)

• Attend a lecture or presentation on a topic you know nothing about (I did this recently and was fascinated with the learning)

• Identify your habits and look at those habitual behaviors with fresh eyes to uncover the expiration date

• Find a buddy or accountability partner – maybe even take on this project together for support

• Be honest, loving, and patient with yourself as you embark on this journey

OK, here is the challenge: Challenge yourself to commit to one activity outside your comfort zone each day for 21 days and watch your world change, and open before you.

I would love to hear from you. Please share your wins of moving outside your comfort zone so we can celebrate!

With love,

Maria