Love of Self, Love of Source, and Love of Others (the Love-Based Leadership model) all require love, trust, and commitment to growth and development in the workplace. If trust and love are not ever-present, then fear-based decisions will result.

“For centuries the human species has been discovering that it is the creator of its own reality, making the discovery, and retreating from it in disappointment (because the wizard [referring to the Wizard of Oz story] is not what we expected) and in fear (because the freedom the discovery brings is unknown and terrifying).”1.

Fear is powerful; so powerful that it alone creates a false reality of that which is feared in the first place. Victor Frankl illustrates, “It is characteristic of this fear that it produces precisely that of which the patient is afraid…the wish is father to the thought…the fear is mother to the event.”2.

Once again, choice is everywhere, calling for a decision between choosing love to guide us or fear to guide us.

“Man is not born slave or free, but creates himself as one or the other through free or voluntary action.”3.

Fear, again, holds us back from achieving so much. We are afraid to show that we care, afraid to open our hearts, and afraid that we may appear vulnerable. The irony in this is that when we really care about the individuals we lead, love multiplies. When people know, see, and feel that you care—they do the same.

“Love really does keep on giving.”4.

How do you give your love?

With love,

Maria

Walter Truett Anderson, Reality Isn’t What it Used to Be (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1990), p. 29.
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning, p. 125
Madan Sarup, An Introduction Guide to Post-structuralism and Postmodernism (Athens, GA: University of Georgia Press, 1993), p. 18.
Lee G. Bolman and Terrence E. Deal, Leading with Soul, p. 88.

Thoughts are powerful.

They are the seeds of ideas, beliefs, creativity, attitudes, knowledge, wisdom, and reality. Thoughts can be our best friends or our worst enemies. Not by happenstance do thoughts come to us; these powerful seeds come to us through choice. Choice and thoughts are action movements, directed by us, whether we are conscious of these activities or not. The key lies in awareness of these two incredible gifts—thoughts, and choices.

Unconscious thoughts are just as powerful as thoughts steeped in awareness.

Earl Nightingale, in The Strangest Secret, likened the mind to a fertile field with two planted seeds—one with corn and one with poisonous nightshade. Both seeds, watered and nurtured, grew—because to the field, the type of seeds planted did not matter.

Our minds are the same way, growing whatever our attention plants and nurtures. I saw a sign the other day that stated ‘Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want.’ With the continued nurturing and care (attention) given to the seeds of worry, the source of worry will grow and become reality. That is how our minds work.

We create our realities.

In Thoughts & Feelings, Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning identify fifteen key groups of disempowering perspectives:

Filtering – Focusing on the negative details of a situation and filtering out all positive aspects.
Polarized Thinking – Seeing a situation as either good or bad, right, or wrong, perfect or a failure.
Over-generalization – Making a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence.
Mind Reading – Making assumptions about what people are feeling, why they are acting as they are, and how they feel about you.
Catastrophizing – Assuming the worst possible outcome will happen.
Personalization – Thinking that everything people do or say is a reaction to you.
Control Fallacy – Thinking that you are responsible for everyone or everything around you.
Fallacy of Fairness – Being resentful because you believe that everything in life should be fair.
Emotional Reasoning – Believing that what you feel is the truth. For example, if you feel unwise, it means that you are unwise.
Fallacy of Change – Believing that you can’t be happy unless you can change those around you to behave, believe, or think the way you want them to.
Global Labeling – Generalizing one or two qualities into the negative global judgment.
Blaming – Thinking that someone else causes everything negative in your life.
Shoulds – You keep a list of rules about the way the world should operate and become angry or disappointed if others don’t follow your rules.
Being Right – Going to any length to demonstrate your rightness because being wrong is terrible.
Heaven’s Reward Fallacy – Feeling bitter when the rewards do not come that you think you deserve after working hard.

Awareness is the first step to disassembling disempowering thoughts.

For today, be in awareness of your thoughts and please share your Aha moments!

With love,

Maria

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