I’ve been working with a city government who is going through some pretty significant changes.

They are going through a major re-organization, and of course, some people are experiencing turnover.

I was coaching a department director whose position may be eliminated. He was very uneasy about his future and even more importantly, he was devastated at the thought of his thirty years of service suddenly ending. He thought the City would take care of him in exchange for his tri-decade loyalty. He felt extremely let down, devastated, and was shocked that the City he loved so much would do this to him.

Enter, the psychological contract.

We often times enter into a psychological contract with our employers unconsciously. These contracts are built on unspoken expectations. We’re not even aware that we’ve formed these contract. But don’t let that fool you…just because we are not aware of these psychological contracts, does not mean they don’t exist.

To the contrary - the greater the lack of awareness we have around these contracts, the greater the hold it has on us.

Our psychological contracts are like a love affair. We give so much to our organization in this relationship. We work hard for this relationship. We don’t sleep, we hardly make time to eat, and we are almost always thinking about this relationship.

How can we give more? How can we please more?

When there is a breach in the contract, the employee/employer relationship can quickly erode and this is where disengagement sets in. It’s like a break up. Our expectations were not met.

We need to manage expectations with ourselves and our team members. We can do this upfront with interviewing, onboarding, reinforcing it during orientation and training, and periodically throughout the year.

A very simple expectation could be that I’m going to give my all to this organization, my expertise, my experience, and my knowledge, and in return they are going to give me a paycheck every two weeks.

Hmmmm that simplifies it.

Your Boss is Younger?

Millennials having such a larger presence in the workforce, and of course in leadership and management roles, the dynamics are going to change. Interview questions are adjusting to the incoming Millennials now in supervisory positions. The old model of working your way up to a Gold Watch and Pension is largely a thing of an era long gone.

Shifting the frames of reference can be tricky in the first place, largely because work experience is vastly different. Recognize also that work motivators, reward motivators, time motivators, and social references are so vastly different.

So how should we approach this shift in sharing authority and respect?

For starters, ask permission to share ideas. Older people sometimes assume that their thoughts and their experiences and their beliefs are more important than younger people. The “older but wiser” construct, whether it's done consciously or unconsciously, isn't always welcomed or appreciated in the vein they intended - in fact, it often destroys the opportunity to build trust.

You know this - when we're judgy to other people, they're going to be judgy back to us. Take a few minutes to consider your existing bias (because we ALL have them!) and then make sure you leverage your experience in a way that is helpful to your team. You have the opportunity to see both the big picture as well as the potential pitfalls your new boss is trying to navigate. When you embrace your own issues and look for opportunities to improve, you have re-joined the team mentality toward progress.

Our younger workforce has grown up with rapid change.

Their agility and ability to change is oftentimes quicker, could you help with historical or relation-based data that would help shorten their success curve? Identify your goal for sharing your ideas. Is what is needed a change process or policy improvement, communication channels need some help, should you look at evaluate efficiencies in work-flows? Something as simple as, “I have an idea around this (needed change), can I share that with you?” may be all it takes.

Avoid making broad assumptions about your younger boss.

You're coming to a conclusion about something that that person may do or may not do. Just because your boss is younger doesn't mean they're partiers and always surfing social media. And if you don't take your supervisor seriously, regardless of age, that's going to be a problem for you. Frame your communications with the understanding that ultimately your boss will answer for whatever is decided, so a partner-approach may prevent unnecessary drama.

Finally, keep it professional.

One danger zone for older workers, when they find themselves working for a younger millennial boss, is that they move into “parent” role. Don't do that, you run the risk they will only see you in that light and it could hurt your career. You definitely don't want to be the one that is giving the advice, getting personal beyond that professional level. Just treat them the way you would an older boss or peer.

“Authority may be appointed but trust builds when we are consistently showing up and choosing kindness and respect.” - Dr. Maria Church

At the end of the day, we want to support our bosses because it strengthens our team and when our team is successful, our organization is successful.

Wishing you successful interactions,

Maria